My Mentor is a Maniac ... and Yours Should Be Too By Cortney Donelson

Photo Cred: www.seepeopleproject.com

“Sometimes all it takes is twenty seconds of insane courage.”

“Everybody needs somebody who believes in them more than they themselves do.”

Mark Batterson, in his book “If: Trading Your If Only Regrets for God’s What If Possibilities,” included both of these statements on his quest to convince his readers that all that stands between them and their God-given and adventure-filled purpose is “one little if.” I can’t get these two statements out of my head. When paired together, they summarize the wisdom I have discovered through my growing relationship with my mentor. 

I started praying for a spiritual and professional mentor many years ago. When I worked as a physical therapist, I would not only examine my older population of patients to determine their ailments, but I would assess them to see if just maybe God had just introduced me to the mentor I had been waiting so long to meet. No one ever seemed to fit the mold, the one I had so strategically created in my head. I imagined a confident, profound, hilarious, and witty older woman, with a head topped with perfectly groomed gray hair, and eyes full of wisdom. I guess you could say I was waiting for Betty White. 

As it turns out, I was halfway to correct. The mentor God deployed (with just the right timing by they way) is witty. She is clever, intelligent, and intentional. Her confidence is contagious, but not as catchy as her sidesplitting sarcasm. Her deeply rooted faith is seemingly unstoppable. But, God didn’t bring me a Betty White. He introduced me to someone better. She’s only a couple of years older than me, but she is one of those somebodies who believes in me more than I myself do. And, that matters more. 

She doesn’t have gray hair or a wrinkled face. She has a bold faith that stretches my own. My mentor challenges me in a way that makes me think ideas might well have been mine – even though they certainly weren’t. God has spoken through her in ways she likely does not even know. My mentor networks for me, speaks highly of me in others’ presence, and encourages me when my confidence seems to deflate. She begs me (in her own special way) to believe in myself and inspires me to use that twenty seconds of insane courage to step outside my comfort zone to simply touch the plan God has for me. For when I do reach out to God, He not only grabs hold of me, but He also lifts me up higher than I ever thought possible. 

My mentor is a psychotherapist by profession. I laugh and say there’s more pyscho than therapist. But, perhaps that’s what this play-by-the-rules-but-really-a-rebel-at-heart needed. God knew she would remind me that laughter is good, even when it’s about difficult things. A sense of humor is required to expose the joy God hid in the hard parts of life. It’s a joy worth fighting for. Because of her, I understand I don’t have to shelter my innate absurdity and pleasure in order to talk about my trials and speak well about the serious stories I have to share.   

There are so many more chunks of wisdom that she has imparted to me. Here are a few quick bulleted items, because that is what I do ... make lists. 

• Sometimes anger is not a strong enough word, and that’s okay.
• If the fear of being prideful stops me from doing something God ordained, I’m being prideful. 
• “Me” is important and is a daughter of the Almighty. Self is selfish and should be avoided (except for self-care, that one is critical).
• If you’re going to “undo” people with your story, you better zip them back up before they leave. (This sounds much more like Betty White now that I’m writing it.) 
• We are in the struggle; we are not the struggle.
• You may think that what you have to share is not worthy or even new. You may think someone else can easily teach the same messages. The truth is, everyone has something to teach or share. But, not everyone is doing it. You were the one called to share it.  

Yes, my mentor is a maniac. I thank God for her every day. 

I hope those whom I have mentored think of me as a little crazy too. Insane even. The Bible implores us to be courageous, to fear not. As long as we stay on the right side of foolishness, we can always trust that God will lift us up to new heights and new adventures – all for His glory. 

My goal is to convince those I may mentor in the future to jump into those twenty seconds of insanity. I’d love to assure them through my own choices and actions that 1) it’s worth it and 2) their relationship with God will never be the same. My hope is that they know without a hint of doubt that I believe in them more than they might believe in themselves.  

Who’s your maniac? 

Prayer: Father God, I don’t know why I doubted Your plan and Your timing all these years. Thank You for my mentor. Thank You for those who I have mentored. I pray we are all crazy in love with You and follow You to the ends of the earth. I am deeply grateful to have so many people who believe in me more than I do. Light Your way for me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 9:9, Psalm 145:4, Psalm 71:18, 2 Timothy 2:2, Proverbs 13:20, and the remaining 40+ Bible verses related to mentoring others. 

For Fun (Because sometimes you have to fight for joy):

These quotes are either from my mentor (Kim Honeycutt) or Betty White. You decide!

1. I may be a senior, but so what? I'm still hot. 
2. Spit out your gum, or I’ll punch you in the throat.
3. My mother always used to say, “The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana.”
4. Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep. Nine if you're ugly.
5. (Rather than move to Canada after this Presidential race) I’m moving to _______ (fill in city). That way I can get hooked on Xanax, use a bottle of Aqua Net on my big hair everyday, and get my dose of Lithium just by drinking the city water.
6. I like double entendre because then the people who get it enjoy it, and the people who don't get it don't know about it. 
7. I really don’t know why I am so crazy. Maybe it was the conversation I had with my mother this morning about when I ran away to Tennessee that evoked a deeper crazy in me.
8. My dear friends, my favorite color is pink. When I pass, I expect all cities to be decorated in pink. And it would mean a lot to me if all stores ran out of Kleenex because people couldn't stop crying. Oh and I would like you all to have bruised chests from repetitiously tapping your heart three times since that is my symbol. I hope that gives everyone clarity.

Answer Key:

By Kim: 2, 5, 7, 8

By Betty: 1, 3, 4, 6

©2012-2016 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar Cracked, is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and includes print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions until June 15, 2016. Look for an updated version under New York publisher Morgan James, to be publicly released March 7, 2017 (pre-orders for September 2016 delivery available in July)! Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly. 

Animating the Hope of Heaven By Cortney Donelson

Photo Cred: www.filmmakingstuff.com

My son animates toys and other props to create stories. His Lego pieces, cameras, computer software, costumes, and a healthy dose of patience come together to create realistic scenes showcasing his creativity and imagination. It’s amazing. 

When we animate something, we bring it to life. We give it breath. We give it teeth. Just as our soul animates our bodies, as believers, we have the opportunity – the obligation even – to bring to life the hope of Heaven and the promise of an eternity with God. There are so many who need to experience this hope, and we are the vessels charged with pouring out the Spirit’s breath. 

It’s the ultimate animation mission. Those who know about Christ but choose not to know Christ likely don’t believe or understand the weight or consequences of that spiritual choice. To know about Him and to know Him are two distinctly different relationships. The first is simply recognition. The other results in salvation. When we animate the hope of Heaven for others, it means we bridge the gap for those living apart from the Holy Spirit and highlight all the reasons they should choose to start an intimate relationship with God through Christ.

So, how do we do this? How do we fulfill this Great Commission? We live out the story of our salvation. Just as my son animates his stories through the use of figurines and technology, we are to animate God’s redemptive story through our words, actions, and choices. Our convictions and values must match our behaviors and priorities. Otherwise, the story falls apart. Authenticity is realized when what’s on the inside matches what we show on the outside. It’s when our soul and spirit pair with our actions in harmony. 

All too often I watch those who label themselves as Christians choose words, reactions, and activities that go against the biblical principles they say they support. When that happens, both the story of Christ’s relentless love and the mission of reaching unbelievers fall apart. We cannot animate the hope of Heaven when we say we know Christ and then act in direct opposition to His very truths and lessons. I’ve seen moms meet for gossip over coffee. There are fathers who neglect their families for their jobs. This weekend, church will be replaced by sporting events for many families. Serving opportunities have become synonymous with chores. The old-fashioned chores have become responsibilities to complain about. Materialism has replaced faith as life’s main pursuit. The promise of quick and easy success has outshone God’s promise of the hard and narrow road that will lead to our divine purposes.

I am not pointing fingers. I am far from perfect. Try as I do, my breath and teeth hold more anger and bite than I’d like. I have caught myself longing for more worldly treasures on too many occasions. I’ve played the comparison game. The difference is that I am convicted when I do so. I choose to stop and try again. In essence, I submit to the Spirit within me. I turn the other way and go a different direction that more closely matches Christ’s priorities and choices. I believe that my repentance and the obvious shift in my outward behavior plays a leading role in animating the hope of Heaven, for when others see my efforts to change and be authentic, they are appreciative. This isn’t about hypocrisy. It’s about mulligans ... do-overs. It’s about sharing our imperfect stories, our mistakes, and our cracks in order to give God’s grace and forgiveness the teeth it needs to break through the hearts of those who simply know about Him. 

So, if you say you’re all in, that you want to be faithful, that you believe there’s a Kingdom of Heaven, and you trust in God’s promises and His Word, then maybe it’s time to ensure your inside beliefs and values match your external choices. And, when you mess up (we all do), share your story. Repent. Be real. Be honest. Animate your transformation.  Come alongside those who don’t yet realize the significance of what an intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father can do to change everything. Give the Spirit life and breath through you and your new choices.

It's time our convictions match our conduct. Let’s animate the hope of Heaven together. Cameras rolling. Background moving. Action...

Prayer: Holy Spirit, You are more than welcome here. Please fill us with every fruit of Yourself that will cause us to live in harmony with God and with authenticity. We pray for those who only know of You and don’t know You intimately. We pray that our words and choices would help point others to You. We pray we don’t straddle any societal fences in efforts to bring peace and happiness, but that we allow Jesus as the Prince of Peace to reign and bring true joy. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by Matthew 7:20, James 2:19, Revelation 3:15-16, James 2:10-12, 1 John 2:15-16, my prayer life, my involvement with icuTalks, Inc, and my own story.

