Is it You? By Cortney Donelson

John 11:35 (NIV)

“Jesus wept.”

Source: Unknown

In my opinion, I don’t know if there has been a more powerful two-word sentence ever written than this: 

“Jesus wept.” 

In John’s gospel, Jesus had just learned of Lazarus’s death. Lazarus’s sister, Mary, who is also Jesus’s close friend, was filled with grief and sobbing at His feet. Upon witnessing Mary’s anguish, Jesus was overcome with emotion. Jesus felt every bit of Mary’s pain. It did not matter that He already knew He would raise Lazarus from the dead. Jesus’s sorrow – His love - was so profound, that He didn’t just cry. The King of Kings and Savior of the world, who knew He would soon crush all of death under His feet - He wept. 

I do not know for whom this devotion is written. I just know it is for someone specific. Is it you?

A few weeks ago, I was driving alone in my car. As is typical for these solo drives, I was singing along with worship music. I sing loudly. I don’t just follow along in my head, hum, or mouth the words. I belt out the verses of these songs. If you were to stop beside me at a red light, you might think I was crazy. I get lost in the music. It’s just what I do.

This particular day, a song came on the radio that I had heard a few dozen times. This time, as I listened and sang along, something happened. 

How Sweet the Sound (Citizen Way)

Yea though I walk through the valley

I know that You are always right beside me

And I will fear no evil

You're my rock

And my strength

You comfort me

Amazing grace how sweet the sound

I hear You singing over me

I once was lost but now I'm found

And it's beautiful

Amazing grace how sweet the sound

It covers every part of me

My soul is silent

I am found

And it's a beautiful sound

You carry me through the waters

Where Your peace clears away all my sorrow

And nothing can separate us from Your love

Oh, Your love it will always be

You were healing in the pain

You were shelter in the storm

Hallelujah You restore my soul

As I sang, I wept. I felt no sorrow. No grief. No anguish. No pain. I wept with tears that soaked my face and neck. I just could not stop. My throat never constricted like it does when my own raw emotion is attached to my tears. As I sang and wept, I felt the overpowering sensation that I was weeping Jesus’s tears, and they were tears for someone else. I had no idea who that someone might have been – I still don’t. Is it you?

Jesus wept for Lazarus. He wept for Mary. Jesus weeps for us. When we walk through a darkness filled with deep sorrow or pain, Jesus is there. He cares. He loves us through it. When jobs are lost. When food is scarce. When our children struggle with a fatal disease. When our marriages end. When our safety is betrayed. When our innocence is stolen. When our homes are destroyed. When our nation is under attack. When our pain is so great that we think it just can’t get any worse, Jesus weeps for us. 

That day in the car, Jesus was weeping through me. Was it for you? 

I have had this devotion on my heart for two weeks now. I wanted to write and publish it last week. I felt like someone needed to hear it then. Someone needed to know that Jesus sees him (or her). He cares about him. He loves him. However, I allowed my busy schedule and other things to get in the way of doing what I believe God laid on my heart to accomplish. I may have missed God’s will and perfect timing. I feel like this week might be too late for that someone. And, I am sorry. 

I do know that God can take my procrastination and create something meaningful in His perfect way. In that promise, I find some relief. I also know that God’s love is so vast and so good that He uses many different ways to show it. In this case, I believe He is using someone who is not currently living in a dark place to weep and write for another. Me. In that sense, I am overwhelmed and humbled by His plan. I hope I have reached that individual who needed to know this … to know that Jesus wept for him. If it is not you, is it someone you know? 

If nothing else, we could all remember this: God’s love is so powerful that it can make a Savior weep. He wept for Lazarus and Mary. He will weep for you too. 

Prayer – God, I have experienced something I cannot explain. I wept without feeling. I can only assume it was You, weeping through me, and I pray I was not too late in getting Your message out. You love someone so deeply and so vastly, that You wept for them. You want them to know You see them. You care about what they are going through. You love them. Thank You for that love.  In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2014 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

No Scars ... No Proof By Cortney Donelson

This devotion was first published on "As a Clay Jar" in 2013. It happens to be the most viewed post to date by those in the United States. I hope you enjoy either reading it for the first time or revisiting it. My prayer is that the message is one of encouragement but also of conviction ... that we shouldn't hide our hurts if God wants us to use them for His glory. Amen?

