The Story of our Lives By Cortney Donelson

Source Cred: Unknown

Peace

Joy

Courage

Obedience

The words above may be familiar to you if you have followed my devotions for any length of time. They are the words I have prayerfully used to enter each of the past (now) five years with a focused blueprint of how I wanted to live out that year. These were not words I randomly chose nor were they words I necessarily felt enthusiastic about at the beginning of each year. These words were selected by an intentional time of prayer and discernment. I believe God gave me each word. 

This devotion is my proof of that very statement. God gave me each word, and as I lived out the year with that particular word as the foundation of my decisions and perspective, miracles happened. God showed me the way. His way. 

This year I have a new word, but I’ll reveal it in a bit. First, I would love to take you on a 30,000-foot tour of the past four years of my life. I want you to see how God used those words above to paint a precious story. It’s the story of my life. 

My word for 2012 was peace. After a thoroughly turbulent time in my life, God impressed upon me the need to seek out His peace and restore it in my life. On the brink of divorce, God saved us with His peace. When chaos ruled our schedules, and we were overbooked and under rested, God invited us to find refuge in Jesus. Because of my word, we put aside our busy lives, our unresolved conflict, our unforgiveness, and our constant running around. And, the Prince of Peace came and settled in our home. Every decision we made in 2012 was based on that one virtue. Others who visited our home noticed. An individual who had no idea that my word of the year was peace visited during the summer of 2012 and said, “Your home is so much more peaceful than mine.”  That one statement truly melted my heart and soul. It was my absolute confirmation that just one word can change everything. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for knowing the thing we needed most and providing me with the promptings to focus on peace that year. 

In 2013, peace paved the way for joy. That year brought focused intimacy with God and with family. As we began to settle into our peaceful routine, we found we were happier, more content, rested, hopeful, and full of God. Full of joy. After two years without laughter in our house, we started to remember how to smile. Then joke and giggle. Finally, we remembered how to laugh again. We were living life with full trust in God. He had redeemed our marriage; we were past the chaos of recovery and had found His joy in starting over. God was trustworthy and we knew it deep in our bones. Circumstances were not perfect. In fact, they were difficult. But, we learned that joy is not dependent on our environment. Joy cannot be decreased, taken away, or even given by others. God is joy. 

In 2014, God offered me the word courage. This one scared the you-know-what out of me. I had no idea what magnitude of courage would be required for this particular year. As my devotion to God grew, I discovered that when given much, much is expected in return. Jesus reached out and asked me to be courageous in what He had impressed upon me during the painful years of Marc’s revelation about his addiction. Now, this particular year of 2014, the Holy Spirit showed me that my purpose was going to be revealed and courage would be required. Hurt. Heal. Help. I would need a limitless supply of courage to go against the grain of societal expectations. I was past the hurt. I was through the healing. Now, it was time to help. I was being called to step out of the boat. In 2014, I spent many late nights writing. Writing and revising. Revising and editing. I would sit in my office until 1:00 am or later, typing and crying, getting my story out. I needed the courage to relive the unthinkable. Courage to share the private pieces of my life. Courage to ignore the thoughts that I was not a skilled enough writer. Courage to ignore the opinions of others that I was must be crazy to be this vulnerable. With each passing month, I saw the fruit of all this godly courage.

Obedience. This past year opened with another tough word. I wondered what 2015 would bring. I speculated about what God was going to ask me to do. In March 2015, my book, “Clay Jar Cracked” was published. I thought that was the key to how obedience was going to frame the year. I was obedient in the writing. Obedient in the financial cost. Obedient in sharing my story with others. I learned that obedience is courage in action based on faith and a love for my Savior that surpasses all. We can feel courageous inside, but obedience is what is poured out for others to witness. Yet, God knew my year of obedience wasn’t finished yet. In October, God started to reveal more of how I might be obedient to His call. A couple of weeks before Christmas, I resigned from my absolutely wonderful job. My last day will be in mid-January. I love serving people near and far and sharing in the mission of an organization that is bent on loving others. However, God was calling me to pursue other things. Marriage mentoring. Writing. Speaking. I was saying no to my crazy-amazing job and yes to a path that God was revealing only one paver at a time. It was scary. It was the unknown. But, if I was going to be obedient to my God, I knew it must be in all things, not just the easy things. God restored my marriage and this past year, He opened some downright unexpected doors related to serving others in marriage ministry. He is giving me an opportunity to trust Him and go on yet another amazing journey. There is nothing more thrilling and gratifying than living the life God has created you to live. But, it takes hardcore obedience. I’m all in. 

Look at my words. The order. Their meanings. The story. They paint a picture of a wildly adoring God who will stop at nothing to ensure good things for those who love Him. 

This new year, my word is reflect. It’s the verb. I prayed hard about this one. God is not giving me a destination or state (of reflection); God wants the active tense – reflect. God is asking me to reflect on all that He’s done. He is pursuing me so that I might pursue Him. I have a secret desire. I am not going to share it (it’s between God and me), but it will require me to reflect. It will require quiet times, solitude, and prayer. I plan to reflect on His character, all that He has provided, and draw close to Him as He draws close to me. I will reflect on who I am, why I'm here, what my goals are, and where I came from.  I hope to really get to KNOW Jesus this year. Watchfulness. Expectancy. Intimacy.  

I have intentionally pursued my words each year, taking them seriously, and keeping them alive in my daily life. As my mini reward, God seemed to say to me, “Look back and see how they are writing a beautiful story of your life.” It’s one where God can be seen working out the details through His love and grace. I am so very grateful and humbled. 

What if you prayed for annual words from God? And, down the road, you looked back at them and saw the script of your own beautiful story. What would the words reveal about how God has led you, fed you, healed you, and asked you to reach and love others? Wouldn’t you want to gaze at the beauty of His workmanship? After all, it's the story of your life.

Prayer: Father God, thank You for your grace. I can’t help but fall to my knees as I look back and see how the words You gave me for each of the past five years have influenced my decisions and placed me in a position to know You better. To love You better. To serve You better. I am simply humbled. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by my prayer life, my book “Clay Jar Cracked”, Luke 12:48, Matthew 16:24-25, Romans 8:28, Acts 26:16, the song “My Story” by Big Daddy Weave, and the book “Interrupted” by Jen Hatmaker

©2015 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, "Clay Jar Cracked," is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. 

A Christmas Season Revelation By Cortney Donelson

Photo Cred - Unknown

Our plans are carefully crafted, sometimes developed months or years in advance. We research them, discuss them, write them down, turn them into resolutions or life goals, and sacrifice much time and resources to guarantee they happen. Our plans are like pretty packages wrapped with ornate paper and embellished with ribbon and bows. They have been meticulously thought out. Like careful and intentional gifts, they’ve been placed under the tree, beneath the lights and ornaments, shining in their wrappers. Our plans have nicknames such as dreams, hopes, and pursuits. Our plans have plans!

When the time comes to unwrap our precisely planned plans, something inevitably happens. The beautiful wrapping paper and bows fall away. We lift the lids. What we find surprises us. Then, our surprise turns to heartache. Inside our packaged plans, we find disappointment. We find loss, pain, and hurt. We find wasted time, financial stress, and greed. Some of our plans are stale. They are downright boring. Some come late. Others are too early. Most of the plans hold no weight and meet no purpose. Our plans end up looking small, despite the grand packaging. Fear and worry have taken up real estate in the box too. Regret pokes his head out last and smiles at us. 

We are undoubtedly confused. How did these ornately crafted and carefully wrapped plans end up so … insignificant? So … boring? How do these plans leave us feeling unfulfilled? We worked hard to ensure that our plans would be great. They were supposed to make us happy. They were supposed to make us feel important. They were supposed take us places. They had seemed so good!

Then, we see another box under the tree. It is wrapped with simple brown paper. It possesses no colorful ribbon or bows. From the outside, this gift seems unappealing and useless. First impressions would likely cause most people to neglect it until perhaps the end of the unwrapping chaos of Christmas morning. As we look at it, we discover a small split in the brown paper.  We stare at the tear, still reeling from the disappointment of our own plans, and a light starts to shine from the hole in the brown paper… 

The light gets brighter and we look at the tag. It’s a gift from our Father. We start to unwrap the brown paper. We remove one layer after another, and as we do, the light shines brighter and further, illuminating the whole room. We take the lid off this box, curious. We gasp in awe.

Inside this simply wrapped gift, we find His plans. They are filled with love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy. That’s not all. These plans scream adventure. His plans are overflowing with purpose. We feel the weight of significance, and we keep unpacking the contents of the box. We find contentment. We find goodness. We find patience. We find all the things we need today and for every day there after… Wisdom… Hope… Joy! The gifts are unending, and they come in His perfect timing. The light shines brighter and brighter, until we no longer see our box of plans. We only see His. 

We only want His.

This Christmas season, I encourage you to spend some time taking a look back. Think about all of your carefully laid out plans through the years. What were they? How did they unfold? What transpired? Then, consider His plans. When you set aside your elaborate plans, pushed through the fear of the unknown, and followed Him, what adventures did you find? What purpose did you discover? How has your life changed? I’m convinced you’ll celebrate Christmas differently if you spend a few minutes and write it all out.

My Plans – Graduate with a Masters degree in Physical Therapy and make a more than comfortable living, watching the clock each day and working for the weekend

His Plans – Set aside my PT career and find explosive purpose and joy in serving the least of these in Haiti for two years and then again in writing and speaking about the story God is writing through my life

My Plans – Hoard financial security, saving relentlessly out of fear and greed, for a future I can’t see … or worse, buying material things (the bigger house, the nicer car, etc.) that don’t fill that deep place in my heart that feels empty

His Plans – Tithe, trusting Him with every piece of my life, including the financial piece and watching Him provide time and time again, strengthening my relationship with Him through trust. Give, generously and anonymously, loving others in their time of need and making a difference for God’s Kingdom

My Plans – Give birth

His Plans – Adopt two children who remind me every day what love really means

My Plans – Marry a man who will do no wrong and never hurt me, a man I can put on a pedestal and prioritize above all else

His Plans – Marry a man who will teach me about courage, faith, forgiveness, humility, sacrifice, meekness, love, and mercy, and remind me that Jesus is first and foremost above all else

My Plans – Live out the institution of marriage

His Plans – Believe in and live out the relationship of marriage

My Plans – Write fiction … or more likely, not at all

His Plans – Write a hybrid devotional/biography that will change the trajectory of marriages in crisis and encourage people in the midst of tragedy

My Plans – Live a safe, comfortable, prosperous life along the lines of the American dream and perhaps retire early, wondering what the point is

His Plans – Live a risk-filled, hope-filled, adventurous, meaningful, impactful life filled with authenticity, vulnerability, and purpose that leaves me longing for eternity with Him

Prayer: Father God, I am helplessly grateful that You are always good and always loving. I trust you with everything, even when those things seem bad or hard. I trust You because You are trustworthy. I pray that You would bless me in ways I don’t know I even need, showing me Your plans and Your purposes for me. Shine Your light on the path You want me to travel. I will do my best to walk in it. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by my prayer life, 1 Peter 4:10, James 1:17, Jeremiah 29:11, and Ephesians 2:8

©2015 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, "Clay Jar Cracked," is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions.  

In His Humanity By Cortney Donelson

Photo Source: www.gurusfeet.com

Jesus was fully God. 

He was also fully human. 

This Christmas season, perhaps I can grasp (again) what this means for my life… 

Jesus left the comfort of His home to be with us. Immanuel. God with us. He did not put His title of King of kings or Lord of lords on the shelf as He entered our world as a newborn infant. Despite His needs, His lowliness, and His new position, He did not stop being God. Clothing himself in flesh did not erase who He was and is … the Messiah. 

On the flip side, He did not act out His divinity when He arrived. He did not come wearing purple robes or with a silver spoon in His mouth. He came to serve. He did not dip into His godliness in order to live with and teach us. I know all this intellectually, maybe even emotionally. But, can I truly understand what this means for me spiritually?

Sometimes I read about Jesus’ life and the miracles He performed and think they were done because of His divine power. Raising the dead, healing the sick, walking on water. More often than not, I imagine what the disciples must have felt as they walked and learned alongside the Almighty. (I’m actually quite envious.) And, maybe I should read the miracles through those lenses. But, perhaps I am failing to read these stories as Jesus intended, as templates of the miracles I could be part of, if I would just do a couple of things differently. 

What if Jesus’ miracles were not performed out of His divinity, but in His humanity? What if Jesus was showing us how to balance work (serving), rest, and prayer in a way that brought us so intimately close to our Heavenly Father that His power would then work through us to do His will (His miracles)? In the middle of some of His busiest times when people seemed to need Him the most, Jesus left to be alone with His Father. What if we left for a bit every day to be alone with the Father as Jesus did? What if every minute of every day was experienced with God? What if we could get so relationally close to God that we became the vessels that He used to raise the dead, heal the sick, or even walk on water? 

The evidence of this possibility is found with Peter. Peter was human. He doubted. He denied. He worried. He battled with pride. He also raised the dead, healed the sick, and for a moment, walked on water. Was Peter more special than you or me? I don’t think so. I think his relationship with God became so intimate, that God’s power in the form of the Holy Spirit coursed through him. Peter made Jesus’ faith his own faith. We can too. God’s Kingdom, with all its power, works through the communication found within a network of extremely personal relationships. Relationships between God and us. 

Recently, I have read a few books that have shed “light” on Jesus’ life here on earth and what it means for mine. William Paul Young writes, “A bird is defined not by being grounded but by his ability to fly. Remember this, humans are defined not by their limitations, but by the intentions God has for them; not by what they seem to be, but by everything it means to be created in God’s image.” 

We are not defined by our sin, circumstances, or choices. We are defined by the purposes God has for us. We were made for intimacy with God, through Jesus Christ. When we reach such a level of relationship with Him, miracles happen despite our humanity. I’m now convinced that these miracles happen because of our humanity! Dallas Willard says it this way, “The spiritually born exhibit a life deriving from an invisible spiritual realm and its powers.” 

When I was moving through the most difficult time of my life, my intimacy with God grew immensely. He was all I had left. When I leaned on Him and embraced His love and the relationship He desired to have with me, miracles happened. An unlikely restoration of my marriage. A peace I can’t explain. Courage and boldness that I never knew. People often tell me that they could not do what I did – to stick it out in the face of the circumstances in which I found myself. Please stop! It is not I who should be hailed a hero for anything. It is the Spirit of God who guided and prompted me as I drew closer to the only One who can save anything or anyone. 

Jesus was fully God. Jesus was fully human. It was in His humanity that He performed miracles. It was through His intimacy with the Father that the miracles occurred. Same for Peter. Same for you. Same for me. 

Prayer: Father God, we celebrate Immanuel! Thank You for coming to earth as you did and for Jesus, who has shown us the way. I pray this Christmas season, that I draw close to You, feeling, tasting, experiencing Your love for me in ways that produce miracles. I pray that no one believes their power comes from themselves, but acknowledges You always. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by “Hearing God” by Dallas Willard, “4 Chair Discipling” by Dann Spader, “The Shack” by William Paul Young, all four Gospels of the Bible, 2 Corinthians 4, and my prayer life. 

