Feeling Trapped By Cortney Donelson

I know, I know! My next devotion was supposed to be the "Word of the Year" post on January 7th. That is still all ready to go. However, I felt prompted to send this devotion out today. I pray God encourages you with it. I know the message was an encouragement to me! Please excuse any errors - my editors are on vacation this month! Have a very Merry Christmas, and a blessed New Year!
~ As a Clay Jar

Galatians 5:1 (NIV)
“[Freedom in Christ ] It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” 

Source: Unknown

I stood in the kitchen with my hands clenched and heart pounding. Angry.  Oh, I was angry. I tried to find one area of my life that was not being controlled by someone else. I couldn’t. Looking through the filter of my white hot mess, I was the victim and everyone else was the conductor of my life.

Money that was due to me was being held by those who were unknowingly controlling our financial picture.

Our family schedule was being dictated by the amount of homework my 9-year old was given the week before Christmas break, even though during school hours they were watching movies.

Technical difficulties were preventing the editor of my book from completing the first round edits that I so desperately wanted to receive.

A multitude of other people were unintentionally controlling my ability to plan, cope, smile, rest, and enjoy the holiday season. At least that was how I felt.

My external self was falling apart. I felt gagged, leashed, and handcuffed to my circumstances and to others’ selfish decisions and actions. The age-old adages that “good guys finish last” and those who selfishly roll over people do get all the breaks were at the forefront of my thoughts. This “nice girl” was ready to throw in her towel.

One day God said not just yet. He left a book in my path, and I wisely picked it up and started to read…

John Ortberg’s “When the Game is Over, It All Goes Back in the Box,” reminded me that I do not have to be yoked to this world. I am not bound by others, by circumstances, or even by my own unmet expectations. I am free, because I believe.

“One of the strongest myths is the illusion of control. ‘I am in control’ is not just a lie; author Ernest Becker called this the vital lie because we need it for our egos to survive.” Externally, I was seething because I felt I had lost control. But maybe – just maybe – I hadn’t.

John Ortberg argues in his book that perhaps our external selves are not really who we are. Yes, our bodies, our clothes, our wealth, our families, our success, and our possessions are what the world values and judges. And, because of those values and judgments, they are the things we try desperately to control in order to save our egos. However, it is our internal selves that matter to God. It is our hearts, our thoughts, and our choices that matter. That is what He is after – for all eternity. He doesn’t call back our bodies; He calls back our souls to an eternal home with Him. “We can all be tempted to place all our focus on the outer person. But one day all that will pass away. You, however, are a being who will never cease to exist. Your spirit – your inward character – is in the process of becoming something. Something either unbelievably good or something unimaginably dark. That something is the main thing God sees when he looks at us.”

I realized this anger of mine was dark. Left to its own seething, it would have wrapped me around its bitter finger. I didn’t want to be a slave to darkness, to anger, or to my frustrating circumstances. I instead chose to stand firm in my freedom through Jesus - the Christ who's birth we are about to celebrate. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”  

I chose to work on what I could control – my internal self. With the Holy Spirit’s help, I reminded myself that just like the apostle Paul who was trapped in prison yet found unending joy, I could feel financially, socially, and physically trapped in these temporary circumstances of mine and still be spiritually, relationally, and eternally free.

Are you feeling trapped...

• by a scary or painful medical condition?
• in a marriage that has not met your expectations of wedded bliss?
• by financial burdens you cannot solve or escape?
• in a job that is demanding more of you than you might be willing to give?
• by the choices you must make?

I needed this reminder … perhaps you do too:

“When the game is over, it all goes back in the box.” Everything, that is, except our spirits – the ones God created, loves, and wants to be free.

Prayer – God, especially in this season of busyness, schedules, financial stress, and holiday commitments, some of us feel trapped. Our circumstances seem big. It seems we have lost control. Thank You that if we keep our internal selves focused on You, we will be set free.  In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2013 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.