The Divorcing Series: Justice By Cortney Donelson

Photo Cred: Unknown

Even at birth, I was an organized, inflexible, and strong-willed girl. My first cry graced the delivery room on my mom’s due date, which was also my parent’s third anniversary. It seemed I was born to follow the rules.

I prioritized the ideal of justice far above most other moralities. For me, fair treatment, unprejudiced consequences, righteousness, and conformity to laws and truth far outweighed my ability to feel compassion and show love. Looking back, I feel sadness for that little girl. I don’t know what made her that way – so unbalanced on the side of rightness with no mercy or forgiveness to hold it in check. Perhaps it was the relational pain and broken friendships I experienced growing up that caused me to falsely believe no one could – or should – be truly compassionate. Maybe it was how my innate personality dictated a desire to color inside the lines, follow the directions, and ignore the shades of gray – the parts of life where empathy lives. 

Now I’m older, likely still stubborn, and most definitely iron-willed, but I have also added experience and wisdom to the ingredients of what makes me “me.” In addition, God extended His Spirit to me. That’s a game changer. Holy love lives in me now. 

So, when my husband revealed his secret double life to me five years ago, justice in my adolescent mind would have been along the lines of separation, divorce, revenge, his experiencing financial hardship, and finally the complete loss of his family. In the past, I had firmly believed in swift and logical consequences for such poor choices and wounding behaviors. I had been conditioned to look out for self and self certainly deserved better. 

While the Old Testament Scriptures promote justice as an “eye for an eye,” Jesus came down duty-bound, intentionally changing how we think about things. His ideals and messages turned much of the traditional laws and religious expectations of the day on their backsides. In fact, Jesus’ appreciation of justice teaches us to turn the other cheek. Give away our cloaks. Love our enemies. The final crescendo for this new kind of justice march was the death of God’s son on a cross. 

As we look at this peculiar kind of justice where a perfect Christ dies for the guilty, one thing seems abundantly clear: justice means making things right again. Its mission is to restore broken relationships. The cross is the proof. Justice repairs our relationship with God and makes worship of Him genuine and meaningful. 

With this new understanding of justice, we can look through the Lord’s eyes to view any societal circumstance too. Jesus modeled this for us throughout His life, so it doesn’t have to be difficult. Look for what’s wrong and figure out how to make it right. Right in the God-fearing, God-honoring sense, not in how we think of right. No chastisement. No revenge. No hatred. Simply acting in love to fight for a justice that’s as basic as redemption. 

When my husband revealed the wrongs he had done, I made a decision to lean on God and do what I could to help make it right. I fought for the marriage I wanted, the marriage I know God had envisioned for us rather than sitting in the bitter chaos of the broken marriage that had been revealed. God’s idea of justice was a marriage repaired through grace and obedience, not divorce out of expectation. Not revenge. Not lasting anger. I didn’t do this alone. My husband’s heart change strengthened by ability to let go of my worldly view of justice. 

God would say justice is forgiveness.

God would say justice is generosity.

God would say justice is love and kindness to the broken, hurting, and vulnerable.

God says justice is when the enemy loses and all his plans fail in the face of Christ on the cross.

Finally, God says that justice is His to handle, not for us to enforce.

God revealed to me ... justice is not divorcing your husband. It’s divorcing your idea of what justice is and allowing me to show you an eternal justice that eclipses your plan of living your one and only life as a victim.

Prayer: Father God, thank You for the fresh perspectives Jesus brought to help us view the world through Your eyes. Thank You for clear instructions on how to model justice and the other ideals that You hold dear. I pray we continue to look to you for direction and not to any worldly views, as they are as changing as the seasons. But You, oh God, never change. You have been and always will be just AND merciful, righteous AND loving. For that we are equally grateful.  In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by my prayer life, my marriage story, Zechariah 7:9, Psalm 33:5, Matthew 5:44-45, Isaiah 61:8, Romans 12:8 and 12:19, and Micah 6:8. 

©2012-2016 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar, Cracked: When We're Broken But Not Shattered will be available for purchase this fall directly from the author. It will be available world-wide in bookstores and libraries through Morgan James Publishing when publicly released on March 7, 2017. Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information and to learn about the "I'm a Clay Jar" Encourager Class for groups! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly. 

The Divorcing Series: Materialism By Cortney Donelson

Photo Cred: Unknown

Last summer while I was in Haiti, someone I greatly respect said something that struck my heart with such force that I still think about it regularly. The mission team members I was traveling with were discussing how vastly voodoo permeates the nation of Haiti, despite it’s overtly Christian culture. As an example, many Christ-followers in Haiti still believe illness and disease can be caused by curses. One woman on our team said something to the effect of, “I don’t understand. They believe in Christ as their Savior and pray daily. Their faith is apparent, perhaps stronger than ours in some cases. But, the traditions and myths of voodoo still saturate their lives.” The ministry founder we were meeting with replied in a beat. When he did, his words stopped us all in our narrowly minded tracks. 

“They would say the same thing about Americans. But, instead of voodoo, they’d be talking about materialism.” 

