Rage, Run, or Rest? By Cortney Donelson

Matthew 16:24 (NLV)
“Jesus said to His followers, “If anyone wants to be My follower, he must forget about himself. He must take up his cross and follow Me.”

I could see the family of geese hundreds of yards away, the tiniest ones toddling behind mom and dad as they crossed the on-ramp leading to the interstate. I screamed, honked my horn, and flashed my lights. The driver in front of me never slowed down. Perhaps he was reaching for his newspaper. Maybe his coffee mug had slipped beneath his passenger seat. Whatever distraction the world had offered up was enough to cause the worst site I had ever witnessed. Feathers burst into the air as the car plowed through the line of geese. The goslings managed to dodge the car’s tires with either mom or dad squawking on the side of the road. However, one of the adult geese was hit and instantly killed. Even after, the driver barely touched his brakes.

It’s an awful image, I know. I cannot erase it from my mind’s eye, and it happened over 12 years ago. I cried the entire drive to work that day. No wait – I didn't just cry – I screamed and raged against God. I punched the steering wheel and looked up to the sky as I spewed some ugly obscenities at Him. How could He let it happen? Why did He allow me to witness it? I couldn't find any reason why God would have me watch the whole horrific event. I was so angry at Him! I raged for quite some time, and let me say this – the raging did not reverse the outcome and bring back that poor goose. It didn't take away my memory of the accident. Certainly, it did not affect the distracted driver in any way. Rage did not do any good at all.

We do that though, don’t we? I would guess some of you have witnessed something far worse than what I watched on that road. I would venture most of us have seen something we wished we could have stopped – something awful of which we had no control.

Let’s consider some of the reactions we have towards God when we experience pain or go through difficult times. We might rage against God and blame Him for our suffering. I, for one, have had that doubting thought that utters, “A good God would not have let this happen.” I certainly did as I watched that car 12 years ago. Some of us tend to fill with anger if we believe that with His divine control, God should have stopped the trauma or disaster. Sometimes anger is just the easiest reaction. In reality, it is the most damaging too.

If we don’t rage, perhaps we run. We flee with the excuse that, “There must not be a God if this happened.” Rather than blame Him, we alienate Him. We might stop praying or attending church. We sometimes go so far as to end the relationship altogether. We lose hope and trust in the One who is, in reality, the hope of the world and always faithful. However, at the end of our run, we are left very much alone.

There is a third reaction we can choose during life’s toughest challenges. We can rest. We can rest in the Lord’s love and grace. We can run to Jesus, fall in His outstretched arms, and take comfort in His promises. I can tell you from experience, resting under God’s wings and in Christ’s love is the reaction that brings the greatest healing for us – emotionally, physically, and spiritually. When I rest in Him, I am filled. Sitting in quiet confidence and trusting God grows my faith and secures my hope so much more than raging in anger or running in fear. I know – I have tried all three.

Kyle Idleman, author of “Not a Fan,” writes about being a true follower of Jesus – not just an “enthusiastic admirer.” I found these words from his book ringing true: “(A fan) knows all about the latest stats, but he doesn't know the players. He yells and cheers, but nothing is really required of him. There is no sacrifice he has to make. And the truth is … if the team he’s cheering for has a few off seasons, his passion will wane pretty quickly. You can expect him to jump off the fan wagon.”

Should we embrace only the happy and “good” times from God, but not the difficult? Jesus makes it clear that following Him does not lead us down the easy road. It requires much sacrifice. At times, it can seem downright impossible. Yet, He is molding us, growing us, and shaping us. Resting in God and trusting in His goodness amidst trauma and uncertainty are sure signs that you are dangerously close to becoming a true follower of Jesus and not just that overzealous fan that stops cheering and runs away when things go wrong. Matthew 16:24 (NLV) says, "Jesus said to His followers, 'If anyone wants to be My follower, he must forget about himself. He must take up his cross and follow Me.”

Are you livid with God for something that has happened to you? Have you turned your back on Him in distrust? I encourage you to try the third reaction. Run to the Lord and find some rest. Let His all-encompassing love comfort you and bring you peace. Allow Him to hold your tears and instill hope for your future. Trust His promises while you wait for His redemption. Trust me – it’s worth it.

Prayer – Lord, I am so grateful You never turned Your back on me when I have turned mine on You so many times. My anger left me empty and alone but resting in You filled me. I pray for wisdom as we choose how to respond to life's situations. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

Seeds By Cortney Donelson

Psalm 97:11 (The Message)

“Light-seeds are planted in the souls of God’s people, Joy-seeds are planted in good heart-soil.”

What is your seed?

I think you know what I am referring to – although you may choose to ignore the question for a host of reasons. Maybe the whisper of fear prevents you from saying it out loud. You ask yourself, “Is God big enough?” Perhaps anger and pain stop you from admitting you have this seed. The ugly tentacles of denial could be strangling the sound right from your voice, preventing you from naming it. Or, maybe the liar is trying to convince you that you don’t have what it takes – whether “it” is talent, resources, courage, time, money…

What is your seed?

God is many things. One of His favorite occupations is planter. God plants seeds. In nature, His seeds grow into beautiful flowers, trees, vegetables, or fruits. Sometimes it happens whether others see the beauty or not – such as with wildflowers in the forest. God also plants seeds within us. Sadly, sometimes our seeds and the beauty that can grow from them are never shared either. God hopes that doesn’t happen.

What is your seed?

Psalm 97:11 tells us “Light-seeds are planted in the souls of God’s people…” Think about that. We were created with seeds in the deepest part of our beings that have the capacity to crack open and transform into beautiful light – His light. When we were created in God’s image, He planted this light-seed that shines from within, beckoning others to Him. How do I believe this works? First, let’s answer the question, “What is your seed?”

A good friend of mine once told me that she had dreamed of adopting a child when she was very young. She had even written it down as a goal in one of her school yearbooks. At age 39, that adoption seed cracked open and bloomed as she boarded an airplane for China to bring home her little girl. Now, God’s light is shining through, and others are taking notice.

My husband shared with me that he had an ambition for public speaking as a child, but he never thought the opportunity was right. At age 37, that speaking seed cracked open and bloomed as he stood on a stage in front of dozens of teenagers to share an important message God had deposited within him. Now, God’s light is shining through, and others are taking notice.

My light-seed was writing. For years, I attempted to put my ideas on paper without success. Then, at age 36, after going through the darkest time of my life, God cracked open my writing seed, and it has bloomed into a devotional blog and written talks for God’s Kingdom. In His perfect timing, God unleashed the power of this light-seed so that my writing had purpose – for His glory. I ran from the fear, and I said yes to the opportunities that allowed His beautiful light to bloom. Now, God’s light is shining through, and others are taking notice.

What are your dreams? What tugs at your heart? What did God plant in you? What is your light-seed? We all have at least one. Maybe it is on this list – God is waiting for you to name it, to say it out loud, and to allow Him to bring it to life - to light.

• Adoption
• Art
• Counseling
• Foster Care
• Healing
• Ministry
• Missions
• Music
• Philanthropy/Giving
• Public Speaking
• Teaching
• Volunteering
• Worship
• Writing

Once we name our seeds, what do we do with them? Will we let them sit there in our souls, tugging at our heart strings as we simultaneously smother His light? I pray not! God provides opportunities to crack them open, cultivate them, and grow them. God will support them so long as we take those opportunity gifts and do something with them. After all, the seeds were planted by Him for very specific purposes. This is how God asks us to “let our light shine.”

In the movie “Evan Almighty,” God (as played by Morgan Freeman) spoke to the wife of the main character. She doesn't realize it was God with whom she was conversing. He said something so profound that it stayed with me. “When people pray for courage, does God make them courageous? Or, does God provide opportunities for them to be courageous?” I believe it is the latter. God will give us the opportunities to carry out the things He created us to do. I pray that we act on those opportunities and not let fear, pride, disbelief, selfishness, or distrust get in the way. “…with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

Psalm 97:11 continues, “…Joy-seeds are planted in good heart-soil.” Ah, joy! We all have joy-seeds too. According to Scripture, God planted them in our hearts. How do we unleash this joy? Heart-soil becomes good when our light-seeds are shining in perfect bloom. When our soul’s seeds have matured and we have said yes to doing that which we were created to do, joy spills over. That is His promise.

I often think about the other side of Heaven. I have no idea what it looks like, what I will feel when I get there, or all the questions that may be answered when I arrive. I do know this: I do not want to get there and find out I had a light-seed that I kept buried in fear’s darkness. I do not want God to show me all I could have accomplished for Him and all I could have become had I said yes to that seed and the opportunities God gifted to crack it open. I want His light and joy to pour out of me. I want people to look at my one shot at a life of significance, to be drawn to that light and joy, and for them to say, “I want that.”

I bet many of us want that. God’s light is waiting for us. And, when it cracks open and we live in its full bloom, people will take notice…

Prayer – Thank You for the dreams and desires You plant in our hearts and souls. My prayer is that no gift goes unopened but that we allow You to be the I AM that we are not. Remind us that You will strengthen us through Christ who lives within us. We love You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

Fasting from Prayer? By Cortney Donelson

Jude 1:20-21 (The Message)

“… carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God’s love, keeping your arms open and outstretched … This is the unending life, the real life!”

“Only through prayer can we look outside ourselves and our habits to see what God wishes for us to see.” – Dennis Cox

Just as with my New Years’ resolutions, I challenged myself to think outside the box for Lent this year. During Lent, the 40 days leading up to Easter, many Christians choose to give up something significant (called a fast) in honor of Christ’s death on the cross. The idea is that when you start to crave whatever it is you relinquished, you instead remember the sacrifice Jesus underwent and you draw closer to God through prayer. For example, if I give up Facebook (which I did one year), then whenever the urge to check Facebook arises, I instead pray, giving thanks to God for His Son’s death on my behalf.

However, there was a problem. The year I gave up Facebook, I did not pray every time I thought about logging into that social giant. Instead, I grimaced and moved on to another equally time-wasteful activity. Honestly, I hardly prayed at all. Ironically, this was also the same year that I questioned everything about prayer itself.

Does prayer work?

How am I supposed to pray?

What’s the purpose of prayer if God is in complete control and knows everything anyway?

So in 2011, I spent 12 months researching prayer. I studied the Bible. I read online opinions and books. I wrote down and considered everything I found.

Here is a small portion of what I uncovered.

When I looked at what the Lord Jesus teaches us about prayer, I saw that it's about aligning ourselves with God's Kingdom, with His values, and with His character. Left to ourselves, we tend to move away from God and prefer instead to indulge our own desires. Just like car tires that are out of alignment, the ride is not a smooth one as we fall away from God. However, when we are aligned with God through a diligent prayer life, those bumpy roads feel less jarring.

Another way to think about it is this. Prayer is not about telling God what I want so He can give me my heart’s desires. It is supposed to be about submitting to His will even as I share my desires with Him, understanding that if He wants something different and better than what I want, I acknowledge that He has the right to do whatever He wants because He is God, and I am not. As Jim Davis writes, “Human pride prevents prayer from being a natural thing. Prayer interferes with our own ambitions and our personal agendas.” I have to make the choice to pray. Thankfully, I have discovered that when I do pray it puts my greedy and prideful heart back on track.

God is sovereign, and yet my prayers make a difference … not a difference in the events around me but a difference within me. “A person who experiences prayer as it is intended to be experienced will finish off his prayers as a very different person than he began. The person who began the prayers (as a selfish, self-oriented individual) might not have really deserved what he was asking for, but the new person he becomes as he concludes the prayers (as a thankful, grateful, and more spiritual being),” says Chauna Weisberg, has fulfilled God’s purpose for prayer.

Prayer is meant to be an introspective process. The reason I will continue to pray is not to change what God has intended for me, but for me to get a better picture of His true reality. Jude 1:20-21 says, “… carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God’s love, keeping your arms open and outstretched … This is the unending life, the real life!” When I pray, I stay in God’s grace and love. I begin to think like Him, opening the door to living with a joyful purpose. His ways slowly become my ways. And, that is when my life gets the most exciting!

So, why in the world would we fast from prayer? We wouldn't.  Fasting and prayer go hand-in-hand. Deny yourself while you focus on Him, and you will grow closer to God. My point with the title of this blog was this:

What if prayer became such a critical component of our daily life that we couldn't live a moment without it? Imagine what our lives might look like if prayer was our priority instead of our cell phones, Facebook statuses, chocolate, alcohol, snacking, work, cigarettes, or any other of the myriad of things we all try to surrender for Lent. Could prayer become so important that it would be what we think of first when we bring to mind what we cannot live without?

We have the ability to align our hearts with God’s will, expand our currently limited ideas of what is good for us, and embrace God’s love and grace. Envision the relationship we could forge with our Holy Father through prayer – one that would allow Him to stand with us and make us heroes for His Kingdom. That is the kind of life I want – a prayer-filled and purpose-filled life.

Don’t you?

Prayer – God, thank You for the ability to know You. We can know about You through the Bible, but prayer provides for a deeper relationship that changes us from the inside out. Through prayer, we can become more like You, and that is truly a gift. My prayer for us all is that our prayer lives become so crucial that we could not get through a day without it. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.