©2012-2016 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar Cracked, is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and includes print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions until June 15, 2016. Look for an updated version under New York publisher Morgan James, to be publicly released March 7, 2017 (pre-orders for September 2016 delivery available in June)! Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly. 

The Forgotten Fruits By Cortney Donelson

Photo Cred: Unknown

Charles Spurgeon, a gifted preacher and writer, defined humility as “(making) a right estimate of one’s self.” I appreciate this definition as it allows us to acknowledge our faults and weaknesses while simultaneously lifting our gifts, talents, and successes in praise to the One who gave them to us. This definition also correlates well with my life verse, 2 Corinthians 4:7-9. “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” We might have power, but it’s not ours to claim.  

Raised by well-intentioned parents to “look out for number one,” I have struggled with bouts of pride throughout my life. I’m not placing blame on them. I was the one who strove for perfectionism. I was the one who desperately tried to color in the lines and hide the mistakes – the times when my crayon crossed the margin. I built my competitive nature upon the rock of pride. However, I have learned that when I look out for myself, I’m not looking up to God. I must be high-maintenance. For when I am the most important person in my own life, I become so consumed that I can’t even see how I might use my gifts and passions to serve others! The first shall be last...

This has been a life-long and episodic battle where seasons of quiet arrogance are repeatedly replaced with periods of humility. I imagine I am not alone in this battle. I find pride rears its ugly horns when things are going quite well for me in my own little world. Soon enough, difficulties and trials arise, and I realize I have lost control. In those hard and dark places, I bend my knees, curl into a lowly ball, and relent to God’s sovereignty. I remember that I need God just as much as I need the air I breathe. That is precisely when pride gives way to humility. And, not surprisingly, all becomes well again. Humility. The right estimate of myself.

Sometimes, when I am in the middle of my pride-battle, I turn to Scripture to help me fight this particular demon. During one of my recent quiet times, I found myself reading about the fruits of the Spirit. At once, a question crept into my heart’s mind. Why isn’t humility included in the list of the fruits of the Spirit? I found that the more I reflected on it, the more I became intrigued by the answer God was revealing.

The Fruit of the Holy Spirit is a biblical term that sums up nine attributes of the Christian life according to Paul in the Book of Galatians. These are the characteristics of Himself that God wishes to use to mold and shape us with the purpose of transforming us into a more holy people. According to the passage in Galatians, the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience (longsuffering), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness (meekness), and self-control. When lived out with guidance from the Holy Spirit, these qualities surpass any level of wellbeing we can achieve on our own. How we live in accordance to these attributes tells us much about our relational and spiritual health.

I really like this list. I often use it for self-assessment. My Bible bears the evidence of these spiritual tests. I’ve written plusses and minuses with dates next to each fruit that reveal my growth – and also my backward steps – in these nine areas over the last 20 years. Sometimes, I am living out the fruits of say ... love and gentleness well. Sometimes, I am not.

But, where is humility? If self-control and patience were included, I would have thought humility could have rounded out a pretty awesome top ten list!

I began my quest to find out more. There was not a whole lot to explore. Some people lump humility in with gentleness. Others include it with self-control. One pastor mentioned that he believes the Holy Spirit won’t even enter us at all if we don’t commit ourselves to some measure of humbleness. After all, dying to ourselves and picking up the cross to follow Jesus sums up humility. I get that. Yet, Scripture also reminds us to do these periodic self-checks. There is a reason...

James 4:10 states, “Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord and He will exalt you.” Philippians 2:3 reads, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Humility is not a static personality trait. It’s a fluid attribute that can come and go (just like peace and patience), most likely depending on one’s current position or circumstances. We need reminders to choose humility time after time.

The Lord spoke to me the most through Colossians 3:12 which states, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians offers a partial list of the famous “fruits” with two more attributes embedded within: compassion and humility.

Perhaps the list in Galatians is not exhaustive. Perhaps, it’s just the beginning. When we consider all of the characteristics that Christ modeled for us throughout his three years of ministry and add them to the way the Apostles described Him, we are able to get a grand picture of what a person fully living in the Spirit might be: 

• Compassionate
• Humble
• Kind
• Patient
• Loving
• Gentle (Meek)
• Peaceful
• Joy-filled
• Forgiving
• Servant-Hearted
• Self-Controlled
• Faithful
• Good
• Charitable
• Honest
• Confident
• Passionate
• Wise

This. This is what I’m after – the whole of the Spirit. I want to live out the famous “fruits” and the “forgotten” ones.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, thank You for revealing Yourself through these fruits. I am in awe of how much I grow and learn to trust You when I do life alongside You and live each of them out through Your power. Please forgive me when I close off or ignore Your voice and direction in these areas. Show me where I am weak so that You can make me strong. Holy Spirit, reveal to me more about humility. Will You share with me and teach me about how it might relate to a more godly life? In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

©2012-2016 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar Cracked, is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and includes print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. Look for a new version under New York publisher Morgan James, to be released Fall 2016! Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly.