Diagnosis: Farsightedness By Cortney Donelson

I am 40 years old. Well, for another couple days anyway. I don’t mind saying that because I don’t feel 40. I feel 24. Some of my friends who are ancient – like 41 ½ or 42 – have been purchasing their first pair of reading glasses. It’s funny in a “if only you, not me” kind of way. 

Farsightedness is a common vision condition. It’s characterized by the ability to see distant objects clearly, but close ones do not come into proper focus. I love the term used by those in Britain: long-sightedness. 

When I think of long-sightedness, I think of vision – the leadership term. The pastor of the church I attend is a visionary. He sees down the road to the far off places. Under his leadership, things are adventurous, risky, and full of hope.  

The antithesis of farsightedness is near-sightedness. Spiritual nearsightedness can be deadly. When we only focus on what is right in front of us, we lose the ability to see with God’s eyes. We lose His vision – again, the leadership kind. We lose hope. Lost hope starts to eat away at our joy, our faith, and even our very souls.

Right now, there are people in the worst-case scenarios of life. Maybe it’s you or someone close to you. Maybe you’re at the end of your patience, or your courage, or your trust. You can’t even imagine how to get through today. I’ve been there. It’s a condition where you struggle to survive the next hour, and the future seems irrelevant. 

Where there is no vision, the people perish. ~ Proverbs 29:18

There is a powerful vision treatment available. It’s more than just a pair of corrective lenses. It’s an eternal fix. It’s called faith. It’s putting all your nearsightedness down at the base of a cross and trusting in the goodness and leadership of the Kingdom of God. When you choose to risk it all and do this, you gain God’s vision. His eyes. His hope. 

There’s nothing better.

The hope of God tells you that your situation may seem merciless, but it is temporary.

The hope of God reminds you that while you feel desperate or helpless, God is working to make everything good on your behalf.

The hope of God feeds the joy of God, which is not dependent on your circumstances.

So, while your situation or condition may seem to be the worst kind of awful, God’s farsightedness (long-sightedness) shows you what can be rather than what is. 

The founder of a ministry in Haiti teaches from this motto: “Lose sight to gain vision.” Now, there is a place where nearsightedness could surely kill you. Haiti is the poorest country in the western hemisphere, by all material standards. But, boy do they have the vision of God. Many of the people of Haiti have a bold hope that I have not seen in most other places. They rely on farsightedness rather than nearsightedness, and it produces a powerful hope that sucker punches the core of the here and now. Their long-sightedness proves that no earthly sorrow or circumstance can snuff out the joy and peace of knowing there is a place in Heaven for them. 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ~Romans 12:12

Let this be your encouragement. While you may not be able to choose your physical eyesight or stop the ailments of the aging process, you do have a choice in how you use your spiritual eyes. Will you focus on the trials and hardships right in front of you, allowing them to smother your joy and hope? Or, will you rely on God’s vision and become long-sighted, putting your faith in the expectation and knowledge of something so much better?

Prayer: Father God, give me Your vision. I want to be long-sighted and discover the hope born from living with Your eyes. Thank You for your loving goodness. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by my prayer life, Hebrews 11:1, Proverbs 29:18, Psalm 33:30, Psalm 62:5, Romans 12:12, John McHoul – founder of Heartline Ministries, Merriam-Webster, the simple Gospel, and the struggles within my community. 

©2012-2016 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, Clay Jar Cracked, is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney. 

Don't Leave Yet By Cortney Donelson

We were created for relationship. 

People are the cure for our aloneness. This is by God’s design. Eve was fashioned from the rib of Adam before the fall, when sin first entered the world. God was solving the problem of Adam’s aloneness even though He walked with him in the garden. In His sovereignty, God knew that we would need people in our lives. He knew that when our relationship with Him would soon be broken through the consumption of the forbidden fruit, we would still have emotional needs that would somehow have to be met. After all, He purposely (and perfectly) created us with souls full of thoughts, feelings, and choices. 

Recently, I have seen and read much about relationships that give us trouble. The world says we should just break these relationships off. Cut them out. Be done with them. I get the intent. I understand the motive of these authors and posters on social media. I know we are all trying to put up our “safe boundaries.” We want to forget the past, while forging onward with new and different people. We want to ditch the ones who caused us grief or pain. I know this is a must-do in some situations; violence, addiction, and abuse run rampant in our world. Again, we live in a fallen one. 

However, I am deeply concerned. My fear is fueled by the thought that we will use these calls to end difficult relationships unwisely. These relationship passes labeled with “protect your happiness” may very well cause us to run from a relationship we are not supposed to end, leaving our lives more empty than filled. 

What if we asked God if and when it was appropriate to end a relationship rather than relying on the feelings we have about the relationship to dictate our actions?

All relationships are difficult. Every. Single. One. There are peaks and valleys. Highs and lows. Points of complete agreement and joy as well as potholes filled with frustration and sorrow. If we ran from every relationship that was messy, we would eventually find ourselves alone. Again. Just like Adam was as He walked in the garden with God. 

A wildly creative God crafted us and filled us with a host of emotions. These feelings were given to us so that we could be relational. They are neither good nor bad. (Although our reactions to them may be right or wrong, good or bad.) Imagine walking around this planet without the feelings of relief, hope, or thanksgiving. Consider what our relationships would look like without regret, anger, or disappointment. Our days would be filled with play-by-play logistics and dull – even robotic – interactions. Our feelings are the color commentators of our lives. 

Rather than allowing our emotions to dictate our decisions to end relationships, there must be another way. Our negative emotions are simply indicators of trouble. They are the red flags waving to get our attention – to notify us that something in the relationship needs work, time, or attention. If God gave us these indicators, perhaps the better way to use them is to go to Him with these feelings. Find out the best plan from the One who planned it all!

What if we made decisions against ourselves – against our ever-changing feelings – and instead asked God for help and direction? 

I know the answer…

What would happen if spouses prayed for God’s will before walking out the door rather than leaning on the feeling of hopelessness that oftentimes enters a marriage relationship? 

I know the answer…

What if God, during that desperate prayer, says, “Don’t leave yet”? And, what if a spouse listens to that advice despite her raging anger and feelings of shock and helplessness?

I know the answer…

What if down the road, that couple was engaged in the best years of their marriage and raising their children as partners rather than paying off divorce attorneys and counselors? 

I know the answer…

This isn’t just about marriage relationships. What if we fought for our relationships with our co-workers? Our bosses? Our neighbors? What if a friend betrayed us, and rather than cutting him off out of frustration, we dig into God’s Word where it offers the best advice about how to repair that friendship? What about when decisions within our church home hurt us? What if rather than running away and seeking out another church, God asked us to enter the messiness of an honest conversation and forgiveness was achieved?

What if we wrestled with God through our emotions and gut-reactions, and came out the other side with a deeper understanding of who we are, rather than what the other person did wrong? 

When we go to Him, God will not tell us to stay in violent relationships. He will not advise us to work through relationships that are going to remain harmful to us. He loves us beyond our scope of understanding. We can trust Him. After all, He is the one who thought relationships into existence with some dust and a rib of bone. Lest we forget … God is always good. 

Perhaps this very moment, you have one foot out the door of a challenging or even bad relationship. God may very well tell you to run for the hills and find some closure. But, what if He doesn’t? What if He is waiting for your prayer – your green light – to start working His miracles? 

The next time you hear or read that it’s okay to end a difficult relationship – that you deserve to be happy – I challenge you to consider the What If you are about to throw away. That relationship has purpose. It has dreams, goals, and desires. Consider the amazing ending God may be planning if you would just wrap up the awful mess in prayer and seek His wise counsel before reacting to the emotions of the situation.

Redemption is worth that prayer. Don’t you think?

Prayer: Father God, thank You for Your solution to aloneness. Thank You for providing us with emotions, relationships, and choices. I ask that in all our messy feelings, we seek You out first and last … and in every space between. We need You. We love You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by my prayer life, my book, Clay Jar Cracked, Genesis 2, Intimate Encounters by Dr. Ferguson, If by Mark Batterson, The Basic Idea Ministries (www.thebasicidea.org), my love for people, and my passion to see marriages survive and thrive.

©2012-2016 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, Clay Jar Cracked, is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney. 

Temple By Cortney Donelson

I’m not a hugger. Seriously, have you hugged me before? I become an instant ironing board, and I don’t know where to put my arms or head. I fear stepping on your toes or touching places I’m not supposed to touch. It’s ugly and likely awkward for those who enter into this dance with me.

Many of you are great huggers. I envy that part of you. I do. In fact, I try to mimic you, looking for cues from your body language and facial expressions for when it’s time to step forward, gain my balance, open my arms, and embrace something. Heaven forbid I tilt my head the wrong way and we collide or my hug is different than yours. It’s a very stressful three seconds for me. 

I’m not great at showing empathy either. I feel it, but I just can’t seem to express it well. It does not come naturally to me. But for the Lord, hugging and other displays of compassion are instinctive. Easy. Inherent. 

• Jesus wept. (John 11:35)
• And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. (Luke 15:20, Parable about God’s love for us)
• I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears…  (2 Kings 20:5)
• I will ask the Father, and He will give you another encourager to be with you forever. The Spirit of truth. (John 14:16-17)

This is the lie that I want you to believe – that this hugging and encouraging stuff doesn’t come naturally to me. That way I won’t have to do it, or at least won’t have to do it often or well. See, I just wasn’t made for it. That is my argument anyway. Herein lies the problem: I have recently been convicted through a couple holy truths, and they may just turn the proverbial tables on top of stiff little ole me.  

When I am struggling, one of my coping behaviors is to envision the Lord wrapping His arms around me in love and protection. Basically, it’s a strong hug. I picture myself running toward Him and melting into His lap when I reach the Kingdom of Heaven. I look forward to that time! And, in my toughest hours, I curl up in my closet and imagine God covering me with His massive feathered wings as He works to make everything good. 

So, it seems to me that if those are my mental images to deal with difficulty, I must be created to hug and show other forms of affection. Why then, is it so hard for me to live it out with all of you? Well, I actually know the answer. I have put up my fancy heart-shaped walls and built up my tough-as-nails reputation over the years. I’ve learned how to act stoic and speak from a place of “confidence.” This is all part of whom I have become, crafted and molded by my experiences, temptations, personality, and struggles. Good, bad, or stupid – it’s what I’ve done. 

Aside from being convicted during my prayers and in my times of struggle, there is another reason I have lost this particular lie battle … Scripture. God’s Word tells me that I no longer operate on my own. There is a Spirit-encourager within me that, if I allow, will permeate every part of me. The Holy Spirit will give me strength in my weakness, patience when I am fatigued, and the ability to show compassion when I’m moved by others’ hurts.  

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. (John 14:16-17)

God with me. Immanuel

God is here. Jehovah Shammah

The God of Compassion. El Rachum

I am God’s temple. The old is gone. The new is here. 

He loves, so I can love.

He shows compassion, so I may show compassion.

He hugs. Therefore, I hug. 

This gives me true (a holy) confidence and can replace the fake self-confidence I tout around on most days. I’m being transformed from the inside out. The empathy and compassion I feel on the inside will start to seep through and be experienced by others. Look out, world. Soon, I’ll be the one initiating hugs. 

I use this example partly in jest (just a tiny bit). Nevertheless, there is an important question here. One that’s worth asking: What name – character – of God do you wish to live out more as His holy temple? Which part of His Spirit could be poured out through you in greater quantity? What measure of God is worth fighting for despite your inequities and flaws?

El Shaddai – "God All Sufficient" or “Lord God Almighty”

Jehovah Baal Perez – "The Lord of Breakthrough"

Jehovah-Jireh – "God my Provider" 

Jehovah-Rapha – "God my Healer"*

Prayer: Father God, You are El Rachum. And, because Your Spirit dwells in me, I must choose to become less so that You may become more. Lord, bless me indeed. Bless me with friends and family who will continue to teach me how to show Your compassion, to love, and even to hug. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by my prayer life, the Scripture references listed in the footer, and my desire to be a hugger.

*Extremely Partial List

©2012-2016 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, Clay Jar Cracked, is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney.