The Story of our Lives By Cortney Donelson

Source Cred: Unknown

Peace

Joy

Courage

Obedience

The words above may be familiar to you if you have followed my devotions for any length of time. They are the words I have prayerfully used to enter each of the past (now) five years with a focused blueprint of how I wanted to live out that year. These were not words I randomly chose nor were they words I necessarily felt enthusiastic about at the beginning of each year. These words were selected by an intentional time of prayer and discernment. I believe God gave me each word. 

This devotion is my proof of that very statement. God gave me each word, and as I lived out the year with that particular word as the foundation of my decisions and perspective, miracles happened. God showed me the way. His way. 

This year I have a new word, but I’ll reveal it in a bit. First, I would love to take you on a 30,000-foot tour of the past four years of my life. I want you to see how God used those words above to paint a precious story. It’s the story of my life. 

My word for 2012 was peace. After a thoroughly turbulent time in my life, God impressed upon me the need to seek out His peace and restore it in my life. On the brink of divorce, God saved us with His peace. When chaos ruled our schedules, and we were overbooked and under rested, God invited us to find refuge in Jesus. Because of my word, we put aside our busy lives, our unresolved conflict, our unforgiveness, and our constant running around. And, the Prince of Peace came and settled in our home. Every decision we made in 2012 was based on that one virtue. Others who visited our home noticed. An individual who had no idea that my word of the year was peace visited during the summer of 2012 and said, “Your home is so much more peaceful than mine.”  That one statement truly melted my heart and soul. It was my absolute confirmation that just one word can change everything. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for knowing the thing we needed most and providing me with the promptings to focus on peace that year. 

In 2013, peace paved the way for joy. That year brought focused intimacy with God and with family. As we began to settle into our peaceful routine, we found we were happier, more content, rested, hopeful, and full of God. Full of joy. After two years without laughter in our house, we started to remember how to smile. Then joke and giggle. Finally, we remembered how to laugh again. We were living life with full trust in God. He had redeemed our marriage; we were past the chaos of recovery and had found His joy in starting over. God was trustworthy and we knew it deep in our bones. Circumstances were not perfect. In fact, they were difficult. But, we learned that joy is not dependent on our environment. Joy cannot be decreased, taken away, or even given by others. God is joy. 

In 2014, God offered me the word courage. This one scared the you-know-what out of me. I had no idea what magnitude of courage would be required for this particular year. As my devotion to God grew, I discovered that when given much, much is expected in return. Jesus reached out and asked me to be courageous in what He had impressed upon me during the painful years of Marc’s revelation about his addiction. Now, this particular year of 2014, the Holy Spirit showed me that my purpose was going to be revealed and courage would be required. Hurt. Heal. Help. I would need a limitless supply of courage to go against the grain of societal expectations. I was past the hurt. I was through the healing. Now, it was time to help. I was being called to step out of the boat. In 2014, I spent many late nights writing. Writing and revising. Revising and editing. I would sit in my office until 1:00 am or later, typing and crying, getting my story out. I needed the courage to relive the unthinkable. Courage to share the private pieces of my life. Courage to ignore the thoughts that I was not a skilled enough writer. Courage to ignore the opinions of others that I was must be crazy to be this vulnerable. With each passing month, I saw the fruit of all this godly courage.

Obedience. This past year opened with another tough word. I wondered what 2015 would bring. I speculated about what God was going to ask me to do. In March 2015, my book, “Clay Jar Cracked” was published. I thought that was the key to how obedience was going to frame the year. I was obedient in the writing. Obedient in the financial cost. Obedient in sharing my story with others. I learned that obedience is courage in action based on faith and a love for my Savior that surpasses all. We can feel courageous inside, but obedience is what is poured out for others to witness. Yet, God knew my year of obedience wasn’t finished yet. In October, God started to reveal more of how I might be obedient to His call. A couple of weeks before Christmas, I resigned from my absolutely wonderful job. My last day will be in mid-January. I love serving people near and far and sharing in the mission of an organization that is bent on loving others. However, God was calling me to pursue other things. Marriage mentoring. Writing. Speaking. I was saying no to my crazy-amazing job and yes to a path that God was revealing only one paver at a time. It was scary. It was the unknown. But, if I was going to be obedient to my God, I knew it must be in all things, not just the easy things. God restored my marriage and this past year, He opened some downright unexpected doors related to serving others in marriage ministry. He is giving me an opportunity to trust Him and go on yet another amazing journey. There is nothing more thrilling and gratifying than living the life God has created you to live. But, it takes hardcore obedience. I’m all in. 

Look at my words. The order. Their meanings. The story. They paint a picture of a wildly adoring God who will stop at nothing to ensure good things for those who love Him. 

This new year, my word is reflect. It’s the verb. I prayed hard about this one. God is not giving me a destination or state (of reflection); God wants the active tense – reflect. God is asking me to reflect on all that He’s done. He is pursuing me so that I might pursue Him. I have a secret desire. I am not going to share it (it’s between God and me), but it will require me to reflect. It will require quiet times, solitude, and prayer. I plan to reflect on His character, all that He has provided, and draw close to Him as He draws close to me. I will reflect on who I am, why I'm here, what my goals are, and where I came from.  I hope to really get to KNOW Jesus this year. Watchfulness. Expectancy. Intimacy.  

I have intentionally pursued my words each year, taking them seriously, and keeping them alive in my daily life. As my mini reward, God seemed to say to me, “Look back and see how they are writing a beautiful story of your life.” It’s one where God can be seen working out the details through His love and grace. I am so very grateful and humbled. 

What if you prayed for annual words from God? And, down the road, you looked back at them and saw the script of your own beautiful story. What would the words reveal about how God has led you, fed you, healed you, and asked you to reach and love others? Wouldn’t you want to gaze at the beauty of His workmanship? After all, it's the story of your life.

Prayer: Father God, thank You for your grace. I can’t help but fall to my knees as I look back and see how the words You gave me for each of the past five years have influenced my decisions and placed me in a position to know You better. To love You better. To serve You better. I am simply humbled. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by my prayer life, my book “Clay Jar Cracked”, Luke 12:48, Matthew 16:24-25, Romans 8:28, Acts 26:16, the song “My Story” by Big Daddy Weave, and the book “Interrupted” by Jen Hatmaker

©2015 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, "Clay Jar Cracked," is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. 

A Christmas Season Revelation By Cortney Donelson

Photo Cred - Unknown

Our plans are carefully crafted, sometimes developed months or years in advance. We research them, discuss them, write them down, turn them into resolutions or life goals, and sacrifice much time and resources to guarantee they happen. Our plans are like pretty packages wrapped with ornate paper and embellished with ribbon and bows. They have been meticulously thought out. Like careful and intentional gifts, they’ve been placed under the tree, beneath the lights and ornaments, shining in their wrappers. Our plans have nicknames such as dreams, hopes, and pursuits. Our plans have plans!

When the time comes to unwrap our precisely planned plans, something inevitably happens. The beautiful wrapping paper and bows fall away. We lift the lids. What we find surprises us. Then, our surprise turns to heartache. Inside our packaged plans, we find disappointment. We find loss, pain, and hurt. We find wasted time, financial stress, and greed. Some of our plans are stale. They are downright boring. Some come late. Others are too early. Most of the plans hold no weight and meet no purpose. Our plans end up looking small, despite the grand packaging. Fear and worry have taken up real estate in the box too. Regret pokes his head out last and smiles at us. 

We are undoubtedly confused. How did these ornately crafted and carefully wrapped plans end up so … insignificant? So … boring? How do these plans leave us feeling unfulfilled? We worked hard to ensure that our plans would be great. They were supposed to make us happy. They were supposed to make us feel important. They were supposed take us places. They had seemed so good!

Then, we see another box under the tree. It is wrapped with simple brown paper. It possesses no colorful ribbon or bows. From the outside, this gift seems unappealing and useless. First impressions would likely cause most people to neglect it until perhaps the end of the unwrapping chaos of Christmas morning. As we look at it, we discover a small split in the brown paper.  We stare at the tear, still reeling from the disappointment of our own plans, and a light starts to shine from the hole in the brown paper… 

The light gets brighter and we look at the tag. It’s a gift from our Father. We start to unwrap the brown paper. We remove one layer after another, and as we do, the light shines brighter and further, illuminating the whole room. We take the lid off this box, curious. We gasp in awe.

Inside this simply wrapped gift, we find His plans. They are filled with love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy. That’s not all. These plans scream adventure. His plans are overflowing with purpose. We feel the weight of significance, and we keep unpacking the contents of the box. We find contentment. We find goodness. We find patience. We find all the things we need today and for every day there after… Wisdom… Hope… Joy! The gifts are unending, and they come in His perfect timing. The light shines brighter and brighter, until we no longer see our box of plans. We only see His. 

We only want His.

This Christmas season, I encourage you to spend some time taking a look back. Think about all of your carefully laid out plans through the years. What were they? How did they unfold? What transpired? Then, consider His plans. When you set aside your elaborate plans, pushed through the fear of the unknown, and followed Him, what adventures did you find? What purpose did you discover? How has your life changed? I’m convinced you’ll celebrate Christmas differently if you spend a few minutes and write it all out.

My Plans – Graduate with a Masters degree in Physical Therapy and make a more than comfortable living, watching the clock each day and working for the weekend

His Plans – Set aside my PT career and find explosive purpose and joy in serving the least of these in Haiti for two years and then again in writing and speaking about the story God is writing through my life

My Plans – Hoard financial security, saving relentlessly out of fear and greed, for a future I can’t see … or worse, buying material things (the bigger house, the nicer car, etc.) that don’t fill that deep place in my heart that feels empty

His Plans – Tithe, trusting Him with every piece of my life, including the financial piece and watching Him provide time and time again, strengthening my relationship with Him through trust. Give, generously and anonymously, loving others in their time of need and making a difference for God’s Kingdom

My Plans – Give birth

His Plans – Adopt two children who remind me every day what love really means

My Plans – Marry a man who will do no wrong and never hurt me, a man I can put on a pedestal and prioritize above all else

His Plans – Marry a man who will teach me about courage, faith, forgiveness, humility, sacrifice, meekness, love, and mercy, and remind me that Jesus is first and foremost above all else

My Plans – Live out the institution of marriage

His Plans – Believe in and live out the relationship of marriage

My Plans – Write fiction … or more likely, not at all

His Plans – Write a hybrid devotional/biography that will change the trajectory of marriages in crisis and encourage people in the midst of tragedy

My Plans – Live a safe, comfortable, prosperous life along the lines of the American dream and perhaps retire early, wondering what the point is

His Plans – Live a risk-filled, hope-filled, adventurous, meaningful, impactful life filled with authenticity, vulnerability, and purpose that leaves me longing for eternity with Him

Prayer: Father God, I am helplessly grateful that You are always good and always loving. I trust you with everything, even when those things seem bad or hard. I trust You because You are trustworthy. I pray that You would bless me in ways I don’t know I even need, showing me Your plans and Your purposes for me. Shine Your light on the path You want me to travel. I will do my best to walk in it. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by my prayer life, 1 Peter 4:10, James 1:17, Jeremiah 29:11, and Ephesians 2:8

©2015 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, "Clay Jar Cracked," is available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions.  

In His Humanity By Cortney Donelson

Photo Source: www.gurusfeet.com

Jesus was fully God. 

He was also fully human. 

This Christmas season, perhaps I can grasp (again) what this means for my life… 

Jesus left the comfort of His home to be with us. Immanuel. God with us. He did not put His title of King of kings or Lord of lords on the shelf as He entered our world as a newborn infant. Despite His needs, His lowliness, and His new position, He did not stop being God. Clothing himself in flesh did not erase who He was and is … the Messiah. 

On the flip side, He did not act out His divinity when He arrived. He did not come wearing purple robes or with a silver spoon in His mouth. He came to serve. He did not dip into His godliness in order to live with and teach us. I know all this intellectually, maybe even emotionally. But, can I truly understand what this means for me spiritually?

Sometimes I read about Jesus’ life and the miracles He performed and think they were done because of His divine power. Raising the dead, healing the sick, walking on water. More often than not, I imagine what the disciples must have felt as they walked and learned alongside the Almighty. (I’m actually quite envious.) And, maybe I should read the miracles through those lenses. But, perhaps I am failing to read these stories as Jesus intended, as templates of the miracles I could be part of, if I would just do a couple of things differently. 

What if Jesus’ miracles were not performed out of His divinity, but in His humanity? What if Jesus was showing us how to balance work (serving), rest, and prayer in a way that brought us so intimately close to our Heavenly Father that His power would then work through us to do His will (His miracles)? In the middle of some of His busiest times when people seemed to need Him the most, Jesus left to be alone with His Father. What if we left for a bit every day to be alone with the Father as Jesus did? What if every minute of every day was experienced with God? What if we could get so relationally close to God that we became the vessels that He used to raise the dead, heal the sick, or even walk on water? 

The evidence of this possibility is found with Peter. Peter was human. He doubted. He denied. He worried. He battled with pride. He also raised the dead, healed the sick, and for a moment, walked on water. Was Peter more special than you or me? I don’t think so. I think his relationship with God became so intimate, that God’s power in the form of the Holy Spirit coursed through him. Peter made Jesus’ faith his own faith. We can too. God’s Kingdom, with all its power, works through the communication found within a network of extremely personal relationships. Relationships between God and us. 

Recently, I have read a few books that have shed “light” on Jesus’ life here on earth and what it means for mine. William Paul Young writes, “A bird is defined not by being grounded but by his ability to fly. Remember this, humans are defined not by their limitations, but by the intentions God has for them; not by what they seem to be, but by everything it means to be created in God’s image.” 

We are not defined by our sin, circumstances, or choices. We are defined by the purposes God has for us. We were made for intimacy with God, through Jesus Christ. When we reach such a level of relationship with Him, miracles happen despite our humanity. I’m now convinced that these miracles happen because of our humanity! Dallas Willard says it this way, “The spiritually born exhibit a life deriving from an invisible spiritual realm and its powers.” 

When I was moving through the most difficult time of my life, my intimacy with God grew immensely. He was all I had left. When I leaned on Him and embraced His love and the relationship He desired to have with me, miracles happened. An unlikely restoration of my marriage. A peace I can’t explain. Courage and boldness that I never knew. People often tell me that they could not do what I did – to stick it out in the face of the circumstances in which I found myself. Please stop! It is not I who should be hailed a hero for anything. It is the Spirit of God who guided and prompted me as I drew closer to the only One who can save anything or anyone. 

Jesus was fully God. Jesus was fully human. It was in His humanity that He performed miracles. It was through His intimacy with the Father that the miracles occurred. Same for Peter. Same for you. Same for me. 

Prayer: Father God, we celebrate Immanuel! Thank You for coming to earth as you did and for Jesus, who has shown us the way. I pray this Christmas season, that I draw close to You, feeling, tasting, experiencing Your love for me in ways that produce miracles. I pray that no one believes their power comes from themselves, but acknowledges You always. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by “Hearing God” by Dallas Willard, “4 Chair Discipling” by Dann Spader, “The Shack” by William Paul Young, all four Gospels of the Bible, 2 Corinthians 4, and my prayer life. 

©2015 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, "Clay Jar Cracked," is now available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. 

Spectator of the World By Cortney Donelson

Source: Dailyspectator.com

Do you ever experience moments when words or phrases jump out at you? You read something, or someone says something, and you just know that God is trying to get your attention? I don’t think that happens to only me. I would bet my chocolate bars that it happens all the time and to all of us. Perhaps the better question is, “What happens when we actually stop and reflect on what God is saying to us?” 

The pastor at my church often poses two questions that have now become a daily mantra in our household: “What is God telling you?” and “What are you going to do about it?”

This morning, I was participating in a prayer meeting at my son’s school. It’s a small, private, Christian school that has truly answered so many of our prayers that I could cry just thinking about it. The facilitator read from Ann Voskamp’s book, “The Greatest Gift.” Can I just tell you that I adore Ann Voskamp! No, I have never met her, but I feel like I know her! I led a bible study based on her book, “One Thousand Gifts,” and I fell in love with her deep affection for reflection. 

So, as I listened to the excerpt this morning, a seemingly simple four-word phrase moved me so strongly that I took my pen and wrote it down on my prayer card. As I wrote, God started unloading on my heart. I heard most of the remaining excerpt read out loud, but I was also listening to God as He held my hand and encouraged me to start writing devotions again. This four-word phrase was to be the next title. And, the content flooded my mind as I sat in that prayer room. 

Spectator of the world. Ann Voskamp was encouraging the readers to take in all the beauty and majesty of the Creator each and every day. To soak in His love through what is around us. And, it was an amazing message … one that moved a couple ladies to tears. 

However, God was telling me that my next devotion was about how I needed to get back to being a spectator of the world. I have been spending so much time trying to be PART OF the world, CONTROL the world, and be important TO the world, that I’m missing the very crucial fact that I am NOT OF this world. None of us are! God created us to be spectators of this place as we move through this part of history – on our way to our true home in the Kingdom of Heaven. The world is simply a rest stop. He placed us here for a mission. A holy purpose. And, that purpose, my dear friends, is not to get lost in this fallen place, striving for earthly perfection, human praise, or society’s accolades.  

I have not been resting or spectating much lately. These past six (or twenty!) months, I have lost myself in the busyness of this world. I have rushed. I have stressed. I have worried. I have controlled. Not good! God impressed upon me this past week that He is saying, enough, my sweet child. I have not called you to become part of this chaotic world. I have called you to enter it, reflect on it, discern what you see, write about it as I lead you, and to be a simple spectator so that you might hear me clearly so that you might lead others to me too. Spectators start by watching and listening. They still feel! They feel compassion, elation, disappointment, and joy, just as the disciples did. Those emotions then create the right action plan. Spectators cheer when things go well (like when the Great Commandment reigns). They cry when things don’t. They build up others – always!

I need to get back to being a spectator, rather than a player, of this world. I must remain in love with God. I was designed for a greater place and purpose than what "here" offers. He reminded me that I was too busy joining the world that I was losing sight of Him and His world.  If I don’t sit back, reflect, listen, hear, abide, and watch what He is doing around me – what He is doing in the Kingdom of God - I will miss the whole thing. 

Dang. I don’t want that! 

Prayer: Father God, forgive me! I have been so busy being a player of the world that I’ve lost my way. I’ve been trying to be and do all things that matter to this world but not to You. Teach me to rest in You, find peace in You, and guide me to see You all around me. Jesus showed us how to manage the best life rhythm – going off on His own to spend time with You and hear You – sometimes in His busiest moments. Teach me to shake off worldly expectations and discern the true purpose You have for me. I’m ready. Thank you for Your grace which flows relentlessly. I need every bit of it. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Influenced by 1 John 2, Romans 12:2, James 4:4, Colossians 2:8, Matthew 6:24, 1 John 3:13

©2015 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

My book, "Clay Jar Cracked," is now available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, and including print, e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. 

The Three Sheep - Part II By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

The petite girl stood in the waves in her pink bikini. Her blonde hair was a wet stringy mess that fell onto her shoulders. Another girl was taking her picture with a phone. The first girl posed, a few times with her hand on her hip, then a couple while she touched her hair. I sat about twenty-five yards away on the beach. I could not see her face, but I could feel her. I knew in my soul that this girl did not simply desire to look beautiful, she wanted to know she was beautiful. Perhaps it was her ultra skinny exterior. Or, maybe it was the way she moved, striving to hit that perfect pose for the camera. I felt that tug on my heart I’ve come to know – the one with God’s fingerprints all over it. 

The photographer returned her phone, and I looked away. I wasn’t sure why I was drawn to this girl. Something about her seemed desperate. However, I went back to reading my book. About ten minutes later, the friend I had mom-napped for a day (so we could drive to the ocean and stick our toes in the sand) was standing in the water. Girl-in-Pink approached her holding her camera phone. I watched them interact, unable to hear their words. My friend took Girl-in-Pink’s phone and proceeded to take more pictures of this one who had captured my heart while she stood in the ocean. 

When she finished, my friend came back to our beach spot and sat down. We exchanged our observations. This girl was scary thin. I asked about her age. My friend replied that it was difficult to tell because her face was worn – “like she’s led a hard life … you know what I mean?” We watched the girl walk back up the beach, curious to see where she would sit, to find out with whom she had come. As she walked, she seemed to be yelling at herself. Her left hand motioning up and down in quick spurts, as if she was reprimanding someone. She walked to a single towel on the sand, lay on her back, covered her face with her shirt, and appeared to cry. 

My heart exploded in my chest. I felt her raw pain more than I saw it. It was strange. There were hundreds of people at the beach this particular day. I had been watching many of them all morning. Yes, I people-watch. Don’t you? Yet, something about this girl struck me. I stood up, walked over to where she lay, and sat in the sand next to her. “Are you okay?” 

She removed her shirt from her face. Her cheekbones were sunken and her blue eyes looked hollow. Her eyes glistened with tears, but they held no shine. Dull eyes. 

“My name is Cortney. I noticed you were alone and seemed upset. Is there something I can do to help?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine… Do you know there is a God who loves you and who wants you to know you’re beautiful?”

She looked at me, caught off guard. I continued, “I don’t believe in coincidences. I think God put me on this beach today for a reason. I was planning to go to the beach just south of here, but at the last minute, I felt strongly that this beach was where I should be. I think God led me here to tell you that He sees you. He loves you, and He wants you to know you’re beautiful.” 

Girl-in-Pink’s tears poured, but her eyes were no longer hollow. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.” I prayed for her, stood up, and walked back to my chair.

…

I wish this story were true. I wish I could go back in time – hit the rewind button if you will and play it out to completion as I described above. In reality, I stayed in my chair the whole time. I didn’t act out of obedience as I felt God prompting me to do. Here was a wandering sheep, a lost girl who had no idea that God was watching and caring. My friend and I really did end up spontaneously on that beach that day. We were heading to another location, but my friend and I changed our plans suddenly about twenty minutes from the coast. No reason. Just God. 

But, when I felt the whisper of God to reach out to this lost sheep, I didn’t. I wish I had a good explanation. I don’t. I rationalized that it was just me wanting to help everyone, and that it wasn’t God prompting me. I rationalized that they were my thoughts, and my thoughts alone, to reach out to people. So, I ignored those thoughts, thinking, I can’t just talk to everyone I see that seems upset. 

Can I share some truth here? The more intimate our relationship with God gets, the more we will start to know and understand His character. The more we know His character, the more we start to think like Him. So, those thoughts were not just mine. Here was a girl in desperate need of affirmation – to know she was not only beautiful, but loved. Isn’t it just like God to want to reach her? Isn’t it just like humanity to stay planted in our seats? 

I felt God’s tug and rationalized it away. I ran the other way, acting no differently than Jonah. The pastor of the church I attend asks us this, “What is God prompting you to do?” Then, he follows it up with, “and what are you going to do about it?” 

I sat in church the following day, and my own tears threatened to fall. I was not obedient, and as the pastor said the following, “Even reluctant obedience will make a difference,” I was gently reminded (aka convicted) that my word of the year is obedience. I silently repented, apologizing for missing an opportunity to show God’s love to someone who was obviously hurting. Then, I prayed that God would find someone else to reach this girl. That was one of the most difficult and humbling prayers I have ever uttered. “God, I messed up. Please use someone else who will be obedient in order to get your message to this precious daughter of yours.” Ouch. It should have been me. 

Next time, I pray it is.

There are wandering sheep in every city, every state, and every country. You don’t have to travel around the world to reach the lost, although you may be called to do so. You’ll find them in your schools, your workplaces, and your neighborhoods … even on the beach. These are the sheep Jesus ran after while He walked the earth as man. They are the sheep we ought to run after too. Our mission is to introduce Jesus to those who don’t know Him. Our target audience should always be the wandering sheep. In fact, it’s not just our mission; it’s The Great Commission.

Prayer - Father God, I’m so sorry. I don’t ever want my disobedience to get in the way of bringing your Good News of Great Joy to others. Thank You for running after us all, not only the wandering sheep, but those sheep who desire to follow you but who mess up and struggle daily with sinful hearts. Your love is everlasting and your grace is not only sufficient but, frankly, undeserved. Yet, that’s what grace is, isn’t it? For that we are so very thankful. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Influenced by the Book of Jonah, Acts 1:8, Jude 23, and Matthew 28:18-20. (There are many other scriptural references and parables told by Jesus about seeking out the lost. These are the specific ones I have studied for this devotion.)

©2015 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

"Clay Jar Cracked," a new book by Cortney Donelson is now available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, including e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. 

The Three Sheep - Part I By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

I have written and then rewritten this devotion four (ok, maybe six or seven) times.  I have prayed over it and have lay awake in bed thinking about it – perhaps for months now. It is that important to me that I get it right and that it is a challenging message that doesn’t twist words or sound too harsh. I just want it to be pleasing to God.  

In the past, I have struggled with a precarious balancing act: wanting to avoid judgment, knowing I must take the (many) planks out of my own eye first, and longing to minister to those who were engaging in life apart from their publicly professed beliefs. My heart is burdened for those who consider themselves Christian believers but who do not really have a deep and personal relationship with Christ and have not experienced first-hand what that relationship and living to follow God can bring to their lives. 

When I write, “living apart from professed beliefs,” I am specifically thinking about idleness and a lack of authentic Christian living. These seem prevalent in our society, particularly here in the United States. Idleness is not the same as rest. It is a habitual choice to avoid working or engaging in meaningful activity (in this case, for Christ). The key word is meaningful. I was guilty of such things not too long ago. In fact, I still fall short at times. So please, as you read this devotion, consider my heart. I struggle often with James 1:22 - drawing close to hear God and then living in accordance with everything He wants for (and from) me. After all, it’s a hard course to follow. Sometimes I run the other way, much like Jonah. Other times, I twist what I know to be true to fit my own selfish desires. My goal is not to finger-point but to provide (albeit unsolicited) advice to those with a similar burden for others and to maybe even provide a small way to allow God to convict and lovingly open the eyes of those living in spiritual idleness. My desire is that no one reaches Heaven and hears, “But I never knew you.” Because sadly, I believe many will, in fact, hear those words.

I recently heard second-hand about how someone classified those who call themselves Christians in three ways, and I took this individual’s perspective and changed it slightly and molded it respectfully so that I could understand it as it related to my own balancing act. As professing believers, we are often biblically described as sheep. Perhaps, we sheep fall into one of three categories. Let’s call us Masquerading Sheep, Wandering Sheep, or Sharpening Sheep. 

Masquerading Sheep are the pious dynamos that are so arrogantly focused on the religious “dos and don’ts” of Christianity that when Jesus steps into their world, they completely miss Him. They are the wolves in sheep’s wool that profess to be spiritual and upright but whom, in fact, are not. They are hypocritical and intentionally speak one way but act another way with little or no remorse. As Gill’s Exposition of the Bible puts it, “It was the way of deceivers, and profane men, to cover themselves with their talith, or long garment, as if they were righteous men that persons might receive their lies. All which agrees very well with the Pharisees, who would have been thought to have been holy and righteous, humble, modest, and self-denying men; when they were inwardly full of hypocrisy and iniquity, of rapine, oppression, and covetousness; and, under a pretense of religion, ‘devoured widows' houses." Masquerading Sheep want people to think they have it all together, when in reality, they don’t really love Jesus; they love themselves. 

Authenticity is the degree to which our inner selves (our beliefs, values, feelings, opinions, and spirit) match our outer selves (our actions, decisions, and where we park our priorities). It can also be described as how much we “walk the talk.” The Masquerading Sheep have no authenticity. They claim to have spiritual insight and perhaps engage in ministry, but their relentless positioning for power and influence, their egos, and a hunger to achieve a positive appearance outshine their love for God and others. 

Masquerading Sheep may attend church, but they don’t really believe they are in need of a savior. They have a distorted understanding of their own goodness. They may talk about their faith in superficial ways and profess to be believers, yet there seems to be no genuine or profound conviction. Good works may be evident, but true love is not. Their relationships skim the surface, never diving deep, down where the Spirit dwells. Their words say, “Yes, I believe,” but their actions shout, “I am first.” Boasting and gossiping are likely hobbies. Sunday is the only day reserved for God. The rest of the week is filled with worldly pursuits.

They stand at the edge of the river professing God’s greatness and faithfulness but never put their toe in because the water is too quick or deep for their liking. Comfort and safety are paramount. They tend to make everything about them, unless it’s time for honest self-reflection and seeking forgiveness for their own sins. During those times, they become silent.

There are seasons in our lives when we may attempt to spend a lot of effort and energy in relationships with Masquerading Sheep. We want to help, to point them to True North. I know I have desperately tried to tear masks off only to find I don’t have the ability to do so. These relationships are frustrating – and dangerous. It is difficult to watch someone who has so much potential for God’s kingdom to repeatedly choose comfort over humility or worse – the world over an eternity with God.  

Jesus modeled for us a solution for interacting with these wolves in sheep’s clothing. I never realized how simple it was until I studied Jesus in some of these circumstances. He (and later the apostles) did not typically spend time with these individuals. In fact, they actively avoided them. Admittedly, they were trying to take their lives, but Jesus and His disciples also knew their hearts were hardened. Their eyes were veiled. They wasted little time, if any, trying to teach or reach them. In most cases, Jesus verbally reprimanded them or told parables to teach others how these Pharisees were living apart from God. Most times, He turned his focus to those who were authentic. The Lost. The Broken. The Seeking. The Humble. The Teachable.  

Masquerading Sheep are not living out authentic Christianity, and if you watch and listen carefully, their actions and words prove it. It is for our own protection that we seek to discern and set apart these “sheep” from others. I believe Jesus teaches us to distinguish them from others to avoid them. “By their fruit you will recognize them.” (Matthew 7:20) For, there is no true fruit. There is no selfless love, no true compassion, and no taking up their crosses for the Kingdom’s cause. “Even small children are known by their actions, so is their conduct really pure and upright?” (Proverbs 20:11) I have learned that spending much time with these individuals leaves me weak, fatigued, and spiritually drained. My walk is hindered, and I’m sure that is not part of God’s plan for me.

Thankfully, God has clearly described what relationships we are to pursue – those with Wandering Sheep and Sharpening Sheep. Stay tuned for Part II.  

Prayer - Father God, thank You for Your word, for Jesus as our perfect role model, and for spiritual mentors. Thank You that we can navigate every relationship by studying and following Jesus’s teachings and the lessons found in the Bible. I pray for those who are masquerading, those living apart from You even as they profess their love for You. I pray that some day their hearts are broken open and Your love and grace flow in to change them forever - from the inside out. For, You won’t give up on them because that is perfect love. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Influenced by Matthew 7, particularly verses 15-23 (in the NIV).


©2015 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

"Clay Jar Cracked," a new book by Cortney Donelson is now available on Lulu.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other retail sites, including e-pub, nook, and kindle versions. 

When One is One Too Many By Cortney Donelson

Photo Source: Unknown

Just one. 

My husband asked me about the end goal. My book was finished. The publisher was about to release it to the world. (Gasp!) What would success or victory look like?

My answer was genuine, and it seemed “right.” It did not matter to me how many books were sold. I didn’t care how much royalty money I earned back. My desire was that one person would be reached for Christ. If one individual out there contacted me to share that the book had opened his or her eyes to what a relationship with Jesus could do, I could say this whole venture was successful. If just one person let me know that it changed his or her life, I would be ecstatic. Then, all this would be worth it! The sorrow, the painful story, the late nights spent writing, and the cost – financial, relational, and emotional – would all be worth it if one person came to Christ after hearing my story. That is ultimately what matters, right? Or so I thought…

Then, my husband asked something that caused me to want to cry. “What if no one contacts you? What if you never find out if your story led someone to Christ?” 

I stared at him, stunned. I don’t know! That’s why I wrote it! So God could use it … make the ugly beautiful … turn bad into good … make it worth it! I have to know if it’s done that! I panicked.

From the start of my writing, I had a specific audience in mind.

I initially wrote my book for those who are stuck in a hard place. I wanted them to know that while they may feel as if their life is crumbling around them, there is a way to prevent permanent shattering of the soul and mind. God can hold us together when life experiences crack us wide open. I wrote it to tell my side of a painful story in an effort to help others through their own struggles. 

However, I felt God had a larger, more radical, and somewhat illogical target audience in mind when he gifted me with this story. As the book progressed, the readers I began to desperately write for became those who may not realize the depth of God’s love. My hope is that my story draws in those who do not have an intimate relationship with Jesus – those who need to hear that there is a God out there who will make all things good and redeem what seems unredeemable. Strong Christian believers know this, and I hope my story reminds them. But, those without this type of relationship with Jesus likely don’t realize this truth. They are out there struggling on their own. They are cracking wide open with no divine super glue because they are unaware of God’s mercy and power. They are not leaning on Him but on themselves, others, or worse – things – in an attempt to survive. I want those readers to know that God is bigger than any struggle. He is mightier than any horrible story. His promises never fail, and we are all only one broken, desperate, and dependent prayer away from a miracle … and an eternity with God!

So, as I envisioned my contacts at the publishing company questioning my decision and shaking their collective heads, I asked them to market my book in the Sex and Relationships sections and not in the Christian sections of the bookstores. Then, I hesitantly (but prayerfully) clicked on all the approval buttons.

Suddenly, with my husband’s promptings and questions, I was left with a personal dilemma: What if I never know if someone was won for Christ?

I began to circle my prayer life around this question. Could I still say the last three and a half years were worth it if I never find out the spiritual results of those who read my book? Can I rest in not knowing, but rather trusting? I prayed long and hard, constantly circling this idea. I asked God what He wanted in all this. I let go of what I thought was the noble answer of just one. I began to realize that my “one” was actually a selfish one. It would be my proof of success. It was so that I could sit back and say, “I’m finished. I did what I was supposed to do.” My “one” would be my proverbial pat on the back. It was for me. Not God. My “one” was one too many. 

Humbled and convicted, I began to ask God how to pray for my book. I felt silly, selfish, and awkward praying for its release. I had no idea how to pray big without stepping across the lines of humility and selflessness. I knew I could not have made it through the struggle itself without God. I knew I could never have written the book without His grace, power, and wisdom. So, how do I ask for victory and favor in this area? What does success even look like and how can I always glorify God through it?

Through my prayers, God reminded me that He had prepared me for this time. During the past six months, the focus of the books I have been reading with friends has been how to pray big prayers. “If you don’t take the risk, you forfeit the miracle,” writes Mark Batterson in The Circle Maker. If God is the God of miracles, and I genuinely wrote out my story for His glory, then I should pray big. God honors bold prayers because the glory can only go to Him. 

One is one too many, but hundreds are not enough. I had been underestimating God! The realization struck me hard. So today, I am praying big. I’m praying that God moves this book into the hands of thousands of unbelieving, seeking, fence-sitting, academic, agnostic, atheist, and luke-warm children of His who need to hear His message – those who need Him period. My victory has already occurred. It happened through the miracle of marriage restoration. It happened because of my relationship with Jesus. It happened through His life, death on the cross, and resurrection. 

Now, I’m confident in this: When my prayers are honored, God is glorified a thousand times over. Even if I don’t hear a whisper about it, it will all still be worth it. 

Prayer – Father God, thank You for stories. Thank You for holding us together in times of trouble. I pray for those who will pick up the book and hear the messages of redemption and forgiveness. I pray for those who find themselves in a pit – a struggle of such monumental significance – that they will come to know You are the only One who can intervene. I pray they find you whether it is through this book or any other means. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Influenced by Jesus’ teachings in Matthew 9 and Mark 9, Psalm 107, “The Prayer of Jabez” by Bruce Wilkinson, “Interrupted” by Jen Hatmaker, “The Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson, and “Good to Great in God’s Eyes” by Chip Ingram.

“Clay Jar Cracked” is currently available on Lulu.com. It will be available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and other sites in about six to eight weeks. 

©2015 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

When the Road Less Traveled Can’t Be Found By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

The other day, I sat on my daughter’s bed reading one of her newest library books. It was the story of Robert Frost told from his son’s perspective and written for children. In the back of the book were some of Frost’s most epic poems. The first one listed is perhaps the most famous – and most misunderstood – poem of Frost’s career. 

Robert Frost wrote “The Road Not Taken” in 1920. Reading it on this night caused me to choke back tears. God was nudging me and not for the first time. He had been speaking to me through prayer, Scripture, people, circumstances, songs, and now a poem from a century ago. 

It wasn’t outright fear. (Sigh) That would have been easier to work through. 

It was love. Love of logic. Love of people. Comfort. Loyalty. Respect. Gratitude. These are noble things. That is, until they get in the way – until they are the attributes that pave one of two grassy roads that actually make choices murky and unsettling. I am standing at the proverbially fork trying to discern the road less traveled. After all, if I can just find the road less traveled, I’ll be on God’s path, right? It’s biblical: Dislike the world. Renew my mind. Die to myself. Choose the narrow doors, the roads less traveled. But, what if there isn’t one – a road less traveled? What if both paths are equally as grassy, equally worn - or not worn? I was stuck between two wonderful choices.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both 
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 

I had been standing at a fork in the road in the yellow wood for months. Not one, but two lush roads lay ahead. The first was a straight path to a noble and peaceful outcome. Fun. Easy. Smart. Logical. Honorable. Helpful. These are the words I could use to describe the first road. 

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 

The other road was a winding and equally grassy path that would lead to much joy. It was slightly mysterious though ... possibly illogical. But good. Adventurous. Wise. It may disappoint others at first, but the journey would be exciting and enlightening. I would grow as a person.  

I stared at the two grassy paths and saw that neither had been worn, each one seemingly untraveled. Suddenly, I understood why. God had led me to this fork. There was no “less traveled path” here because these were my paths. They were my roads and mine alone. None had gone before me. God wanted me to choose - not based on how many had traveled them before, but by trusting His promises and His word. This was my decision. My leap of faith moment. This time, He did not want me to choose the narrow door, the trampled path, the greenest path, the recommended path, the road less traveled, or even the opposite of what the world might choose. He just wanted me to choose. I needed to escape the fork – the stagnant position of indecision. The stress of the choice itself and the length of time I was taking to make it were rendering me useless. God wanted me to go, claim a path, and trust my knowledge of His character. He was caring for me by prompting me. God wanted me to move … and not look back. 

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

I couldn’t take both paths. I could not find the road less traveled to make some sort of ultra “spiritual” decision based on what others had or had not done. God wanted me to just know. He wanted me to discern the way because I had spent the countless hours in prayer getting to know Him. He was hoping I just recognized which road to take when the roads seemed equally positive, even if for different reasons. Into the future, “ages and ages hence,” I will not be able to turn back – to go back in time and choose again. I wanted desperately to be obedient to God’s “call.” In the wait, I had become stuck. 

I believed He no longer wanted me to wait on Him for an answer for every decision. I needed a shared understanding of His will through our growing intimacy. Dallas Willard explains it this way in Hearing God, “Here we come to understand what God wants us to understand through immersion with Him in his work… Many cannot progress in their relationship with God because they focus solely on what they think God might be telling them to do.” I asked myself, could I trust His character  – and our relationship - to make the decision when no obvious answer was coming? “Jesus knew what God wanted done … because he knew the mind of God generally.” Was God telling me that I had enough shared understanding with Him in this situation to know rather than hear?

I closed the children’s book and sighed. The following week, I chose the grassy path. And, it has made all the difference.

Prayer: Father God, thank You for loving me enough to be silent at times. Thank You for growing me in relationship with You. You are God Almighty, and I cannot wait to see how decisions made with and in You play out – even if they weren’t made in response to hearing You. Thank You for roads not taken, creative minds to write brilliant poetry and thoughtful books, and friends with which to study them.   In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Influenced by years spent reading God’s word, thousands of hours in prayer, promptings from the Holy Spirit, God’s love and mercy, Hearing God by Dallas Willard, and the poem “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost.

©2015 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

God Bless By Cortney Donelson

I used to sign off all my correspondences with “Sincerely” – except on those to family members and close friends. Then, it was “Love.” When I became a follower of Christ, I started using “In Him.” I’m still not quite sure why I chose that one, but everyone else seemed to be signing off that way, and I was a fledgling Christian ready to imitate anyone with more spiritual maturity than I. 

You may never have thought this long and hard about how you sign off your emails or letters. However, experts in letter writing insist your closing should depend on the tone of your letter and reflect your purpose. In the business world, it reveals your level of professionalism. In more informal scenarios, perhaps it should reflect your personality. 

For over a year now, I have signed off my professional letters and emails with “God bless.” It is not a random or easy end to my message. While “God bless” may be ranked in the top ten ways to close a letter or email, I have been very intentional about using it. 

When I close with “God bless,” I am signing off my message in a prayer. Every time. I have never signed, “God bless,” without taking a moment to reflect on what that short two-word phrase means to me … and to God.

It is an intimate request of God. For you. I am asking God to bless you. My prayer is that He will bless you in ways you expect – and don’t expect. My prayer is that He will be glorified through His blessings for you. My prayer is that you will understand that all blessings are from God and are good, even when at first glance they may not seem that way. My hope is that these blessings are not overlooked or taken for granted. 

When I close with, “God bless,” I am interceding on your behalf, and I don’t take it lightly. Prayers are powerful things. They have opened the skies and closed them back up again. They have healed the sick and raised the dead. Prayers have saved souls. No, I don’t take this lightly at all. 

In fact, every time I close with “God bless,” my prayer is that the blessings are abundant and that every single person who experiences them appreciates that they came from God. If you know God intimately, you know God desires to bless us. Author Mark Batterson writes, “God honors bold prayers because bold prayers honor God.” Asking God to bless us is a bold prayer. God wants to deliver! 

Jabez prayed that bold prayer as recorded in 1 Chronicles 4:9-10. “Oh, that you would bless me indeed!” And, God did. I trust He will answer my prayers for you too. Every time. 

So, as you send emails and letters to others, take a moment to thoughtfully and prayerfully consider how you want to close them. Don’t just skim over that last part where your name goes. It may be the perfect opportunity to intercede on someone’s behalf with a bold prayer that God wants to answer. It may be just the right place and time for God to show His glory and bless us – indeed!

God bless,

Cortney

Prayer: Father God, thank You for your many blessings. I pray that none go unnoticed and that Your name is glorified with each one. Thank You that others can intercede on our behalves and that we, also, have the opportunity to pray for those who may not even realize we are doing it. How cool is that! We ask that you bless us indeed and in turn, we glorify You. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Influenced by The Book of Psalms, “The Prayer of Jabez” by Dr. Bruce Wilkinson, and The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson

©2015 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.