Others First By Cortney Donelson

Source: Mark Miller and Pinterest

Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

The students in the middle school science class stood with eyes transfixed upon the looming battle. It was a boy versus girl arm wrestling match under the pretense of a scientific experiment. And, it was go time.

As I stared at my opponent’s scrawny pre-pubescent arm, I knew I could win. I was athletic and competitive. I could knock out 50 pushups. I took second place in the flexed arm hang (I still love you, Alicia!). There was no doubt I could beat the kid who sat at the end of the arm and hand that were linked with mine. Our classmates picked their sides, which meant the girls stood behind me, and the boys flocked to the other side of the table. The teacher grabbed our intertwined fingers and said, “On your mark…”

I was not a person who followed the directive written by the apostle Paul in the second chapter of Philippians. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Much of my life has been focused on independence, personal goals, self-preservation, and selfish ambition. From traveling tennis teams to honor rolls, I was motivated by success and advancement. If I wanted something, I went after it with a fiercely competitive tenacity. On this day, I was not concerned with mechanics, friction, force, or gravity. I wanted to win to prove that I was stronger … better. 

Thinking back, my motives were so ugly. Unfortunately, my arm wrestling technique was not. I won. Then came the gut-wrenching guilt and realization that it wasn’t worth it. His embarrassment stretched across the table and slapped me on the face. The other boys began teasing. The girls were laughing. The teacher didn’t know how to handle the situation. I wanted to cry for this kid. Middle school is hard enough, and I had just put the stamp on that reality. 

I thought I would prove that girls could be stronger than boys. Instead, it was my first lesson that others are possibly more important than me. I had gained nothing, and he had lost much. I wished I could go back in time – not necessarily to let this middle school boy win, but to avoid the battle altogether. A seed had been planted in my heart. While it would be many years before I truly understood what I had learned that day, it was the first time I remember thinking that winning wasn’t everything … that others’ interests mattered.

An authentic and sincere prayer in the quiet of my college dorm room helped me crack that seed open and finally see my secret ugly. When I asked Christ into my heart, an amazing thing happened. Suddenly, it was no longer all about me. My eyes were opened to the gifts of humility, service, and love.

Please don’t misunderstand me. There have been times as an adult when I have continued to battle dark motives and hidden conceit. Worldly success and healthy competition have not been the issue; judgment, vanity, and pride have. My relationship with Jesus didn’t erase all my sin; it bridged the gap and allowed forgiveness for it.  This has been a difficult road – valuing others’ interests above my own, especially those individuals whom I do not consider to be friends or whom I have unjustly deemed unworthy... 

• The man who cuts in front of me in line
• The elderly woman who cannot find a positive thing to say
• The teenager who refuses to make the wise choice
• The young man who tailgates and then speeds across the double line
• The child who disrespects his elders
• The homeless
• The addict
• The vindictive
• The thief
• The vain and selfish
• The adulterer
• The murderer

Paul didn’t specify whose interests we elevate above our own. The group he refers to is not limited to the friends and family plan. “…Value all others above yourselves” (the word "all" and emphasis mine). It’s a high bar for me to reach, but I desperately want to. 

I have had to make intentional choices and consider the bigger picture – God’s picture. It’s a striking one when I really take the time to look at it. I have to remember that at times, I am hurried, selfish, mean-spirited, and jealous like the people in the list above. I am no better, no more important. God loves us all, and He wants us to love each other.

My world transforms when I turn from my selfish ambition and choose to lift someone else’s needs higher than my own. When I choose wisely, I see God at work. I find joy. I find contentment. I find hope … I find true success. God rewards those who follow Him.

And, it’s a beautiful thing.

Prayer – God, thank You for sending your Son to bridge the gap. Thank you for teaching us through Your Word. I pray I continue to raise others’ interests above my own, knowing all along that when I do, I find joy that I otherwise would have never known. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2014 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

A Leader for God By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

1 John 2:15 (NIV)

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.”

“Be a leader for what is right, not a follower of this world.”

Over the last couple of years, I have flooded my son with this advice. When my daughter grows a little older, I will share it with her as well. It may be the most important parenting instruction I ever give. It will certainly be one of the hardest to follow. Only now, as I approach 40, have I consistently headed my own advice.

In His almighty Providence, God gave us one capability that has both set us free and handcuffed us to ourselves – the ability to choose. We make hundreds of decisions every day. Some are small, like how many times we will hit the snooze button. Others are quite significant, such as what we will do with our free time or even whether or not we schedule ourselves any free time. 

Every day, we choose … and then we live our lives along the paths of those choices. A simple yes could be the beginning of a lifelong commitment to another human being, and a seemingly polite no could mean the stranger on the sidewalk with the sunken eyes will miss yet another meal. Adam and Eve chose to eat an apple one day. With every decision, there is a consequence – a path forged. 

So, how can we be successful with these choices? I have learned that it depends on how you define “success” because once you define it, your choices will revolve around it.

One day last year, I picked my 2^nd-grader up from school. When I asked him how his day was, he replied, “I got in trouble again.” I asked him what happened. 

“My PE (Physical Education) teacher yelled at me, and I had to run laps because I was late. But Mom, if I had to do it all over again, I would be late again!” I thought this story was starting to sound interesting, so I urged him to continue as it seemed he believed that was the end to his explanation!

It went something like this: “We were in line walking outside, and my friend at the back of the line had to stop to tie her shoes. I didn’t want her to be left behind all alone, so I stayed with her until she finished. Then we walked to PE together. But we were late, so we both had to run laps.” I asked how late they were, and his reply sounded something like this:

“Well, she had trouble tying her shoes. Maybe she just learned how or something … so we were a couple minutes late, but we weren’t THAT late!”

I smiled. This world, especially certain parts of it, has a lot of “do’s” and “don’ts.” Schools and workplaces will always have expectations, rules and regulations, and people who make unfair assumptions. Marketers and advertisers will continue to sell through lofty comparisons, cut-throat competition, and the promise of securing powerful connections. From the day we are born, we’re pushed into a box called “this world.” Color inside the lines. Sit still. Be quiet. Get good grades. Secure that scholarship. Go to college. Find a great job. Buy that fancy car. Build your dream home.  Retire early. It seems our society values status and success over character. Decisions of this world are typically made with these goals in mind. 

Thankfully, I have learned a better decision-making philosophy that I now teach to my children. Be a leader for what is right, not a follower of this world.  What is right is what Jesus has taught us to do. This rightness encompasses morality, kindness, patience, gratitude, service, and love. My son has been listening to my advice. My prayers are working. He chose to help a friend over following a simple school rule, and he paid the price - one worth paying in my opinion. 

Dr. Laura Markham, in an article about parenting strong-willed children, said it this way: "Morality is doing what's right, no matter what you're told. Obedience is doing what you're told, no matter what's right." Or, as I would say in context to my parenting advice, "Being a leader for what is right is doing what's right, no matter what the world thinks. Following the world is doing what everyone else is doing, no matter what's right."

By no means am I saying that rules are bad or that we should not live by specific laws and certain expectations. I am also not saying power and success are wrong. However, every day we have to make choices. Sometimes, those choices will be difficult ones. They will highlight the conflict between what the world expects and what Jesus wants. In fact, that probably happens more often than not. Jesus taught us to value people over possessions, relationships over regulations and others over ourselves. My son chose correctly. The world might disagree. 

It takes courage to choose God. “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.” The world told my son he broke a rule and the reason did not matter. The world punished him. However, I know in my heart that he chose what was right. Standing beside this seven year old girl so she would not be left alone outside was more important to my son, to me, and to Jesus than being on time for PE class. 

This is a simple example from the life of a child. What about us? Imagine the impact we could have if we became leaders for God rather than followers of this world. 

What decision will you make for God today? 

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other." - Mark Twain

Prayer – God, thank You for giving us Your loving heart and eyes to see what You see. I pray we don’t close our eyes to the needs of others because the world might disagree. Protect us as we chose You in a world that has largely ignored You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2014 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

A Mighty Position By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

Matthew 5:14 (NIV)

 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.”

There he was – my second chance. 

My initial opportunity was offered to me about eight months ago. I was driving along an off-ramp near my house. At the light stood a young man about 25 years old. He held the typical ripped cardboard box sign that read “Homeless. Please help.” Yet, this man standing on the road was no mainstream beggar. He seemed well dressed in a J Crew sort of way, was clean-shaven, and he held a high-end take-out coffee mug in his other hand. There was a bike propped against an electrical box. I travel this off-ramp multiple times every day. I had never seen this man before. He was not one of the regulars. Immediately, the Holy Spirit whispered, “Help him.” 

There was a problem. It was early morning. I was coming back from taking my son to school, and let’s just say I had not even had time to shed my pjs. I wore a baseball hat and slippers (seriously). I had no money with me.  I was lucky to even have my driver’s license. I had nothing to offer. This man didn’t look like he should be holding a cardboard sign.  In fact, in a side-by-side comparison, strangers probably would have picked me as the one in need of help that morning.

As I pulled up next to him at the red light, despite my un-Christian-like judgment of him, I felt a strong urge to do something. My flesh screamed the world’s excuses: “He’ll just use it for drugs … He looks fine! … You are a female alone in the car; it’s not safe … you’re not even dressed!” I felt awkward and didn’t want to look at him. 

Sitting there waiting for the red light to change, my heart’s voice reminded me that I had eyes to see, a tongue to speak, lips to smile, Jesus’ love to show, or even an ATM card to use. I had a lot to offer. 

Instead, I drove away and immediately broke down and began sobbing. I knew the instant the light turned green and my car started forward that I had just said no to Jesus. I cannot explain how I knew this except to use Matthew 25:40, “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” as reference. 

Suddenly, that man was not a homeless man on the street corner. He was the Lord, standing there offering me a chance to be a light on a hill. I felt like I had failed Him with a capital “F.” 

I never saw the man again. However, the lesson was not forgotten. 

Eight months later, here I was driving up that same off-ramp. Again, I was alone. As I approached a line of cars at the red light, I noticed a young man standing in the same spot as the Lord stood months ago. He was clad in dirty cargo pants and a heavy coat. It was cold outside, and he wore a knit hat but no gloves. He held a sign that read Homeless. May God bless you. 

I wasn’t going to fail again. I reached for my wallet. I rolled down my window and looked this man right in the eyes. I will never forget those eyes. They were crystal-blue orbs surrounded by black dirt and grime. He was probably in his mid-20s, but he looked much older. In those eyes, I saw sadness and pain. I also saw compassion and gratitude. I refused to look away. As I handed him some money, I was preparing words that might offer him some encouragement. Instead, he looked me in the eyes and said, “Thank you. God bless you.” 

God bless me? No! I am the one in the warm car. I am the one with money to give. I am the one driving to a suburban house where I deal with “rich-people” problems that pale in comparison to yours. I am the one that missed the first opportunity and failed the Lord miserably. I am the one that is supposed to say God bless YOU! 

I was humbled to the point of tears. This man with the dirty clothes and sky-blue eyes was blessing me. This man, despite the darkest and bleakest of circumstances, was God’s light on a hill for me. As I drove home and cried for the blessing he had offered me and for his obviously dark situation, a realization hit me.

In Matthew 5:14, Jesus tells us we “...are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.” Even in our hardest places, we can be that light on the hill. No matter what life has hurled into our laps, God can use us for His glory and place us in mighty positions to impact others. This homeless man on the street gifted me with God’s blessing. A man dying on a cross saved us all. We can be a blessing to others regardless of what our physical or emotional conditions tell us. 

Driving home, I asked myself: When life turns upside down, are we dropped into a pit where no one can see us and all God’s restorative power is hidden? Or, like this young man standing inches from an interstate off-ramp where hundreds drive by him, are we placed up on hills where God’s strength and mercy can shine down through our darkness and shower others with blessings – even those who believe they are the ones who are supposed to offer the love of Jesus? 

What mighty position (aka dark hill) are you in right now, and how might you be the light of the world to someone else?


Prayer - Heavenly Father, thank You for those who bless others. We pray we can be like those individuals and can show the world Your love, despite our circumstances or how we may be feeling. Help us rise up and shine like cities on a hill. Please lift us out of our pits and place us up as lights in the darkness for others to witness Your restorative power. In Jesus' name, Amen.

© 2014 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

Just One Word: 2013-2014 By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

Nehemiah 8:10

“This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Joy - It was my word for 2013. I faithfully embedded the word in my heart, laid it as a foundation for my decisions, and kept my focus on the power it provides. After 12 months, I can honestly say I have a new respect for joy.

I have discovered quite a bit about this three-letter word. In June, I wrote that joy is a choice. I was halfway to fully understanding my word of the year. During the past six months, I have learned so much more about joy…

Joy is not simply an emotion. Rather, joy is more like an experience, a condition of our souls. We do not feel joy, but instead are filled with it. Joy is more than a fleeting sentiment. That would be a simplification to the point of gross misinterpretation. Joy is the radical realization that God is here.  It brings us a new perspective – one based on a death on a cross. Joy is a way of life. If we want to have any hope of finding and being filled with this joy, we must choose the battle it justly deserves. 

John Piper[1] has written in his book “When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy,” We can draw no deadlines for God. He hastens or He delays as he sees fit. And his timing is all-loving toward his children. On that we might learn to be patient in the hour of darkness. I don't mean that we make peace with darkness. We fight for joy. But we fight as those who are saved by grace and held by Christ. We say... that our night will soon - in God's good timing - turn to day.

Joy is not the absence of sadness or grief. It does not eliminate darkness. Joy is the condition created in our hearts when we finally realize that all our hope, peace, and eternity are secure in God’s grace and promises through Christ in spite of that darkness. Our circumstances, no matter how difficult, cannot steal this joy. Instead, our joy-battles give us the ability to be patient through the darkness – to be victorious over those circumstances, despite what we are feeling on the inside.

I battled for joy this past year. Despite difficulties, judgments, sorrow, and even some regret, I was filled with joy. How? I sat with the knowledge that Jesus was crushing all my difficulties under His feet, and in doing so, gifted those victories to me too. My joy is found in knowing Christ on an intimate level. I fought for the conviction that my peace and hope are found in the assurance that this broken world is not the home where my soul belongs, and my joy-well can spring up and out no matter what is happening in this world.

As I learned and wrote last year, peace and joy are intimately intertwined. The same applies for joy and my word for 2014. When I shared my new word with my husband, he cringed. During my year of joy, I traveled to Haiti and finished a very personal book draft and sent it off to an editor. He wonders what this word will lead to! It is not a word one should take lightly. That's okay; I don't intend to...

(Insert drum roll)

My 2014 word is courage!

Without joy, courage falters. How can we be bold and uncover the strength it takes to be courageous in our faith – in our lives – if we are not filled with the joy of knowing Christ and understanding what that relationship offers us? Without joy-inspired courage, there would be fewer long-term missionaries seeking out the lost and teaching them about Jesus in unsafe areas of the world. Without courage, divine purposes that go against the grain of our society’s standards would be left unfilled out of fear of rejection or even persecution. And without courage, that neighbor across the street who has abandoned all things church may go on living apart from the One who saves. 

Nehemiah 8:10 says, “This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”  This day – today – is holy to God. No matter what today brings, He asks us to fear not. He commands us to grieve not. He wants us to find and fill with the joy we have in Him and use it to bolster our courage for Him.

In 2014, I will strive to see my choices through the lens named courage.  I will seek out God’s will and stay the course, even if that path runs counter-intuitive to the expectations of this world. As the song, “Believer,” by Audio Adrenaline goes:

I want to live this life unsafe, unsure, but not afraid

What I want is to give all I got somehow

Giving up letting go of control right now

In fact, every word of the song expresses how I expect to live out my year of courage. Check it out at http://www.klove.com/music/artists/audio-adrenaline/songs/believer-lyrics.aspx.

My message as the year 2013 ends and the calendar flips to 2014 is that joy is not simply a feeling, and it’s much more than a choice. It is a battle within ourselves to allow the Holy Spirit to fill us - one worth fighting until the very end and one that will produce in us the courage required to face any difficulty and any adventure that lay ahead. 

What is your word for the new year? Some ideas from our household include relentless, surrender, grace, and kindness. I would love it if you left your one word in a comment below. Perhaps it will inspire others in 2014.

Joshua 1:9

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Prayer – Oh God, how I have found joy in You! How blessed I am to be able to experience life with this perspective. My prayers go out to those who do not know You and therefore find little joy in this world – those who allow their situations to dictate their hope. You are bigger than our circumstances and our mistakes. For that, I am so grateful. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

[1] John Piper is a Calvinistic Baptist Christian preacher and author who served as Pastor for Preaching and Vision of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota for 33 years

© 2013-2014 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.