I Was a Leg Trying to Be a Face By Cortney Donelson

If you've been following Jesus for any length of time, you have likely read or even studied 1 Corinthians 12:14-26. Here it is in the ESV translation: 

For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

For the past four years, I've been trying to be a face. I'm not a face. God did not design me to be the spokesperson. I was not created with much capacity to ignore the lights, the stage, or the cameras and just seek Him. God did not knit me together to network, engage strangers, or excel at public relations. In fact, spokespeople and leaders (the faces and heads of the Body) should be comfortable with casual conversation about the mission and vision of their work. There is nothing casual about my ability to chat with people and quickly build relationships in order to influence others. It's down-right awkward. 

Yet, I've been trying to do just that. I had fallen into the enemy's trap, believing there are some parts of the Body more important than others. I believed I had to be the face (of my book, of the ministries I serve, etc.) in order to be successful. As Scripture says, God arranged us as parts of a whole Body, and if we aren't content in our part or focusing on our own purpose, the whole Body suffers. 

I was created as a leg. My greatest gifting is supporting the rest of the Body, giving each of the other parts the strength to stand on. As a leg, I'm versatile. I run with speed and accomplish tasks and goals quickly. (Just ask all the managers and co-workers I've had the honor of working with over the years.)  I can become powerfully active in an instant. I can and do flex my muscles when needed but am just as effective standing in one place, in a moment of time, and supporting the Body in it's current place. Then, I make the Body mobile again, moving the vision of the head and the message of the face forward through supporting their work. One former business owner described me as a "Catalyzing Organizer," meaning I can take information from all different areas and wrap it all together to create a final product that moves the company forward. When I'm being a leg, I'm uncomfortably comfortable. 

Even in difficult circumstances, I'm not one to sit around. As a leg, I'm tasked with either keeping the Body standing strong in the face of adversity or propelling it forward, moving It into new territory. I'm strong in my faith. Mobility and strength - those are my areas of expertise.

God definitely made me a leg and not a face. God also creates ears to hear, people who can listen with empathy to others' struggles and provide sound godly advice. God makes eyes to see the disparities of this world and do something to change them. God births full hearts to love the unloveable and reach the lost. God makes compassionate arms to show affection (that's you, you crazy hug-loving people). He makes strong shoulders to carry the burdens of the face and head, giving them support and connecting them to the mercy of the arms. God makes feet to provide the Body with the perfect balance of flexibility and stability, and to keep the legs (me!) from stumbling. God makes hands to heal, build, and create. Are you called to create (perhaps a musician or artist?)? God creates lungs to breath the Holy Spirit into the Body's endeavors. The brains are the spiritual intellects. Some of the most notable are C.S. Lewis, Dallas Willard, and Saint Augustine. Are you this generation's brain? God makes lips to speak truth when others are spreading lies. He makes knees; you are the prayer warriors of the Body. He designs fingers to do the fine work of spiritual surgery and to leave God's thumbprint on His work. He makes noses, those able to sniff out the good fruit from the bad. The noses' gift is discernment. Are you noses using it? Yes, God makes rear ends, too. They remind us of the Sabbath, to force the Body to sit, rest, and reflect.

What part of the Body has God created you to be and are you fulfilling your divine function? Or, like I, have you been dreaming of being another part - one that you have designated as "important," "prestigious," or even "fun," not realizing you're negatively affecting the whole? I was chasing things I had no business chasing. I was a leg running after a face rather than running after God's will for me. I'm learning to be content in all things ... including the part God designed me to be. 

PS:

If you ARE a face, please contact me. I'd like help promoting my story. HA HA!

Influenced by 1 Corinthians 12, Hebrews 13:5, my love and knowledge of the human body, my story as told in the book Clay Jar, Cracked, and my prayer life.

©2012-2017 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar, Cracked: When We're Broken But Not Shattered is available now on Amazon, at Barnes & Noble, and other retailers, as well as at www.cortneydonelson.com! Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information and to learn about the "I'm a Clay Jar" Encourager Class for groups! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly. 

My Perfect Little Life, Exposed (Continued But Never Finished) By Cortney Donelson

Photo Cred: Unknown

As I left off in my last blog post, my perfect little life had just fallen off its podium, crashing onto the cement below, causing a million well-hid, carefully compartmentalized, secretly controlled, marginally held-together cracks to bust wide open as one gaping fissure of failure for all to see.