Galatians 6:17 (The Message)

“Quite frankly, I don’t want to be bothered anymore by these disputes. I have far more important things to do – the serious living of this faith. I bear in my body scars from my service to Jesus.”

Growing up an avid athlete, I had my fair share of injuries. In fact, I had plenty of surgeries in attempts to fix those injuries, and those surgeries left a lot of scars. After my second wrist surgery to repair the torn ligaments that ended my tennis career, I had accumulated 11 scars from scalpels alone. It was then I received an amusing T-shirt from a family member. The back of the shirt read, “No scars … No proof.” It reminded me that my body had taken some abuse over the years. More importantly, it reminded me of what I had received in return for those wounds – self-confidence, determination, triumph, friendship, discipline, courage, and memories that will last a lifetime. The scars were the proof of what I had gained, and they were worth it.

Jesus bore wounds that were worth our very lives. There was a disciple to whom Jesus appeared after His crucifixion – one who needed a little extra information in order to believe the Good News. In John 20:24-25, Jesus’ wounds would become the proof Thomas needed of Jesus’ resurrection. “One of the twelve disciples, Thomas, was not with the others when Jesus came. They told him, ‘We have seen the Lord!’ But he replied, ‘I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side.” Eight days later, Jesus allowed Thomas to do just that. Those wounds were proof that the living God had come to earth, died for our sins, and rose again. Jesus was alive!

Sometimes, our wounds are worth it too. But, our wounds are not always physical, are they? Most of us have emotional and spiritual hurts too. Thomas wasn’t the only one to receive the Good News. Jesus came to heal our wounds as well – all of them. Some wounds are superficial, bleed for a short time, and are then forgiven and forgotten. Others remain active for years – similar to cuts on knuckles that keep reopening. They tear at our confidence. Jesus can heal those long-standing hurts too.

How? He stops the bleeding, and He leaves the scars. I believe if He erased our experiences and left no evidence of our pain, we might not learn from those experiences. Think about it. Would we remember them without the scars? Would we be able to turn them into powerful messages for God’s gain and glory? Probably not. As they say, “Out of sight, out of mind.”

Many of us try to hide our wounds and scars. I used to do this. I would cover them up, keep them private, and deny their existence. I believed they were ugly and thought if I ignored them, they would go away. Can I share something? That is a lie. As a believer, I have learned that God not only sows up our wounds and builds scars over them, but He also uses them in mighty ways – if we allow Him. Galatians 6:17 in The Message says, “Quite frankly, I don’t want to be bothered anymore by these disputes. I have far more important things to do – the serious living of this faith. I bear in my body scars from my service to Jesus.” It’s time we stop being bothered by the fact that we have scars. Maybe it is time we start seeing them as God does – ugly made into beautiful. As the Scripture says, I have more important things to do than worry about what others might think – namely, I need to be living authentically for a Savior who is bigger than any wound I bear.

All of us have wounds. It’s part of life. We can stop trying to be perfect and stop pretending we are unscathed. When we allow God to heal our hurts, He does … and leaves the scars. He doesn't erase them. Doing so would take away our memory – our message. We all carry scars that shape who we are and the decisions we make. Many times as Christ followers, we are offered the opportunity to sustain wounds and bear the scars in service to Jesus. And, what an awesome opportunity that is! After all, no scars … no proof.

Prayer –Thank You, Father God, for the wounds Jesus’ bore on our behalf. The scars on His body are the proof that our sins are forgiven, and we have a home in Your heavenly dwelling. For that, we are all so grateful. I pray we don’t try to hide our hurts in darkness but bring them to You, the ultimate healer. I pray we don’t judge others’ wounds and scars, but instead allow You to heal them and use them for Your glory. I know by doing so, we will all find Your joy. In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN!

© 2013-2014 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

Collecting and Depositing Pieces By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

1 John 2:6 (ESV) 

“Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.”