CLOBBERED

Conviction was immediate for many of us. Just as the philosophy and myths of voodoo invade the Christian households in Haiti and hold people ransom through fear, materialism runs rampant in our American culture, effectively holding our hearts and thoughts ransom while rendering us spiritually diminished. 

Materialism is the tendency to think material objects are more important than people. We could also insert "consumerism" into the story. Consider the “American Dream.” It’s our social ideal that stresses the importance of material prosperity as a priority for living the good life. This “dream” conveys to us that hard work is one of the only ways to achieve this good life, and alternately, the good life can only be achieved when we secure wealth and property. The American Dream distorts the definition of necessity and convinces us the change is okay.

As Christians, we read the Lord’s warning that it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enjoy the Kingdom of God. However, we tend to gloss over that part of Scripture and point to others’ wealth as more dangerous than our own. The median household income across 131 countries is $9,733 per year according to a worldwide Gallup poll. In fact, if you earn at least $32,400 per year, you’ve made the cut into the realm of the wealthy. You are in the top 1% of the world’s income earners. We are the rich men and women Jesus was talking about after he spoke to the wealthy man unwilling to give everything he had to the poor in order to follow Him. Money itself isn’t the problem ... and yet it is. Jesus was clear. We can’t love both. As with any relationship, one will take up more space in our hearts, effectively pushing the other out.

As the mission team sat around that table and considered the comparison this ministry leader had made between materialism and voodoo, the level of conviction I felt shocked me. It was a clear case of our judging others while 2x4 planks were sticking out of our own eyes. Those 2x4s had been preventing us from seeing our own fragile condition – the one where an idol we had not been aware of five minutes beforehand had just materialized (no pun intended). Our possessions. Our desire for material success. Our homes. The things with which we fill our homes. Our vehicles. Our dozens of pairs of shoes. Our hairdryers. Our makeup. Our designer handbags. Our children’s summer camps.  Our private schools. Our coat closets filled with options for every kind of weather. Our pantries and refrigerators stocked with food going bad. Our drive through car washes and coffee shops. Our lawn care services. Our kitchen and bath renovations. Our big screen TVs and our annual smart phone upgrades. All of our “keeping up with the Jones’s” was laid bare on that long, wooden dining table in that Haitian Guest House. 

Are we so acclimated to our own wealthy culture that we don’t see the grip materialism has on our hearts and souls? If Jesus asked us to give everything up, are we so far into the darkness where are hoarded possessions lay that we would say no? It’s a scary thought. It should be. We take so much for granted. 

Others peering into the American Dream see a culture of people willing to replace toys, electronics, cars, and homes on a whim, run water while brushing our teeth or washing our cars without batting an eye, and a culture that by relative comparison, gives little financial support to either the church or those in need. HealthResearchFunding.org reports that for American Christian families making less than $20,000 per year, 8% of them gave at least a 10% tithe. For Christian families making a minimum of $75,000 per year or more, the figure drops to just 1%. One percent! In fact, 37% of Americans who attend church every week and identify themselves as Evangelical don’t give any money to their church at all, let alone a tithe.

Yet, it goes deeper than mere statistics and financial commitments. The question I have been asking myself ever since that morning last summer in Haiti is this: What is the relentless pursuit of my heart? 

What is in the forefront of my mind? What are my short term and long term goals? Is it the next purchase I will make? The next upgrade? The next house project or even the next level of financial security? Do I focus on (can I say worry?) about my prayer life and my relationship with the Lord, or do I worry about paying the bills, saving for the kids’ colleges, and purchasing new window treatments for my bedroom so that “they match the rest of the room I just redecorated.” (I’d like to crawl into a hole right now.)

My desire is that God, His will, His love, and His glory are my relentless pursuits. Are my choices and actions reflective of that pursuit? Not always. Would those outside my culture see my choices and wonder how I could call myself a Christ-follower? Sometimes ... Probably too often. The Lord desires a cheerful giver. Am I cheerful? Am I generous? Lord, I pray so.

But, I must have proof. I cannot get this one wrong. I cannot allow Satan to blind my eyes with the plank of materialism again. The enemy is sneaky. Just as voodoo slithers through the Haitian landscape, materialism can snake it’s way through ours, silent yet deadly. When things matter more than people, we’re married to the wrong ideal. We're in bed with the wrong soul mate. We’ve been “had.” It's not that we shouldn't own anything. It's that nothing should own us. Only someone. Only Christ. 

My goal is to divorce materialism forever. With much blessing comes much responsibility. I don’t want to miss the Kingdom of God by getting stuck in the eye of the needle. 


Prayer: Father God, test our hearts in this area. Help us see our blind spots and when it comes to materialism, convict us when needed. For, it's You we seek and Your glory we want to pursue. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by Matthew 19:24, Luke 12:48, Ecclesiastes 5:10, Matthew 6:24, 1 Timothy 6:10, Matthew 7:1-5, Psalm 106:36, a discussion in a Haitian Guest House, and God's convicting love. 

©2012-2016 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar Cracked, is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and includes print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions until June 15, 2016. Look for an updated version under New York publisher Morgan James, to be publicly released March 7, 2017 (pre-orders for September 2016 delivery available in July)! Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly.