I Am Not ... Yet, I AM By Cortney Donelson

Exodus 31:1-3 (NIV)

Then the Lord said to Moses, ”See, I have chosen Bezalelson of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills”

I am not a writer.

In fact, if you ran into my high school English teachers and shared with them that I was writing devotionals and actually publicizing them, they would all faint – after first recovering from a good, long laugh.  

Yet here I am, typing out the words that seem to spill out of my head on a daily basis. They are words that I will sit with, pray over, and continually review and revise – all with an internal assurance that God has provided them to me for the purpose of sharing them. A lot of prayer goes into my devotionals. That is the only way I can write them. Remember, I am not a writer.

God called me to write many years ago. He put the desire deep into my heart where I kept it dormant, fearful that I didn’t have the skills to actually pull it off. I have started countless books over the years – most of them never made it past the initial outline or first chapter. A year ago, I did make it through a good part of one of book when I sensed the Lord telling me to think “smaller.” Smaller? Huh?

Smaller turned out to be shorter. Once I started my devotional journey, writing became easy and fun. It is inspiring for me. It fills that deep desire in my heart to do something for God. Writing is not something I could ever do apart from God. God filled me with this gift, and then unleashed it in His perfect timing.

Moses was not a public speaker, yet he led thousands.

Noah was not an architect or an engineer, yet he built a massive boat that withstood flooding rains.

Abraham and Sarah were not young, yet they became parents.

David was not fierce or strong, yet he conquered a giant warrior.

I am not a writer, yet I blog and publish my devotionals on a weekly basis to encourage others.

Exodus 31:1-3 says, Then the Lord said to Moses, ”See, I have chosen Bezalelson of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills.”

God handpicks us. He handpicked Bezalelson. He handpicked me. 

Each of us has been given a gift, a skill, and a desire. These are planted in our hearts by God. If we choose to grow them and ignore the fear or the whispers that we are not, then God will use those skills. God, the Great I AM, will use us. He will give us His power to do what we cannot do alone.

God has handpicked you too. What gift are you hiding in your heart? Are you harboring the skills to be a speaker, a teacher, a worshiper, a prayer warrior, or maybe a mentor for God’s Kingdom? Maybe you are one of God’s writers, but – as I used to do – you are writing in secret.

As we close out this year, it may be a good time to think about this. What are you not?

Prayer – God, thank You for the skills and desires You plant in our hearts. My prayer is that no gift goes unopened but that we allow You to be the I AM we are not. Remind us that You will strengthen us through Christ who lives within us. We love You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2012 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

Being Rooted - Part 2 By Cortney Donelson

I had a plan for “Deeply Rooted – Part 2.” However, after December 14’s school tragedy, it seemed important to exchange my plan and follow God’s promptings. This series is about fear, worry, and panic. The horrific events in Connecticut remind us that sometimes our worst fears do come to fruition – last Friday they did for 27 families. This week, I had difficulty deciding how to write something that would honor God, my “Deeply Rooted” devotional, and the hearts in pain from this outrageous act. How could I encourage us to run from fear when every parent’s worst nightmare had just become a reality? As I mourned and prayed for the families, for the first responders who witnessed the aftermath and communicated the news, and for our nation, this is what I sensed God asking me to share …

Romans 8:26-28, The Message
“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

When we are left with no words, as I was this past weekend, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. He will pray for us. How awesome and comforting is that? When I am left with nothing to say (or write) because my sorrow or pain is so great, and all I can do is sob, the Holy Spirit knows just what I need and asks on my behalf … then God answers. So with that in mind, here is my revised “Deeply Rooted – Part 2” devotional.

