A Little Piece of Heaven By Cortney Donelson

Matthew 19:12 (MSG)

“… if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”

I don’t cry. Ok, maybe I cry during certain movies like “Beaches” and “There’s Something About Mary.” (chuckle, chuckle) And, maybe I cry when I feel people have hurt me in some way. I suppose I also cry when I see my children doing something difficult for the first time – and succeeding. I definitely cry over loss and tragedy. So, let me start over.

I cry.

I really cry at weddings. It wasn’t until I was married that this throat-constricting phenomenon started. Perhaps it took my own experience walking down the aisle with my dad and his ceremonial handing me over to my husband to realize the enormity of marriage. Before that white-carpeted walk, marriage was a fairy tale. It seemed to be all centerpieces, honeymoons, dresses, and parties. My prince charming and I were going to live happily ever after. However, shortly after we finished our vows, I moved far away from “home,” started a job, bought a house, and the fairy tale staled with the routines and responsibilities of life.

My prince charming and I celebrated 14 years of marriage a couple months ago. While there have been an immeasurable amount of happy times, thrilling adventures, and tiny moments of Heaven, there have been many difficult times as well. It takes a lot of ingredients to make the marriage cake rise, so to speak. Sometimes, we are short on a few of those critical ingredients – patience, selflessness, mercy. We decided early on in our marriage that divorce was just not an option. We witnessed too many couples give up too easily because the option to separate was on their table of solutions. So, we took it off the table.

The reality is there are difficult times in every marriage. It’s why Jesus explains that not everyone is marriage material. In Matthew 11-12 of “The Message Bible,” Jesus says, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked – or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”

In essence, Jesus is saying that marriage is extremely difficult. He doesn’t want us to sugarcoat it and be defeated by lofty expectations of never-ending happiness. In fact, He is saying that people have to grow into marriage. A marriage relationship is so complicated, so large, and so profound that no one is truly ready for it when they actually do get married. In his book “Sacred Marriage,” Gary Thomas writes, “Struggle makes us stronger; it builds us up and deepens our faith. But this result is achieved only when we face the struggle head-on, not when we run from it.” Those countless couples who give up before they have spent the time to grow into it have not given marriage a chance. Maybe they haven’t given God the chance to make their marriages beautiful. Gary Thomas continues, “Struggling successfully and profitably brings a deeper joy than even trouble-free living.” He is right. (And, there’s that word joy again…)

I met a wonderful example of the largeness and joyfulness of marriage just the other day. I never expected an elderly couple to brighten my entire outlook on marriage in a matter of minutes. I hope their story challenges you to keep growing in your marriages. If you are not married and hope to be someday, maybe you will remember this story and take divorce off the table of options when things get difficult.

I sat on a bench outside a department store at the mall waiting for the 10:00 chime that seems to open the doors of every retailer simultaneously. An elderly couple walked up and asked if I would share the bench with them. As soon as they sat down, the husband turned to me and admitted that they now needed to take rest breaks with every lap at the mall. “We used to be able to walk three laps without stopping, but my wife here is 92 years old.” I stared at the beautiful lady who was grinning from ear to ear. He proceeded to share that they have been married 70 years, walk every day, live in the same house they bought 64 years ago, raised three children, and continue to cook and mow the lawn on a regular basis. I sat in amazement. He continued to boast about his wife and her cooking skills. It was so sweet.

He mentioned they live to reach the following Sunday so they can attend church. Then, his wife asked me if I had any children. “Yes, a boy and a girl.”

“How old?” she inquired. “Eight and four.”

“Enjoy every moment with them. Pretty soon they will grow up, get married, and be gone.” I smiled thinking, “I try to, but it’s hard sometimes.”

“And, cherish every moment with your husband. There will be tough times, but they are worth it. You’ll go through a lot together … a lot of ups and downs.” “No kidding…”

 “Too many couples give up these days,” she finished and smiled again, almost knowingly…

Suddenly, the husband stood up, took his wife’s hand, and bid me farewell. “Thanks for listening to us,” he said as they slowly walked away hand-in-hand. “No, thank you,” I whispered.

Here was a couple who had fully grown into the largeness of marriage. God had just given me a little piece of Heaven.

I cried.

Prayer – Sometimes I am in awe with the moments You gift us with here on earth. They come in so many forms, such as an elderly couple giving marital advice, a child laughing uncontrollably, or even the birth of a new baby. Thank You for them. Thank You for reminding us that this home is temporary and with these little pieces of Heaven, we can rejoice in what is to come. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

Slowing Down for Joy By Cortney Donelson

Psalm 86:15
“But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.”

Psalm 103:8

“The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.”

Psalm 145:8

“The Lord is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.”

I tend to do everything fast. I eat fast. I walk fast. I drive fast. I also tend to get angry fast. Not good! I have become somewhat of a stalker on all things Bible. Take www.biblegateway.com, for example. I love this website! I can type in a word, a Scripture, or a phrase, and it will show me all the Bible passages that contain those key words. I use this resource often – especially while I am writing. So, imagine my naivety-inspired surprise when I typed in “slow anger” and three almost identical verses popped up. They all come from Psalms, and at least in the New Living Translation, all say the exact same thing. So, what is God up to when it comes to being slow to anger? I think I have one idea…

God created us in His image (Genesis 1:27). Ideally, we are to grow more Christ-like during our faith journeys. If that remains our goal, then we will be constantly changing, always improving. One area where I knew I needed to improve was in the area of anger management. As a teenager, I once hit someone’s car with my tennis racket because she said something rude to my younger brother. In college, I remember throwing a phone across the room during an argument with someone. My anger has always been quick to rise up, and the reactions that bleed from that rage are slow to heal anything.

When I invited Christ into my heart, I knew this was an area I needed to address. Over the years, I have been intentionally focused on reeling in those emotions that boil inside when I perceive injustices have occurred. I pray, seek God’s word, invite His peace, remember His justice, and even run out of a room if I believe I won’t be able to stop the boil over. Recently, I had a breakthrough.

I read a book called “Relationships” by Dr. Phillips and his wife. They are Christian counselors, and the book was recommended by a friend. The authors talk about “slowing down” when an argument is about to happen or when you feel anger rising up inside you. Easier said than done! But, it worked because slowing down allowed me to focus on the root of my anger and let God show me the truth of what was really happening. I began to understand that people are not purposely trying to make me mad. No one wants to hurt me. I have heart wounds that get stepped on, but no one knows about them but me. What are some of my wounds? The fear of being misunderstood, feeling abandoned, and believing others see me as unimportant or insignificant … but what is the truth? God understands me. God is here. God adores me with an unfailing love. God created me significant.

One night just a couple weeks ago, I felt the anger begin its boil during a conversation with my husband. I recognized it immediately and slowed myself down to ask God what wound of mine was being opened. “I am not important” was the lie I uncovered. Once I recognized it, God immediately began to impress upon me that I am beyond important. God whispered, “Your husband loves you. He cares about your opinion. More importantly, I love you. You are one of my cherished and beloved daughters. I care about you enough to choose you – every day. And, that is enough.” My anger vanished. My husband and I finished our conversation without the blowup, and I knew I had finally upset the enemy’s control over that particular heart wound. I was filled with the joy that always tends to follow His peace.

So, what is God up to when He describes Himself as being “slow to anger” three times within in the same book of the Bible – only a few verses apart? It helps us slow down. He wants us to read it – again, again, and again. The first time through, we may have been reading so fast that we would have missed it. God wants us to fill our wounds with this medicating truth: His compassion, His mercy, His love, and His faithfulness are enough to heal any broken heart and stop any anger in its tracks.

Slowing down my anger is not easy. It takes discovering what my old wounds are and trusting they can be sown up and healed with God’s mercies. Have I been successful? Not always. Am I changing? Yes! Am I becoming more Christ-like and learning to be slower to anger? Yes! Am I perfect? No – and that’s okay. God made each of us with the capacity to reflect His own characteristics. For me, this means reducing that white-hot anger that arises so quickly and instead, reflecting His peace while finding His joy.

Prayer – God, thank You for repeating Your message in Psalms so that we don’t miss it. Slowing down our anger allows us to find Your peace and joy. I am forever thankful for Your compassion – especially knowing we don’t deserve it at times. I will continue to work towards filling my wounds with Your medicating truths. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

Beauty In, Beauty Out By Cortney Donelson

Luke 11:34-35 (NIV)

“Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness. See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness.”

“Did you see her eyes?”

They say the eyes are the gateway to the soul. I believe it … God knows it. When Jesus was teaching about this, He said our eyes are the lamps of our bodies (Luke 11:34). That is so very significant. Lamps give off light. He was telling us that our eyes can give off His light. I have heard Jesus’ eyes described as “piercing,” “striking,” and even “like fire.” Have you ever met someone and been struck by her eyes?

I know a powerfully spiritual and godly woman. I met her this past year. Her eyes are a gorgeous green color. Well, they are green most of the time. When she is praying or giving spiritual counsel, I swear they turn blue! (I don’t really swear … but they do!) “When our eyes are good,” teaches Jesus, our whole bodies are filled with light – His light. Wouldn’t you rather be filled with light than darkness? Me too. So, how do we make our eyes good?

When I listen to music, I don’t just hear it, I experience it. Likewise, images, film, TV, books, and gaming are all experienced. They influence our feelings about, opinions of, and relationship with God – and others. God is aware, more so than we, that all this incoming information will affect us, and it can be positively or negatively. It is one of the reasons He instructs us on what to fill our minds with in Philippians 4:8. “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.” (MSG) He wants our minds focused on the beautiful and noble, not the immoral and ugly. “Junk in, junk out” as they say. Likewise, beauty in, beauty out.

This godly woman chooses to fill her mind through her eyes with beauty. Her servant attitude comes from her focus on goodness and purity. She demonstrates love and grace like no one else I know. Jesus’ light shines through her as humility and compassion. She craves Scripture, prayer, and truth. Her life profession is proof of all this. This woman is a Christian counselor – beauty in, beauty out.

Individuals whose eyes are good shy away from books, movies, or TV shows that cheapen entertainment and oppose biblical principles. These people are the ones others want to be around. They are positive thinkers. Their joy is found in doing the “right” things – the things focused on helping others. These are the individuals who become truly great. They are the ones who will make a difference for God’s Kingdom.

Those with darkness in their bodies have sold out to the evil with which we can choose to fill our minds' eyes. We know these individuals as sarcastic and greedy. Maybe they feed off gossip. They’re selfish. They might lie, cheat, or steal. Their eyes are hollow. The gateways to their souls are littered with TV shows like “Three and a Half Men” and books such as “50 Shades of Grey.” The eyes of these lost souls feed on pornography and violent video games. If we live with darkness, we have a limited life perspective, and others will notice – junk in, junk out.

Our minds are amazing machines, constantly working. Millions of thoughts and perceptions go through them at lightning speed every day. What we view, read, hear, and do affect those millions of thoughts and perceptions. In his book, “God Is Closer Than You Think,” John Ortberg writes, “In reality, each thought we have carries with it a little spiritual power, a tug toward or away from God. No thought is purely neutral. Every thought is either enabling and strengthening you to be able to cope with reality to live a kingdom kind of life, or robbing you of that life. Every thought is – at least to a small extent – God-breathed or God-avoidant; leading to death or leading toward life.” So what affects our thoughts? What pushes us towards God or away from Him? The answer is whatever we choose…

What we allow into our minds – through our eyes – affects our hearts. We know our eyes are good when the moods that dominate our lives are love, joy, thanksgiving, and peace. We will know when we are living beauty in, beauty out when others’ needs become more important than our own, and as a consequence, others find themselves attracted to God within us and strive to be in His presence. We will know Christ's light is shining through when we feel at peace with what we do with our time and what we allow our eyes to see.

“Did you see her eyes?” they will say.

Prayer – “Lord, thank You for all the beauty You have provided that we can choose to set our minds on and feed our hearts with. I pray all of our choices are wise. I pray, specifically, that my eyes are good and I shine with Christ’s light. I pray my thoughts are bent towards a life connected to You and not to worldly things that will hinder my relationship with You. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

A Trinity of Warriors By Cortney Donelson

John 3:16 (NLT)
“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

This is not about politics.

This is not about war or peace.

This is about love and sacrifice.

One of my cousins just kissed her husband goodbye for the next 13 months. He is a Marine and was deployed, leaving behind his wife and two children – ages 4 and 7 – for a whole year. I cannot imagine the emotions that must be swirling around that family and the many other families whose lives revolve around a deep fear that one of their members may be deployed for such an extended time. As I thought about my cousin and prayed for her family on the day her husband left, God laid the idea of this devotional on my heart. I view it as a testimony to the love and sacrifice military families share with us – our whole nation. I am dedicating this devotional to them.

In my prayers, God showed me that our soldiers are kind of like Jesus. They share some of the same characteristics: courage, honor, strength, and discipline, to name a few. While Jesus hung on the Cross so we could have eternal life, our soldiers enter war zones and put themselves in harm’s way so we can live with liberties most people in other countries will never know. While Jesus resisted the enemy and taught people how to follow Him, our soldiers battle human foes and teach others how to defend themselves. And, just as Jesus bled and died for our sins, our soldiers are wounded and killed for our freedom. “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13 NLT)

Then, God showed me that the families of these soldiers are kind of like Him. These family members – wives, children, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers – love and support these soldiers. But, it’s more than that. They love and support those who love others enough to choose a soldier’s life. Just as God sacrificed His Son for us, these family members sacrifice an enormous amount. “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 NLT)

My cousin’s children will not see their daddy for 13 months. They will miss him on their birthdays, on holidays, and on a first day of kindergarten. They will miss him when they lose their baby teeth and as they skin their knees learning to ride their bikes. They will miss his hugs, his jokes, his bedtime stories … at times even his voice. My cousin will miss the mate God handpicked for her. She will miss date nights, shared glances, breaks from her now single mom’s life, his safe arms wrapped around her, and more. My cousin is sacrificing a year without her best friend and parenting partner. While God knows the gut-wrenching pain of the death of His child on that Cross, these military families know the torture of many months living in anxious waiting. Some even know the pain of losing their loved ones as well.

As I thought about these similarities, I was overwhelmed by the love these soldiers and their families must have for us all – even though we are strangers to most of them. God’s overpowering love for us was displayed when He sent Jesus to earth, knowing the life His Son would lead and how He would die. The love these military families have for us is truly amazing. It is displayed by the dedication they have to protect all the things we tend to take for granted.

Finally, God reminded me that there is a Trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. I asked God, “Who represents the Holy Spirit in this equation?” Then it hit me. We do! Every American who lives within the freedoms these soldiers have battled and preserved for us represents the Holy Spirit. Think about it. The Holy Spirit is that soft voice in our hearts. He encourages us. He motivates us. He cheers for us. He gives us truth. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit down to earth when He ascended to our heavenly home so that we would have the support and guidance we would need to make it.

We are the encouragers for these families. We are the supporters. We whisper our thanks as we also fill the cheering section. We are their helpers. We are warriors too – prayer warriors. We are the ones responsible for lifting these soldiers and their families up to God in prayer. Did you know the Holy Spirit prays on our behalves when we are not able? Romans 8:26-27 (NLT) says, “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” That is precisely what we can do in exchange for the love and sacrifice we receive from these families.

We are all warriors. The soldiers are physical warriors. Their families are the emotional warriors. The rest of us are the spiritual warriors – a full trinity of warriors. Thank you to all our military. Thank you to every military family. Thank you!

Prayer – Lord, protect our soldiers. Keep them safe until their missions bring them home to their loved ones. We lift up their families to You as well. Give them a peace that surpasses their understanding of their situations. Hope is found in You, God. Help them find it every single day they wake up and desperately need it just to keep going. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.