I Am Not ... Yet, I AM By Cortney Donelson

Exodus 31:1-3 (NIV)

Then the Lord said to Moses, ”See, I have chosen Bezalelson of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills”

I am not a writer.

In fact, if you ran into my high school English teachers and shared with them that I was writing devotionals and actually publicizing them, they would all faint – after first recovering from a good, long laugh.  

Yet here I am, typing out the words that seem to spill out of my head on a daily basis. They are words that I will sit with, pray over, and continually review and revise – all with an internal assurance that God has provided them to me for the purpose of sharing them. A lot of prayer goes into my devotionals. That is the only way I can write them. Remember, I am not a writer.

God called me to write many years ago. He put the desire deep into my heart where I kept it dormant, fearful that I didn’t have the skills to actually pull it off. I have started countless books over the years – most of them never made it past the initial outline or first chapter. A year ago, I did make it through a good part of one of book when I sensed the Lord telling me to think “smaller.” Smaller? Huh?

Smaller turned out to be shorter. Once I started my devotional journey, writing became easy and fun. It is inspiring for me. It fills that deep desire in my heart to do something for God. Writing is not something I could ever do apart from God. God filled me with this gift, and then unleashed it in His perfect timing.

Moses was not a public speaker, yet he led thousands.

Noah was not an architect or an engineer, yet he built a massive boat that withstood flooding rains.

Abraham and Sarah were not young, yet they became parents.

David was not fierce or strong, yet he conquered a giant warrior.

I am not a writer, yet I blog and publish my devotionals on a weekly basis to encourage others.

Exodus 31:1-3 says, Then the Lord said to Moses, ”See, I have chosen Bezalelson of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills.”

God handpicks us. He handpicked Bezalelson. He handpicked me. 

Each of us has been given a gift, a skill, and a desire. These are planted in our hearts by God. If we choose to grow them and ignore the fear or the whispers that we are not, then God will use those skills. God, the Great I AM, will use us. He will give us His power to do what we cannot do alone.

God has handpicked you too. What gift are you hiding in your heart? Are you harboring the skills to be a speaker, a teacher, a worshiper, a prayer warrior, or maybe a mentor for God’s Kingdom? Maybe you are one of God’s writers, but – as I used to do – you are writing in secret.

As we close out this year, it may be a good time to think about this. What are you not?

Prayer – God, thank You for the skills and desires You plant in our hearts. My prayer is that no gift goes unopened but that we allow You to be the I AM we are not. Remind us that You will strengthen us through Christ who lives within us. We love You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

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