The metaphor I am about to use about the heart is not inherently biblical. However, the underlying message is based in Scripture. I believe it’s one of the foundational hopes God carries for us all. The metaphor materialized in my thoughts recently, as I was talking with a group of women with whom I will soon travel to Haiti. I love when God shows up like this.

Our hearts are not born whole. They are fragmented. Some pieces are missing. They need to be found, collected, and added to the whole. There are other parts of our hearts that are not our own. They don’t belong. They don’t fit quite right. Our hearts are comprised of significant portions that should be deposited for others to use or for us to relinquish for God’s glory. All of these pieces are God pieces. 

“When I left Haiti last June, I left a piece of my heart there. I can’t wait to go back.” 

As the group of women talked about and asked questions about our upcoming mission experience and a couple of their pending adoptions of children from Haiti, something clicked. My statement had triggered something inside me. I did not know if it was a good click or a bad one. I just knew that later, on the 90-minute drive home, I wanted to sit with God. Something in these conversations was important. 

Later in my car, a question materialized. Why do I feel like part of my heart is in Haiti but not Russia or China? My children were also adopted internationally. One from Rostov, Russia, and the other from Nanchang, China. Mommy guilt started to creep in. Why don’t I feel as connected to by children’s birth countries as I do to Haiti? 

God answered. I started to see my heart like a glass vase with some pieces of the mosaic missing. Holes in my vase reveal where those specific fragments are not present. God knows what those pieces are, and He knows where I can find them. The question for me becomes will I follow Him to those missing pieces in order to build my heart and make it whole? 

Many years ago, I followed God to Russia. I found a piece of my heart in the blue eyes of a little boy sitting on the countertop of the medical room in a small orphanage. That piece was put in its place, forever sealed into my love-vase. I followed God to China several years later. I found another missing piece of my heart. She too, with her petite body but huge smile, filled one of the holes in my heart. I wasn’t leaving my heart in Russia or China. I was collecting my own heart’s pieces. I was treasuring what God had willed for me long ago. 

Haiti was different. God had placed an extra piece on my heart-vase. A piece that didn’t belong only to me. It was to be shared … given away even. When I followed God to Haiti last year, it was for the purpose of depositing that piece, forever connecting me to the people, the culture, and their needs. When I travel to Haiti again this summer, I am simply going to visit that piece I left behind. It’s a God piece that will continue to pour out to others in an effort to show them who this person of Jesus is – to give them Life.

I believe we all have missing pieces. Call them God-shaped pieces if you will. But, I believe they come in all shapes and sizes and are meant to be filled with the plans, will, purposes, and adventures that God wants us to pursue as we run after Him. I believe the tugs we feel to do something extraordinary and for His glory are the pulsing beats of those pieces felt from the other side of the street, other end of town, in the slum neighborhood, in the widow’s house, and in the orphanage across the globe. 

I think we all have extra pieces too. They are portions of our hearts that were intended to be given away. Perhaps these pieces are shared via acts service, gifts, tithe, time, resources, acts of love, or as callings. What about in our marriages? Or in our jobs, neighborhoods, or churches? Christ was in the giving-away-heart-pieces business. He so desperately wants us to do the same.  The apostle John wrote, “Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” As followers of Christ, we can all do a better job of leaving behind our hearts – as reflections of His heart. “Walk the walk,” as they say.

Have you been collecting pieces to make your heart whole? Is there something tugging at your heart that you have been ignoring? I challenge you to find that piece. Follow God to the ends of the earth if you have to. A full and complete mosaic is what He is after – isn’t it what we should be chasing after as well?

Have you been depositing parts of your heart? Have you left His legacy in areas where others could use some God-shaped heart pieces? I encourage you to pray about how you can do that. We all want to make a difference. Sharing our extra heart pieces is an amazing way to get started.

Prayer – God, thank You for tugging on the holes in my heart and leading me to my children. Thank You for allowing me to share my heart – Your heart – with others in Haiti. I pray I continue to follow Your lead as we collect and deposit Your love wherever we go together. In Jesus name, Amen.