If you are familiar with my story, you may assume that gaping fissure was my husband's betrayal and secret life of addiction. Well, that would be the wrong assumption. In my former life, that would be what I'd want you to think - to keep the focus off me. 

The tiny cracks that busted wide open when my perfect little life lost it's top position on the idol pedestal were the following:

1. My belief that life could be perfect all the time.

2. My belief that a perfect life could only be achieved by success and not that a really good life is only made complete by failures.

3. My belief that if I could achieve perfection, then others could (dare I confess, "should") strive to achieve it, too. 

4. My belief that I was in control of my life and sadly, everyone in it.

5. My belief that my husband could do no wrong.

6. My belief that achievement was the ultimate goal of this life.

7. My belief that I deserved a better life because of my own efforts and successes.

8. My belief that success was the appearance of happiness, significance, material gains, and power. 

9. My belief that I alone was responsible for holding my whole life together and making it look easy.

10. My belief that if (when!) I made poor choices, I should hide them to protect my perfect little life and reputation. 

These beliefs were the cracks that had snaked through my life, causing undetected spiritual and emotional damage. 

If my perfect little life hadn't taken that plunge off its superior position, I would never have discovered the full measure of God's grace. I would have not experienced the gift Jesus offers when He says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." If my perfect little life had not spiraled out of control to crash and burn below, I would have never realized my utter need for a Savior. If I'm being honest, while playing the writer, director, producer, and lead actress in my perfect little life, I didn't truly understand the disconnection that "production" caused between God and me. I couldn't see how my perfection was a barrier. I was lost. 

Are you lost? Do you believe you have it all together all the time? Can you readily admit that you have weaknesses and flaws? Do you hide your mistakes? Do you rely on your reputation, or do you work for the world rather than for God? As someone who understands the desire - the need? - to feel important, successful, and in control, I am urging you to open your eyes to the fact that our perfect little lives shield us from the glory of God's power, mercy, and even purposes for us. No one is perfect. 

I wake up every day and do a self-check. I prayerfully take note of and repent for my perfectionist tendencies. This will likely be ongoing, until the day I say goodbye to this life and enter my home. 

I hope to break any generational cycles related to this, too. I'm determined to teach my children this truth - that no one is perfect (aside from Jesus) and we should not strive to be such. If we are wrapped in shame because we're not meeting our own unrealistic expectations and therefore covering up our sin, we will never learn to take ownership of our "stuff." We won't have integrity. We'll never be able to remove the barrier and allow God's redemptive power to take over. That's true freedom - having the vulnerability and transparency to admit we aren't perfect in order to discover and live out God's perfect purpose for our very existence. 

If you'd like to learn more or discuss perfectionism with me, check out the icuTalks Conference in Charlotte, North Carolina on September 9, 2017. I'll be facilitating the interactive workshop titled, "I Get to Be Imperfect." 

Influenced by Matthew 11:28, 2 Corinthians 12:10, Matthew 26:41, 1 Corinthians 1:27, my story as told in the book Clay Jar, Cracked, and my prayer life.

©2012-2017 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar, Cracked: When We're Broken But Not Shattered is available now on Amazon, at Barnes & Noble, and other retailers, as well as at www.cortneydonelson.com! Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information and to learn about the "I'm a Clay Jar" Encourager Class for groups! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly. 

My Perfect Little Life, Exposed By Cortney Donelson

Photo Cred: www.getorganizedwizard.com

I am a recovering perfectionist.

I don't use that term lightly or flippantly. I'm not making a naive joke or an uneducated parallel between the compulsion to create straight lines and neatly outlined, color-coded lists and the struggles found in the pit of an addiction with drugs, alcohol, food, or sex. My husband is a recovering addict, so I know (quite directly) the significance of my statement. I have lived through the deepest lows, the hurling hurts, and the intermittent peaks of victory found in the life with an addict who has not yet relented to God's direction and purpose for his or her life.

Perfectionism is and does many things: It paints a deceptively pretty picture. It illustrates high levels of organization. It's the illusion of maintaining utter control.

Perfectionism is also disobedience, spiritual narcissism, practical atheism, and idolatry. It can become an addiction, too.

To simplify a complicated definition, an addiction is the condition of being enslaved to a practice, thought-process, or drug that can be psychologically or physically habit-forming (or both) to such an extent that it causes harm or disruptions to daily life.

As a kid, a ruler was one of my closest friends and this was not because I liked to measure things. It's actually the gold standard for creating straight edges for note-taking. As a teenager, my neat and tidy bedroom was my safe haven. I followed all the rules. Every. Single. One. I studied to my heart's content and worked my mediocre tennis-playing rear end up to the #1 spot by my senior year in high school. I twitched in the presence of clutter, and when I became a mom, my stomach tumbled when my kids colored outside the lines or didn't follow school rules. If perfection was my goal, achievements and rule-following were my means to get there. 

In my perfection, I learned all the Biblical commandments. I promised to love God, love my enemies, turn the other cheek, give away my possessions, and confront difficult situations and people in love and truth. I learned to speak the "church language" and memorize Scripture. I led Bible studies and small groups. On paper, I was the perfect Christian. So, how did my rigorous meticulousness  - my pretty little life - usher in any disobedience at all? If anyone dug more than two centimeters down into my soul, they would have balked at the hypocrisy. Mind you, I did. I didn't know it was there either.

I didn't realize that in my perfect little world, I actually couldn't love my enemies because I was judging them. In my perfect little world, I wasn't able to turn the other cheek because I felt far too much betrayal when others didn't treat me like I thought I deserved to be treated. See, perfectionists take a lot of things personally. In my perfect little world, I couldn't give away everything because I felt I had to hoard my successes and achievements to prove I was worthy of the reputation I had gained.

Then, came the spiritual narcissism... In my perfect little world, I couldn't meet others in love because there was an overabundance of truth, and I came across as a critic. Little miss perfect couldn't even comprehend others' struggles because I was so busy hiding, compartmentalizing, and denying my own.

The next step to my downward spiral was practical atheism. In essence, I was doing everything "right" and by the Book (literally). I became all too independent and self-sufficient. My quiet times with God became less frequent. After all, I had figured out this thing called life, and at times, made it look easier than it truthfully was. I was so involved in reaching my own personal goals and dreams that I forgot to ask God what His plan for me was. I guess you could say I forgot God altogether. And, that's when the idolatry began.

My perfect little world leaped onto the top of the podium, knocking the Lord right off from the spot He rightfully owns. My perfectionism had crossed the line. It was adversely affecting my life, specifically my relationship with God and by ability to love others. 

Then, my perfect little world took a misstep, one for which even I had not planned. It tripped and fell off the top of that podium to crack wide open on the pavement below...

(Stay Tuned for Part 2)

Influenced by my May 16th talk at icuTalks (click for video), 1 John 1:8, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Luke 6:37, Matthew 7:1, my struggles with perfectionism, my life as an adoptive mom, my story as told in the book Clay Jar, Cracked, and my prayer life.

©2012-2017 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar, Cracked: When We're Broken But Not Shattered is available now on Amazon, at Barnes & Noble, and other retailers, as well as at www.cortneydonelson.com! Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information and to learn about the "I'm a Clay Jar" Encourager Class for groups! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly. 

I Know that I Know, and It Doesn't Matter By Cortney Donelson

It's a declaration. A shaming statement. The one I know isn't true but for some frustratingly elusive reason, I still get ensnared and agree with it. Recently, I even started to own it. 

"I'm not good enough."

And, there it is. It doesn't always approach me so directly or reveal itself so clearly. Sometimes the source is manipulative, sneaky, or the lie is simply masked as something easier to digest. 

It can be fleeting ungratefulness. I wish I was more (extroverted, funny, personable, eloquent, nurturing ...)

It may be a me-versus-her comparison. I can't do what she just did. 

It could be a veiled judgment. You're swimming in the wrong pond. You aren't skilled in this area.

It might even be a soft threat. It's taking you away from your real responsibilities and making you fail at them too. 

It's an identity crusher. Who do you think you are?

I look backwards in time and try to determine when I started to embrace the thought. Yes, I know it's not truth. I always have and always will know this. In fact, it's the oldest enemy-promise in The Book. Yet, it still charms me in the darkest sense of the word. It slithers around my insecurities, takes hold of my weaknesses, and pulls me under as oil-thick waves of doubt close around my heart. Actually, it starts as a thought, but it soon morphs into a feeling. I realize I've been "had" when the feeling rolls into a choice. 

I can't do this. Why am I still trying? It's hopeless. (Insert helpless self-condemning sigh.) I should just give up. 

And, I almost did. 

I can't believe I'm sharing this. But, I must. If I continue to sit with it in my secret places, the devil will win. It's where he wins all his battles - in the dark. 

So, I'm bringing it to light. 

On two occasions these past two months, I had this thought: I wish I had never even written this book.

I struggle with perfectionism. In fact, I'll be discussing this in greater detail on the stage later this month. For now, know that my whole life has been filled with the weight of expectations. Growing up, life wasn't easy but it was smooth. I worked hard, and it payed off. Though, most assumed that everything was easy for me. I made the straight A's, excelled on all the sports teams, joined all the clubs, and so on. Their labels and expectations turned into my own labels and expectations. So much so that if anything was difficult, I thought I wasn't supposed to be doing it. 

And, that's where the world and a life following Christ intersected with a sonic boom. 

In order to write Clay Jar, Cracked, I spent three years staying up late at night while the rest of my family slept. I needed the quiet ... the space to write. To cry. To write again. I had never been a very good writer and have no formal training, so I had to learn how to write. My ever-patient editor and I spent hours on the phone painstakingly going through each paragraph to ensure my story flowed well for the readers. Three. Long. Years. 

That was the easy part. 

It took another two years of self-publishing and then for the more traditional publishing process. There were covers to design, back cover contents to write, photographs to take, a biography to write, genre comparisons to make, price points to research, copyrighting to work through, phone meetings, marketing calls, fundraisers, book launches to plan,  .... 

That wasn't the hard part either. 

No, the "Not Good Enough Lie" was reserved for this third stage. The enemy was waiting for when I was the most deeply invested and the most fatigued to snake into my mind and wreak havoc in my soul. As we all know, it's when he's most effective - when we're at our weakest. 

This third stage is the most critical. It's the point when most authors fail, for it's when we're most likely to give up. This segment is the on-going, long-term commitment to promote our stories and our messages, despite the needle on the gage moving up only tics at a time. Sometimes, the needle even falls back to zero. It's the most disheartening point of an author's journey. I hate it. 

All I ever wanted was to share my story in order to be a source of hope for others, but this world of books, publishing, competition, and other stressful activities dragged me away from my purpose. I had become so focused on numbers, finances, what other authors were or were not doing, and on what book buyers were thinking and doing, that I lost site of the WHY. I actually forgot why I had written my book. I forgot that God was in control. 

I started minimizing God's power and plan as I bought into the lie that it was all up to me, and that I wasn't good enough. Not good enough a marketer. Not dynamic enough a speaker. Not extroverted enough for interviews. So, I almost quit. The wrong side almost won. 

Thankfully, I'm not alone, and God reminded me from where my strength and power can come if I just let Him do His work. 

I am good enough because I have the Holy Spirit. I am good enough because God equips those He calls. I am good enough because I don't have to figure it all out; He already has. I am good enough because I don't have to be perfect; He already is. 

2 Timothy 4:17 --

But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me.

And, He stands with and strengthens you too.  

Influenced by rest and relaxation, Philippians 3:12-15, 2 Corinthians 13:9, 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, my story as told in the book Clay Jar, Cracked, and my prayer life.

©2012-2017 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar, Cracked: When We're Broken But Not Shattered is available now on Amazon, at Barnes & Noble, and other retailers, as well as at www.cortneydonelson.com! Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information and to learn about the "I'm a Clay Jar" Encourager Class for groups! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly. 

"For the Humility" By Cortney Donelson

Image Cred: Unknown

Humility is perhaps the most mysterious of all the moral qualities for which we strive to understand and embrace. One could make a compelling argument that for someone to claim humility for herself might indicate its absence. As I prayerfully considered my word for 2017, this virtue emerged to color the lens through which I am now viewing the world for twelve months. I never appreciated the many facets of humility – until now. 

My simple mind had a simplistic definition. Humility would entail setting others above or ahead of myself. “No, friend ... you first” became my mantra. I used Philippians 2:3 as the foundation of my word of the year. It’s the Scripture that suggests we “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” 

Never could I have anticipated the full measure of the meaning of humility – the very fullness that God was hoping I would discover through the circumstances that were ahead. Not once had I considered that humility would have little to do with my book launch, speaking engagements, and other possible “look at what I did” traps. See, that was where my fear lay. When you put a personal and provocative story about yourself and your marriage out into the public eye where it is praised, it becomes all too easy to fall into the snares of pride and self-significance. I expected that God strategically placed “humility” on my heart in order to remind me that my story was for His glory, my book was written through His gifting, my forgiveness was His first, and love and grace are meaningless without the cross. 

As Clay Jar, Cracked: When We’re Broken But Not Shattered publishes today, I find myself in the most humbling of circumstances, and they have nothing to do with a book or a heart-wrenching story of redemption from five years ago. Before I get excited and start checking sales numbers, before my big red carpet event in Nashville, Tennessee, before I begin scheduling more events and sharing my testimony in the most public of ways ... before all that, I am being forced to position myself even lower. Apparently, I must not just get lower; I must dive down to the depths. God has shown me it’s necessary that I experience a facet of humility in which I never imagined having to engage – especially not RIGHT NOW. My jar has cracked again and I have been reminded of the poignant messages within my book. 

God has effectively (and lovingly) lowered my position in order to wholly humble my condition. Through circumstances beyond our control, my family and I are now homeless. I prefer the term houseless. After all, we have options, and I do not want to trivialize the condition of those who are, in fact, homeless in the truest sense of the word. None-the-less, we are somewhat stranded. We own one and a half acres of unprepared land and a few pieces of furniture. Oh, and we do have one and a half cars to our name. At this very moment, as millions of people have access to our broken story and I am actively praying they find a hope and a joy that eclipses any human understanding despite what circumstances scream out, this family of four is living in a rented two-bedroom apartment with our somewhat big and absolutely needy dog. One of my littles is even sleeping on an air mattress. My circumstances are less than ideal, and I had started to lose some of that hope and joy I so articulately describe in my book. 

How did we get to this position? My husband and I had a dream. A goal. It was quite a God-sized goal. In fact, I believe it was a God-honoring one. My husband and I had decided to sell our ample-sized house to build one half its size. Our objective was three fold. First, down cost – not because we necessarily had to, but because we wanted to. God had impressed upon our hearts to give above the level we had been giving, to travel on mission more often, and to serve in a greater capacity through our financial position. Together, we created a life goal that purposed us to gift others each month with a greater amount than our monthly mortgage. Second, we aimed to downsize. We were tired of time wasted during yard work, house cleaning, and all the upkeep that comes with a larger home. We wanted more of the “3 F’s” – family time, fun time, and free time. Third, we desired out-of-doors space. We wanted our kids to play in and explore nature, enjoying more privacy, peace, and quiet than our neighborhood could offer. Our dream was to build an ultra modern and ultra small home. 

So, we found 1.4 acres and bought it. 

Then, we sold our house. 

Then, we gave away all our décor. 

Then, we sold all our furniture except for a few items such a kitchen table for the apartment. 

Then, we hired a builder and an architect. 

Then ... construction costs skyrocketed. 

I’m talking like 100%. 

Now, we are without a builder. Without an architect. Without furniture. Without a home. Without a plan. That last part is the worst part for yours truly. No matter how carefully we had calculated and double-checked resources against budget through the initial stages of the process, the plan backfired. Few expected construction costs to rise as sharply as they did. High risk, high reward ... or, in some unfortunate cases, the greater the disappointment. 

As we sold the house we had lived in for 13 years and now have lost the house we were planning to build, I have been introduced to humility in the most tangible sense of the word ... the most worldly sense. After the inevitable journey through shock, anger, and despair, I believe I’m now feeling "okay." True, our dream was kinda crushed. Like a bug. We have no viable strategy and housing prices and interest rates continue to rise. Even the apartment lease price is going up in August. (I think I’m typing myself back out onto the ledge here...)

BUT ... THERE’S GOD ... We do know the One who does have a plan. We intimately know Him. Our goal was to give more. Serve more. Help others. Love others more. Isn’t that the position and condition God has, in fact, already placed us? Isn’t this where true humility is found? Being in a position and a condition to love others more than self because we have little left to distract us? Letting go of our possessions to be free from worldly idols, self-appointed dreams, and do it the way God sees best? Living in a community of all new people, many of whom don’t know the Lord? Isn’t this what my husband and I were aiming for? Don’t we trust God's promise that He will not forsake us? 

Isn’t this facet of humility unexpected but perhaps worth it? 

I’m learning the answer is yes. 

Prayer: Father God, You are the one true God, the only One from whom lasting hope, peace, and love come. While circumstances seem to break us, we know that as long as we are anchored in your hope, in Your Son, we can rest in the promise that You are a good God and One who has a plan so much better than our own. Thank You for this lesson in true humility and for not letting me get by with the surface level lesson. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by my prayer life, the parable of the rich ruler in Luke 18, James 4:10, Matthew 6:19-21, Mark 10:24-25, Hebrews 13:5, the book Radical by David Platt, and my book Clay Jar, Cracked: When We’re Broken But Not Shattered. 

©2012-2017 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar, Cracked: When We're Broken But Not Shattered is available now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and other retailers, as well as at www.cortneydonelson.com! Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information and to learn about the "I'm a Clay Jar" Encourager Class for groups! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly. 

Desiring Justice By Cortney Donelson

"Stolen" from publicdomainpictures.net

I think we all desire justice. I wonder if we truly recognize what justice is in the eyes of Jesus? What if the real meaning of justice can be found by experiencing it from a Holy perspective? What if it isn’t about righting wrongs or punishing the guilty? Perhaps the justice Jesus introduced to the world is more about the reconciliation of relationships rather than about the consequences due...

Every time someone asked Jesus, “How can I get to heaven?” he replied, “Love God and love people.” He never responded with “Pray a prayer” or “Stop doing wrong.” Jesus is all about love and relationship. God sent His Son to die in our place in order to reconcile us to Him, to mend the broken relationship caused by our sin. Jesus took on this sin, despite being sinless Himself.  He was tried, punished, and killed in the name of “justice.” Despite these injustices, God’s true justice prevailed. Death was overcome. Christ is risen and continues to be our truth, our way, and our life – our gateway to eternity with God.  

Love God. Love people. Justice among each other can be achieved in the same way. Think about it. When someone hurts us, can the wrong ever truly be undone? When words slice our hearts, can they be taken back with revenge? When trust is broken, will separation repair it? When someone intentionally takes another’s life, can we punish him or her enough to bring the person back to life? The simple answer is no. Rather, justice can be achieved through the reconciliation of that broken relationship, when hearts are made whole and love prevails. Justice is forgiveness. Justice is mercy that leads to redemption. Justice cannot stand apart from grace if we are to love people the way God intended – the way He loves us.

While there will be a day when we all face God as judge, Jesus provides us with the promise that true justice has already been won if we put our faith in Him. Forgiveness. Repentance. Mercy. Perhaps these are the foundations of true justice, one in which loving rightness redeems so much more than punishment ever could. 

Prayer: I am so thankful that You are the Father of justice. I pray we all realize that the gold standard of justice was found when Jesus bridged the gap between You and us.  May we always seek reconciliation, making ourselves less and You more. In Jesus's name, I pray. Amen.

Influenced by Micah 6:8, my story as told in the book Clay Jar, Cracked, and my prayer life.

©2012-2017 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar, Cracked: When We're Broken But Not Shattered is available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retailers, as well as at www.cortneydonelson.com! Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information and to learn about the "I'm a Clay Jar" Encourager Class for groups! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly. 

Mistaken Authenticity By Cortney Donelson

One definition of authenticity is the condition that exists when what we believe or feel on the inside aligns with what we say or portray on the outside.

I once worked for a consultant who was truly gifted in the area of organizational development. She could take a struggling company and turn it around so that within a year or so, it was a prosperous organization with a culture that reinforced everyone's importance. People (and the bottom line) thrived. However, her own organization continued to struggle for years. Then one day the realization hit her. She was not applying the same principles she was teaching others to her own business. Authenticity was missing. When she began to walk her talk, so to speak, prosperity returned.

If we shout from the rooftops we love Jesus but our behaviors include excluding him from our lives except on Sundays, we are not living authentically. If we say we whole-heartedly accept people who are broken, but we shun them from activities or judge them as less than, we are not living authentically. If we know we are forgiven by our Holy Creator but we continue to live in shame and not accept the freedom found in His forgiveness, we are not living authentically.

My goal is to live authentically, to portray all I know about our Living God through my words and choices.

This past week, I was convicted in an area where I have not been living authentically. With all my heart and soul, I understand daily alone time with God is crucial to prosperity and peace in every aspect of my life. I write about this truth. I encourage others in this truth. I invite others to participate in this truth. Yet, I had allowed about ten days go by without setting aside that time with Jesus. It was easier for me to create quote images, prayerfully plan classes, promote my book, and even think about messages to develop and write for this blog than for me to sit with my Bible and listen, pray, and listen again.

Not surprisingly, I noticed a change these past couple of weeks. I became so good at scripture look-ups that I lost the ability to apply the very scripture I was instilling in others to my own life. I lost my position as student in Christ and traded it for the role of an inauthentic teacher. My life was negatively impacted. I lost peace. I lost patience. I lost self-control. In just ten days, I had seemed to lose every fruit of the Spirit.

Rather than operating from the power of the Holy Spirit, I was trying to control my life through my own strength, which I want to emphatically state is not wise!

Thankfully, God made it abundantly clear to me these last couple of days that thinking about Him, teaching about Him, and even participating in group prayer every once in a while is not enough. I - we - are not meant to operate without spending quality time with Him every day. Planning a Christian lesson plan to awaken someone else's faith is not a substitute for allowing the Holy Spirit to fuel my own faith walk every single day.

No more.

I can no longer replace my time with God, even if it's with other Christians, a faith-based job, a Christian Encourager Class, writing a devotion, or anything else that may fool me into thinking it's as good as spending my own time with my Lord and Savior. How can I pour out to others when I'm not being poured into myself?

What about you? Are you replacing time with God with something the enemy is tricking you into believing is just as "good?" ... just as meaningful to your faith journey? Let's work together to restore this truth... Our alone time with God is paramount to our prosperity and cannot be replaced, even if it is with other good stuff.

Or, perhaps there is another area of your life where authenticity is lacking. Do you have a "mistaken authenticity" that needs to be discovered and redeemed? Would love for you to share in the comments. I am sure you're not alone in it!

Prayer: Father God, forgive me for replacing our time together with other things. Forgive my mistaken authenticity. I am grateful for the ways You made me aware of this gap in my life. Because of Your vast love for me, You knew I would not get far on my own. You drew me back to You. I pray we are all convicted in areas where our walk doesn't match our talk. I pray we become wholly authentic. We lift Your name high. In Jesus's name, I pray. Amen.

Influenced by Matthew 6:33, Psalm 46:10, Galatians 5:22, Psalm 119:9, James 4:8, 2 Timothy 2:15, Matthew 6:6, Mark 1:35-37, Faith and Fitness Group with Jill Martin, and my prayer life.

©2012-2017 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney's book, Clay Jar, Cracked: When We're Broken But Not Shattered is available now as an ebook on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retailers, as well as in paperback at www.cortneydonelson.com! It will be available world-wide in bookstores and libraries through Morgan James Publishing when publicly released on March 7, 2017. Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information and to learn about the "I'm a Clay Jar" Encourager Class for groups! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly. 

10 What If's That Will Revolutionize Your 2017: You Need Only Pick One By Cortney Donelson

There will be thousands of blog entries, devotions, articles, and social media posts today. People associate the beginning of a new year with the chance to gain clarity, change course, or even start over. I have compiled 10 questions to help guide your desire to transform or feel renewed. I encourage you to select ONE of the "What If" questions below and answer it. Journal about it. Focus on it for the next 30 days. Make one of these questions the one you wake up thinking about, praying about, and making decisions around for one entire month. If you are genuinely looking to change something about your life or yourself, I dare you...

• What if the past was a way to measure how far you've come?

• What if the present was free of distractions?

• What if your future was not viewed through the lens of fear?

• What if temptation was a fleeting annoyance rather than crippling chains around your thoughts and will?

• What if you lived your life as if God was larger in love and more powerfully equipped than what you could ever imagine?

• What if you woke each day praying bold prayers that only God could answer?

• What if your wildest dreams were not dreams at all, but the outcomes of smaller and seemingly easy choices that were made over time?

• What if you used the energy it requires to continue living the life you do not want to instead work toward the life you do want?

• What if you embraced humility with a ferocity that caused you to fully trust that God's plans are grander than your own?

• What if justice was the reconciliation of a relationship and not simply a punishment for a wrong as if that would make it all right?

©2012-2017 Cortney Donelson. All rights reserved.

Cortney Donelson's book, Clay Jar, Cracked: When We're Broken But Not Shattered is available now at www.cortneydonelson.com as a paperback and as an e-book on Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, Books-A-Million, and other retailors! The paperback edition will be available world-wide in bookstores and libraries through Morgan James Publishing when publicly released on March 7, 2017. Visit www.cortneydonelson.com for more information and to learn about the "I'm a Clay Jar" Encourager Class for groups! To schedule speaking engagements, please email Cortney directly.