Ephesians 3:17-18 (NIV)
“… And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ”

In my previous devotional, I wrote about three important ideas I believe God wants us to remember when fear and worry creep into our minds. The first is to turn our backs on fear and run to God’s Word. When we are rooted in God’s promises and in His unfailing love, the enemy is not able to run rampant in our minds with lies that can cause us to worry or panic. The second significant idea was that perhaps we are not capable of feeling two opposing emotions at the exact same time. If we trade worry for hope, fear for thanksgiving, and panic for praise, we can sometimes experience an immediate change in our reality. Thirdly, I suggested we embrace God’s trustworthiness through a growing faith that can only come from feeding ourselves a healthy dose of the God who never leaves our side. This can be done through reading Scripture, prayer, worship, or fellowship with others.

We tend to see and believe information as “good” if it matches our belief systems. We also pay more attention to information that conforms to our beliefs. The opposite is also true. Information is “bad” if it does not conform to our belief system. For example, when I was a little girl on vacation with my family, a spider bit my arm. The bite caused my whole arm to swell, itch, and hurt. It was excruciating! The symptoms bought me a trip to the emergency room. Since then, my belief is that spiders are bad. If a television documentary on Animal Planet tried to convince me that most spiders are harmless and essential to the ecosystem, I would start twitching and turn the channel. After all, I can’t even look at a picture of a spider without getting the willies! However, the truth is that spiders are (probably) critical to the environment and stability of our ecosystem. The truth is that most spiders are harmless to humans. My belief system is based on one incident that produced in me a fear of spiders. That fear ended my rational thinking regarding spiders. These beliefs of mine are not rooted in truth precisely because I allowed that fear to alter my convictions about spiders.

If we allow the school tragedy in Connecticut (or any other crisis or disaster) to change our belief system about God’s goodness or allow fear (for our own children in this case) to affect our lives or change our perspective about God’s love or trustworthiness, we have made the same mistake I did with spiders. So, what are our beliefs? What is the truth?

Let's run to His Word. Here are my beliefs - I pray they continue to stay rooted in scripture … in the TRUTH.

1. There is evil on earth. Satan is real and present. The enemy’s goal is to block us from a relationship with God and from everlasting life. “And the LORD said to Satan, ‘Where have you come from?’ Satan answered the LORD, ‘From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.” (Job 2:2 NIV) and “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy …” (John 10:10 NIV)

Thankfully,

2. For those who love God, He will work out everything perfectly … even if we can’t understand the goodness until we reach our eternal home. “… The LORD will do what is good in his sight.” (2 Samuel 10:12 NIV) and “… we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NIV)

3. God IS love, and God cares about what we fear. He cares that we have worries. He cares about our tragedies. He cares about us more than we can ever fathom. He also won’t trade our free will or our ability to choose a relationship with Him in exchange for preventing evil on Earth. After all, this is not our home and His love is greater than any evil act or the fear that it illicits. “… When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day – our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life – fear of death, fear of judgment – is one not yet fully formed in love.” (1 John 4:17-18, The Message)

4. God IS just, so I don’t have to worry about that either. “GOD’s enemies will be blasted out of the sky, crashed in a heap and burned. GOD will set things right all over the earth, he’ll give strength to his king, he’ll set his anointed on top of the world!” (1 Samuel 2:6-10, The Message)

I make a daily choice to set my mind on God through Christ. I strive to stay ROOTed in Him. That is what gives me strength, especially in times of sorrow or pain such as the kind we have all experienced this week. It also alleviates every ounce of fear and worry that may start to creep in. No wildfires allowed! Will you do the same?

Remember: (Run to His Word, Offer Thanks, Offer Praise, Trust Him)

Prayer – God, I pray for the families and friends of the victims of the school tragedy in Connecticut. I pray they feel Your love and comfort in the midst of their pain. I hope they run to You and not rage against You in their anguish. Thank You for Your promises – may they help us stay grounded in Your truth and turn our backs on fear. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

© 2012 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

Being Rooted - Part 1 By Cortney Donelson

I hope this photograph grabs your attention. 

