Others First By Cortney Donelson

Source: Mark Miller and Pinterest

Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

The students in the middle school science class stood with eyes transfixed upon the looming battle. It was a boy versus girl arm wrestling match under the pretense of a scientific experiment. And, it was go time.

As I stared at my opponent’s scrawny pre-pubescent arm, I knew I could win. I was athletic and competitive. I could knock out 50 pushups. I took second place in the flexed arm hang (I still love you, Alicia!). There was no doubt I could beat the kid who sat at the end of the arm and hand that were linked with mine. Our classmates picked their sides, which meant the girls stood behind me, and the boys flocked to the other side of the table. The teacher grabbed our intertwined fingers and said, “On your mark…”

I was not a person who followed the directive written by the apostle Paul in the second chapter of Philippians. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Much of my life has been focused on independence, personal goals, self-preservation, and selfish ambition. From traveling tennis teams to honor rolls, I was motivated by success and advancement. If I wanted something, I went after it with a fiercely competitive tenacity. On this day, I was not concerned with mechanics, friction, force, or gravity. I wanted to win to prove that I was stronger … better. 

Thinking back, my motives were so ugly. Unfortunately, my arm wrestling technique was not. I won. Then came the gut-wrenching guilt and realization that it wasn’t worth it. His embarrassment stretched across the table and slapped me on the face. The other boys began teasing. The girls were laughing. The teacher didn’t know how to handle the situation. I wanted to cry for this kid. Middle school is hard enough, and I had just put the stamp on that reality. 

I thought I would prove that girls could be stronger than boys. Instead, it was my first lesson that others are possibly more important than me. I had gained nothing, and he had lost much. I wished I could go back in time – not necessarily to let this middle school boy win, but to avoid the battle altogether. A seed had been planted in my heart. While it would be many years before I truly understood what I had learned that day, it was the first time I remember thinking that winning wasn’t everything … that others’ interests mattered.

An authentic and sincere prayer in the quiet of my college dorm room helped me crack that seed open and finally see my secret ugly. When I asked Christ into my heart, an amazing thing happened. Suddenly, it was no longer all about me. My eyes were opened to the gifts of humility, service, and love.

Please don’t misunderstand me. There have been times as an adult when I have continued to battle dark motives and hidden conceit. Worldly success and healthy competition have not been the issue; judgment, vanity, and pride have. My relationship with Jesus didn’t erase all my sin; it bridged the gap and allowed forgiveness for it.  This has been a difficult road – valuing others’ interests above my own, especially those individuals whom I do not consider to be friends or whom I have unjustly deemed unworthy... 

• The man who cuts in front of me in line
• The elderly woman who cannot find a positive thing to say
• The teenager who refuses to make the wise choice
• The young man who tailgates and then speeds across the double line
• The child who disrespects his elders
• The homeless
• The addict
• The vindictive
• The thief
• The vain and selfish
• The adulterer
• The murderer

Paul didn’t specify whose interests we elevate above our own. The group he refers to is not limited to the friends and family plan. “…Value all others above yourselves” (the word "all" and emphasis mine). It’s a high bar for me to reach, but I desperately want to. 

I have had to make intentional choices and consider the bigger picture – God’s picture. It’s a striking one when I really take the time to look at it. I have to remember that at times, I am hurried, selfish, mean-spirited, and jealous like the people in the list above. I am no better, no more important. God loves us all, and He wants us to love each other.

My world transforms when I turn from my selfish ambition and choose to lift someone else’s needs higher than my own. When I choose wisely, I see God at work. I find joy. I find contentment. I find hope … I find true success. God rewards those who follow Him.

And, it’s a beautiful thing.

Prayer – God, thank You for sending your Son to bridge the gap. Thank you for teaching us through Your Word. I pray I continue to raise others’ interests above my own, knowing all along that when I do, I find joy that I otherwise would have never known. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2014 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.