©2015 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, "Clay Jar Cracked," is now available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. 

Spectator of the World By Cortney Donelson

Source: Dailyspectator.com

Do you ever experience moments when words or phrases jump out at you? You read something, or someone says something, and you just know that God is trying to get your attention? I don’t think that happens to only me. I would bet my chocolate bars that it happens all the time and to all of us. Perhaps the better question is, “What happens when we actually stop and reflect on what God is saying to us?” 

The pastor at my church often poses two questions that have now become a daily mantra in our household: “What is God telling you?” and “What are you going to do about it?”

This morning, I was participating in a prayer meeting at my son’s school. It’s a small, private, Christian school that has truly answered so many of our prayers that I could cry just thinking about it. The facilitator read from Ann Voskamp’s book, “The Greatest Gift.” Can I just tell you that I adore Ann Voskamp! No, I have never met her, but I feel like I know her! I led a bible study based on her book, “One Thousand Gifts,” and I fell in love with her deep affection for reflection. 

So, as I listened to the excerpt this morning, a seemingly simple four-word phrase moved me so strongly that I took my pen and wrote it down on my prayer card. As I wrote, God started unloading on my heart. I heard most of the remaining excerpt read out loud, but I was also listening to God as He held my hand and encouraged me to start writing devotions again. This four-word phrase was to be the next title. And, the content flooded my mind as I sat in that prayer room. 

Spectator of the world. Ann Voskamp was encouraging the readers to take in all the beauty and majesty of the Creator each and every day. To soak in His love through what is around us. And, it was an amazing message … one that moved a couple ladies to tears. 

However, God was telling me that my next devotion was about how I needed to get back to being a spectator of the world. I have been spending so much time trying to be PART OF the world, CONTROL the world, and be important TO the world, that I’m missing the very crucial fact that I am NOT OF this world. None of us are! God created us to be spectators of this place as we move through this part of history – on our way to our true home in the Kingdom of Heaven. The world is simply a rest stop. He placed us here for a mission. A holy purpose. And, that purpose, my dear friends, is not to get lost in this fallen place, striving for earthly perfection, human praise, or society’s accolades.  

I have not been resting or spectating much lately. These past six (or twenty!) months, I have lost myself in the busyness of this world. I have rushed. I have stressed. I have worried. I have controlled. Not good! God impressed upon me this past week that He is saying, enough, my sweet child. I have not called you to become part of this chaotic world. I have called you to enter it, reflect on it, discern what you see, write about it as I lead you, and to be a simple spectator so that you might hear me clearly so that you might lead others to me too. Spectators start by watching and listening. They still feel! They feel compassion, elation, disappointment, and joy, just as the disciples did. Those emotions then create the right action plan. Spectators cheer when things go well (like when the Great Commandment reigns). They cry when things don’t. They build up others – always!

I need to get back to being a spectator, rather than a player, of this world. I must remain in love with God. I was designed for a greater place and purpose than what "here" offers. He reminded me that I was too busy joining the world that I was losing sight of Him and His world.  If I don’t sit back, reflect, listen, hear, abide, and watch what He is doing around me – what He is doing in the Kingdom of God - I will miss the whole thing. 

Dang. I don’t want that! 

Prayer: Father God, forgive me! I have been so busy being a player of the world that I’ve lost my way. I’ve been trying to be and do all things that matter to this world but not to You. Teach me to rest in You, find peace in You, and guide me to see You all around me. Jesus showed us how to manage the best life rhythm – going off on His own to spend time with You and hear You – sometimes in His busiest moments. Teach me to shake off worldly expectations and discern the true purpose You have for me. I’m ready. Thank you for Your grace which flows relentlessly. I need every bit of it. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by 1 John 2, Romans 12:2, James 4:4, Colossians 2:8, Matthew 6:24, 1 John 3:13

©2015 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, "Clay Jar Cracked," is now available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions.