Here I Am By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

This past Christmas season, my family of four sat snuggled up one night in my daughter’s bed to read a devotional book. We spend time like this as a family at least once a week, together in God’s Word. Most nights, it’s prayers in pairs as bedtimes are somewhat different for our children who are more than four years apart. So, I treasure these nights when we are all together.

This particular night, we read an abbreviated story of Jacob from the Book of Genesis. I listened as intently as possible while trying to keep my five-year-old still and my ten-year-old from playing with the dog at the foot of the bed. Let’s be real: Our quiet family devotions are not always (ever?) quiet and orderly. Kids are kids. Despite the distractions, we all learn something each time. That night, there was one phrase that caught my intermittent attention and held on tight: “Here I am!” 

Later, I went back during one of my own quiet times and sat with Jacob from the Bible for a while to understand why that phrase caused me to pause. “Here I am” struck me as a passionate, if not desperate, response. It’s the kind of reply I might yell if one of my kids was running around the house screaming in pain, looking for me to provide some comfort (or a band aid). “Here I am!” I say as I run toward my hurting child.

I learned Jacob was an interesting and complicated family man. The name Jacob means "deceiver." Jacob certainly had his share of sin. He was later renamed by God and became known as “Israel”, which means "one who has struggled with God." He had many strengths and weaknesses, and he strived to lead a deeply spiritual life. I came to the realization that I am a lot like Jacob. From this imperfect man of the Bible, I can learn important lessons about faith and God’s character.

In Genesis, God called to Jacob and Jacob’s response (on at least two different occasions) was, “Here I am!” It left me wondering, Is that how I answer when I hear God calling to me?

Or, do I answer with a hesitant or hurried, “What?”

Do I answer with satisfaction, as if to say, “What can I do for you, God?”

Do I answer out of fear or a lack of faith as I think, “What will you ask of me now?”

Do I ignore Him and avoid responding at all?

Or, do I respond as Jacob did with joyful expectancy, bursting with trust? “Here I am!” 

Jacob’s reply triggers within my mind’s eye the picture of a child standing in a group of peers as pre-selected captains choose teammates for a game of kickball. “Pick me!” they all shout, with hands raised and toes dancing, trying to get one of the captain’s attention. “Here I am!” 

As I poured over Jacob’s story, I realized that when God called on Jacob, and Jacob answered with this seemingly urgent and faith-filled “Here I am,” God’s next words were life changing. They were instructions to trust Him. They were calls to action, answers for how to receive His blessings, and reminders that He would be with Jacob at all times. 

I want all that! “Pick me!”

I can’t help but think that God may not have chosen Jacob, rescued him, protected him, blessed his finances, saved his family, or stood by his side providing divine power and intervention to raise up the nation of Israel if Jacob had not been so humbly eager to reply, “Here I am.”

Am I as willing as Jacob to be an imperfect person who God can call into action and use to change the world?

Prayer: Father, here I am! 

Influenced by Genesis 31 and 46 (from the NIV)

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