A friend of mine once commented to me that she loves devotionals that not only provide encouragement, but also have a lesson or hard truth embedded in them. She likes to be challenged and loved both at the same time. I pray this is one of those devotionals.

Ephesians 3:17-18 (NIV)
“… And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ”

Everyone worries or has anxiety from time to time. God designed us with all our feelings attached, even the “negative” ones. They protect us – or at least act as indicators of our current reality. We worry our toddler will get too close to the stove and burn herself. We worry when we leave our kids with a babysitter for the first time. Anxiety accompanies our excitement as we learn to drive a car or move away from home for good. These types of feelings usually keep us safe to some extent. They act as cautionary flags to be on the lookout that something might be wrong.

Sometimes, though, our worry and anxiety get the best of us. You can bet Satan enjoys using these emotions against us. When we are anxious, we tend to lose focus on what is most important – God. For many, these feelings that God designed in order to alert us become emotions that are unhealthy and destructive. It seems to me there is an epidemic of anxiety in our society. I hear about it all too often in my circle of mothers. I believe too many of us are allowing our worries to control our lives.

As a mother, I tend to worry about my kids. Another big-ticket anxiety item within my social circle is health. When we constantly worry about things for which we have no control, that worry evolves into fear, and anxiety morphs into panic. Once fear’s grip takes hold, it is difficult to regain your freedom. Instead, if we choose to become rooted in God’s promises, rooted in His word, rooted in His love, then freedom is ours for the taking.

There are three things I believe God wants us to consider when it comes to fear and anxiety. The first is that God tells us to turn our backs on fear. “Fear not” is the most frequent directive God gives us in the Bible. In fact, according to Wikipedia, there are over 100 “fear not” statements in the Bible. If you include “do not be afraid” or similar language, the number grows to 366, depending on the translation. God and Satan continue their epic battle for our hearts and minds. Fear is the enemy’s weapon. Fear in the hands of Satan is like a spark in a dry forest. The damage can spread like wildfire, burning every hope, every positive thought, and every ounce of strength we can muster.

The second message I have learned about fear is that when you are in a place where uncontrollable anxiety and worry rule, you do not have the capacity to be thankful. In fact, it is downright impossible! Ann Voskamp, author of “One Thousand Gifts,” describes this beautifully:

            “You can’t positive-think your way out of negative feelings. About your brother,

            about me, about people. Feelings work faster than thoughts; blood runs faster

            than synapses … The only way to fight a feeling is with a feeling … I move closer,

            hoping my words might revive. Feel thanks and    it’s absolutely impossible to feel

            angry. We can only experience one emotion at a time. And we get to choose –

            which emotion do we want to feel?”

The author, as the main character, is teaching her son how to replace anger with thanksgiving. However, I believe the principle applies to every feeling. What if we replaced worry with thanksgiving? What if we chose to feel faithful rather than fearful? What if we could stop anxiety in its tracks by giving praise and gratitude? When anxiety over a medical test result creeps in, we can choose to give thanks to God for advanced medicine, early detection, or even for the promise of eternity. When worry erupts into fear as finances disappear, we can give thanks to God for the food on our table or the friends and family who step in to help. Your fear may just start to dissipate. Why? You have put God first.

The third action that I believe God asks us to do is embrace His trustworthiness. And, therein lies the ultimate definition of faith. If you believe God’s promises, then fear has no place. After all, God promises to never leave us. In Romans 8:31, the promise continues, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Our God has already claimed victory over death through His Son, Jesus. 

So, when anxiety’s blazing fingers start to wrap around our minds and threaten to take over, let’s remember this acronym: ROOT (Run to His Word, Offer Thanks, Offer Praise, Trust Him).

Next time, we will dig deeper into how being rooted in God’s Word and His love can break the “misinterpretation cycle” of worry and anxiety – finally setting us free!

Prayer – God, we want to be ROOTed in You. We thank You for Your promises. We thank You for the victory that we have through Jesus. We hope and pray we can regain our freedom by choosing to focus on the One who loves us more than anything. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen!

© 2012 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

When God is a Spectator, Not a Lifeguard By Cortney Donelson

Revelation 2:2 (NIV)

“I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance…”

I am not a crier – ask anyone who knows me. So when my husband saw me standing on the side of the pool with tears spilling down my face, he came right over and let me fold myself into his arms.

Our 6-year-old son was swimming out in the middle lane of the Olympic-size pool. He was out there alone, not because we left him in the pool after a family swim or because it was closing time and we couldn’t reel him in. There were hundreds of people around, but he was all alone.

Our son was the youngest participant in his age group in a local triathlon for kids. He had wanted to register, and my husband, an avid triathlete himself, puffed out his daddy chest and encouraged him to go for it. My son didn’t quite know how to swim yet, and he had just learned how to ride his bike without training wheels. Yet, he is an adventurer … and, he wants to be like his dad.

We geared him up with a life jacket and spent a couple weeks helping him to practice riding his bike. He and my husband would also go out and run sprints up and down the street. It was all so much fun. However, my son was not much into “practicing.” He said “I’ll be fine,” so we let him be.

When the day of the race came, we picked up his race packet and swim cap. His legs were painted with his race number. He was so excited! However, one of the officials informed us that our son would be racing with the “7-9” age bracket because his birthday fell just after the cutoff date. To make matters worse, we were told that the swim would be twice as long for this age group. I felt a twinge of panic. We tried to negotiate, but the official was not sympathetic.

As my son lined up with the other kids, he was the only one in a life jacket. He was several inches shorter than the other boys, who were all in race swim suits and goggles. My son looked scared. My heart broke! The kids all had to swim two lengths of the pool, down and back. As the children dove into the pool to begin the race, my son slipped in the side and started on his journey … a swim that would take him twice as long as the other kids to complete. As the other boys exited the pool to begin their bike, my son made the turn to swim the return length and was the only one left in the pool.

My husband and I encouraged him from the other side of the pool where we were permitted to watch. We yelled his name and cheered him on … and my tears flowed. For the first time as a mother, I couldn’t help him. I couldn’t jump in and do something for him. I was forced to watch him struggle. It was so hard! I felt completely helpless and remember thinking that if I could jump in and push him along, I would do it in a heartbeat.

But, get this … I also knew that jumping in and rescuing him would hurt him too. If I had helped him and appeased my own hurting heart in the short term, I would be stealing a moment from him that was ultimately making him stronger in the long run. I knew that as difficult as it was to stand on the side of that pool and watch, it was good for him. My son was learning so many valuable lessons: strength of will, independence, fortitude, perseverance – to name a few. I prayed he was not wondering why I wasn’t in that pool helping him.

Guess what? I bet we can all relate. Think of a time when you were struggling. Did you wonder where God was? Did you think He had left you all alone? Revelation 2:2 (NIV) promises, “I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance…” Perhaps God was sitting on the side of your pool cheering you on with His own tears flowing, all the while knowing that if He jumped in to rescue you, He would be robbing you of something special. Perhaps your struggle, your heartbreak, your mess caused Him great pain, yet He knew it was good for you in the long run. God sees everything. God knows your hard work. At times, He may be helping you build your perseverance by standing off to the side. As emotional and distraught as this momma felt on the spectator-only side of that race, God feels that same emotion – but tenfold – for you, His beloved child. 

When times come where God seems distant, remember this: Maybe God is acting as a spectator in some of your races, not because He has left or doesn’t care about you. Rather, He may be forgoing the role of lifeguard in order to build your perseverance and strength for the long road ahead.

Prayer – God, we thank You for Your wisdom and love. For, it is this wisdom and love that teaches us so many valuable lessons about faith and perseverance, building us up to be made perfect one day in eternity. Remind us that You are always with us, through times of struggle and times of joy, cheering us on the entire race. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen!

© 2012 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.