Feeling Trapped By Cortney Donelson

I know, I know! My next devotion was supposed to be the "Word of the Year" post on January 7th. That is still all ready to go. However, I felt prompted to send this devotion out today. I pray God encourages you with it. I know the message was an encouragement to me! Please excuse any errors - my editors are on vacation this month! Have a very Merry Christmas, and a blessed New Year!
~ As a Clay Jar

Galatians 5:1 (NIV)
“[Freedom in Christ ] It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” 

Source: Unknown

I stood in the kitchen with my hands clenched and heart pounding. Angry.  Oh, I was angry. I tried to find one area of my life that was not being controlled by someone else. I couldn’t. Looking through the filter of my white hot mess, I was the victim and everyone else was the conductor of my life.

Money that was due to me was being held by those who were unknowingly controlling our financial picture.

Our family schedule was being dictated by the amount of homework my 9-year old was given the week before Christmas break, even though during school hours they were watching movies.

Technical difficulties were preventing the editor of my book from completing the first round edits that I so desperately wanted to receive.

A multitude of other people were unintentionally controlling my ability to plan, cope, smile, rest, and enjoy the holiday season. At least that was how I felt.

My external self was falling apart. I felt gagged, leashed, and handcuffed to my circumstances and to others’ selfish decisions and actions. The age-old adages that “good guys finish last” and those who selfishly roll over people do get all the breaks were at the forefront of my thoughts. This “nice girl” was ready to throw in her towel.

One day God said not just yet. He left a book in my path, and I wisely picked it up and started to read…

John Ortberg’s “When the Game is Over, It All Goes Back in the Box,” reminded me that I do not have to be yoked to this world. I am not bound by others, by circumstances, or even by my own unmet expectations. I am free, because I believe.

“One of the strongest myths is the illusion of control. ‘I am in control’ is not just a lie; author Ernest Becker called this the vital lie because we need it for our egos to survive.” Externally, I was seething because I felt I had lost control. But maybe – just maybe – I hadn’t.

John Ortberg argues in his book that perhaps our external selves are not really who we are. Yes, our bodies, our clothes, our wealth, our families, our success, and our possessions are what the world values and judges. And, because of those values and judgments, they are the things we try desperately to control in order to save our egos. However, it is our internal selves that matter to God. It is our hearts, our thoughts, and our choices that matter. That is what He is after – for all eternity. He doesn’t call back our bodies; He calls back our souls to an eternal home with Him. “We can all be tempted to place all our focus on the outer person. But one day all that will pass away. You, however, are a being who will never cease to exist. Your spirit – your inward character – is in the process of becoming something. Something either unbelievably good or something unimaginably dark. That something is the main thing God sees when he looks at us.”

I realized this anger of mine was dark. Left to its own seething, it would have wrapped me around its bitter finger. I didn’t want to be a slave to darkness, to anger, or to my frustrating circumstances. I instead chose to stand firm in my freedom through Jesus - the Christ who's birth we are about to celebrate. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”  

I chose to work on what I could control – my internal self. With the Holy Spirit’s help, I reminded myself that just like the apostle Paul who was trapped in prison yet found unending joy, I could feel financially, socially, and physically trapped in these temporary circumstances of mine and still be spiritually, relationally, and eternally free.

Are you feeling trapped...

• by a scary or painful medical condition?
• in a marriage that has not met your expectations of wedded bliss?
• by financial burdens you cannot solve or escape?
• in a job that is demanding more of you than you might be willing to give?
• by the choices you must make?

I needed this reminder … perhaps you do too:

“When the game is over, it all goes back in the box.” Everything, that is, except our spirits – the ones God created, loves, and wants to be free.

Prayer – God, especially in this season of busyness, schedules, financial stress, and holiday commitments, some of us feel trapped. Our circumstances seem big. It seems we have lost control. Thank You that if we keep our internal selves focused on You, we will be set free.  In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2013 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

God’s Character: A List that Holds Power (Part II) By Cortney Donelson

Esther 4:14 (NIV)

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

Source: Unknown

I have never done this. I am writing a devotional story before it happens. Not only that, but I want to ask you – the readers – for something. This week, I will be a bit selfish if you will allow it. I am not writing for you but rather asking something of you … prayer. For the next couple weeks, I need heavy, constant, cavernous, and Spirit-filled prayer.

As we look to the Lord as leader of our lives, there will come times when our humanity seems to overpower our hearts. God will ask us to do something that we believe is just too difficult. A battle between flesh and spirit will ensue. When this happens, many of us will have a similar response: Anything but that. We will barter and negotiate. We might even ignore His request altogether.

Those times when we utter the “anything but that” plea expose our faith gaps:

I will do anything but risk my marriage.

I will do anything but lose my dreams.

I will do anything but leave my job.

I will do anything but end this relationship.

I will do anything but give away my money.

I will do anything but give up my health.

I will do anything but release my children to You.

I will do anything but travel there.

I will do anything but … that.

It is so simple to convince ourselves that we are all-in with our faith and lives as His servants until He presents us with that thing. It is easy to speak our willingness to lose everything … until everything must be lost in order to experience the ultimate gain. Will we actually sacrifice for the very One who sacrificed everything for us?

These past two years, I have wrestled with God many times. On each occasion, I have chosen God and died to myself. With each instance, a tremendous amount of joy and more responsibility have followed. Luke 12:48 in the NIV says, “…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” I cannot explain the Lord’s reasons, but He has entrusted me with much these last two years. I have done my best to obey and follow Him, focusing my eyes on Jesus and basing my decisions on the truths in His Word. In return, more has been asked of me.  

With each act of obedience, with each daily death, I am losing this life – the one that is filled with chaos, pain, and fear – and finding life in Him. It is a life filled with abundant joy, peace, and hope. Each flesh death has been worth it; God has made so much good of so much ugly in my life.

So why am I terrified of what He has asked of me next?

It’s that thing. It’s the pinnacle of all my things. After months of wrestling with God over life-size things and prevailing in that God has fulfilled every one of His promises, God has now offered me the opportunity to surrender the ultimate thing and pick up my heaviest cross. It is the one thing I turn back to gaze on longingly even as I desire to drop everything and follow Christ.

God’s character matters to me more today than yesterday. It must. Clinging to His character, I can walk into what I am about to face without fear or anxiety … but will I? So I begin the God-wrestle again, knowing full well that obedience will be worth it. Yet fear still threatens to take hold and attempt to convince me otherwise. Do I trust God with this too? After all I have sacrificed, will He make this good as well? I know the answer in my head. It has been proven in all my past experiences, but my knowledge and discernment have not convinced my heart quite yet.

God has proven His trustworthiness. When the time comes, I need to cling to the whole of His character – that character list. God is forgiving. God is just. God is good. God is steadfast. God is creative. God has integrity.

I don’t know how the pieces will fall into place in the next couple of weeks, but I do know God. This is my Esther moment. “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14) Esther’s God-ordained purpose was made evident during a faith gap decision that pitted her very life against the lives of her own people. When she wrestled with God and chose obedience, God saved them all. He was just, good, steadfast, creative, and full of integrity for Esther. He has been for me too.

My thing involves life and death on many levels. My thing involves sacred relationships, trust, and forgiveness. It involves swelling emotions, authenticity, truth, grief, and loss. Eternity hangs in the balance. God is near, waiting in expectation. What will I choose?

What would you choose?

Prayer – God, You are faithful. Your character is solid and unchanging. You are a God we can cling to no matter what circumstance in which we find ourselves or what You have asked us to endure. As Your servants, we will wrestle with You but in the end, we want to choose obedience. Thank You for entrusting us with so much. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

NOTE: "As a Clay Jar" will be taking a month-long break in December. First, thank you to my editors, Amy French and Graham Clark. Second, thank you to all you readers out there! I pray your holidays are wonderful and full of peace and joy. The first week in January, "As a Clay Jar" will be back with a devotion that kicks off 2014 with the annual "Word of the Year!" I look forward to sharing about my year of JOY and introducing you to my word for 2014. God Bless!

© 2013 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

God’s Character: A List that Holds Power (Part I) By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

Isaiah 40:28 (ESV)“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.”

Much has been said about God’s character.

God is loving, near to those who pray to Him, powerful, eternal, and merciful. I created this list within seconds based on what I know of God. Imagine the list we could develop if we sat down and prayerfully considered God’s entire character. It may take hours, or even days. Imagine the power this list would unleash. Conceivably, fears would be eradicated, anxiety abolished, and sorrow and pain rendered temporary and even made insignificant in the Light of Who He is.

Sounds to me like we should do this…

God is forgiving. No sin, no mistake, and no faulty decision can separate a believer from God’s love or grace. So, that time in our pasts we don’t want anyone to know about, the long-ago action that led to so much pain, the dark thoughts we cannot escape, the envy we harbor in our secret places … none of it is big enough to turn away our Heavenly Father’s forgiveness. (Acts 13:38: Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.)

God is just. The antonym of merciful is just. Amazingly, our God is both. He is a fair judge, one who acts responsibly and always out of love. His righteousness is demonstrated as He offers us free will – though we may not choose Him. His uprightness is evident by the numerous ways He makes all things good in order to solidify outcomes for His divine purposes. No evil can hinder His perfect justice. God will right all wrongs – even the ones we think we can handle on our own and the ones not even on our radar.  (Deuteronomy 32:4: He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.)

God is good. Everything that God creates is good. Everything that passes through God’s hands transfigures to good, including our circumstances. From God’s perspective, all will be made good in order to complete His masterpiece. Therefore, when life turns sour and we struggle in this world, we can be encouraged that God is there, transforming everything for our benefit as we lean on and love Him. (2 Samuel 10:12: Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.)

Then there are the more subtle of God’s characteristics – the ones that come to mind only when we sit and truly listen to our hearts as they beat strongly for Him…

God is steadfast. God can be forgiving, just, and good, but if His character is prone to grow weary, the rest is all for naught. But God does not tire, He does not fatigue, and He does not give up. God is the Alpha and the Omega. He was, is, and will be. When our lives crumble, when tragedy strikes, or when hope seems lost, God is still there. He is still God, in charge of it all. When we feel like we have hit bottom, God is there to pull us out. Even more amazing, when we run from God, chasing after our own dreams – or worse, Satan’s – God is still there, waiting for us to come Home. (Psalm 55:22: Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.)

God is creative. The subtle hues of a rainbow, the intricacy of the human eye, the vast space filled with burning stars, the imaginative minds of His children – God made all of it. He is beyond creative. What seems impossible to our limited laws of science and math is a simple solution for our God Almighty, whose creativity crosses the border of the possible into the impossible. Where we see broken and shattered dreams, God sees opportunities. When we find ourselves in so deep we see no escape, God shows us a new plan. (Ephesians 3:20-21: Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory…)

God has integrity. He does what He says He will do. This is so important to remember. His Word is truth – filled with morality, always upright. He is full of honor; Nothing can alter the moral code that God has established, and God is the ultimate role model of that code. When God says His love endures forever, it means no matter what we do, He will always love us. When James 1:2-5 reads, Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you, we can in fact find joy during our struggles and ask God for wisdom … and receive it.

Isaiah 40:28 (ESV) sums up this list perfectly. “Have you not known? Have you not heard? (God has integrity) The Lord is the everlasting God (God is eternal), the Creator of the ends of the earth (God is good). He does not faint or grow weary (God is steadfast); his understanding is unsearchable (God is creative).”

I challenge you to develop your own list of God’s character. Slow down. Pray through it. God’s character matters, and as you will see in Part II next week, being able to “cling to the character of God[1]” makes all the difference in this world.

Prayer – God, we cannot praise You enough for everything You are. You are trustworthy, glorious, and brilliant. Your ways are so much better than our ways. I pray we all run after Your heart and cling to Your character in all situations – those we perceive as good and those we believe are bad. For in truth, they are all made good by You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

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[1] Max Lucado, a gifted writer, pastor, and speaker, said this at a Women of Faith conference in Charlotte, North Carolina on October 12, 2013: “Before tough times come, think of God’s character. Faith crises are caused when our expectations are not met. If you cling to the character of God, you will get through it. God never promises the absence of pain. He promises to be there and to use it for good.”

Little Miss Independent By Cortney Donelson

Romans 1:21 (NIV)

“For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.”

Source: Unkown

One of the enemy’s darkest and most convincing lies is that we can do this on our own.

We can’t. Trust me; I’ve tried.

We can’t fill the holes in our hearts – the gaping ones that bleed with insecurity, loneliness, and rejection. Those are God-shaped holes.

We can’t discern truth from lies. It takes God’s whispers, the Holy Spirit’s promptings, and other believers’ reminders to unleash the wisdom and confidence it takes to stand our ground against the doubts and fears that invade our minds.

We can’t make other people love us forever or perfectly, or even at all. Only God can love like that.

We can’t change other people. Hardened hearts are only awakened by God’s grace and mercy. No intentional action, no well-thought-out gift, no perfectly-timed word can do what God can do in an instant with a heart walled off by pain or fear.

Likewise, we cannot force people into a life in Christ. We can only be patient, pray, and wait upon the Lord.

We can’t expect our lives to turn out exactly how our self-focused plans and visions of perfect jobs and white picket fences have shown us. Only God’s plan for our life is filled with the type of character-building, pride-stifling, God-glorifying twists and turns that make it all good.

If we believe the lie that we can do this one and only life on our own, that we can control the successes or failures of our lives, we will be highly disappointed … and left completely broken. We are, after all, only human.

Without a daily dependence on God, our hearts will remain bruised and bleeding, our fears will conquer us, people will hurt us beyond repair, walled off hearts will stay hidden so authenticity becomes fiction, and we will constantly be in want of the life-giving fellowship and intimacy with the only Savior who can shine light into our darkness, transfiguring everything for good. That is indeed what the enemy craves.

When I was a girl, I was the poster-child for Little Miss Independent. I knew of God and believed in God, but I did not trust God with my life or thank Him in ways that were surely due. Romans 1:21 (NIV) says, “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.” I was sure of what I knew and sure I knew everything. Stubborn as four mules, failure was just not an option. And since it was up to me to succeed or fail, I studied hard, practiced hard, and problem-solved hard. Success did come in the form of good grades, coveted spots on tennis teams, and all the appropriate rewards and trophies that accompany worldly achievement. But in truth, my foolish heart was darkened.

In college something happened that I could not problem-solve my way out of. I had nowhere to turn while shame and guilt laid heavy on my heart. The enemy was the first one at the door, spewing the age-old lie that I could fix this on my own. For months, he repeated the notion that I was “too good” to ask for help, too good not to handle this. You can fix it. You don’t need anyone else.

Then, something amazing happened. Jesus came knocking at that door, and He was about to show me a new way of thinking, a better way of acting, a selfless way of living, and a forgiving way of life that would make all my messes good, no matter how “bad” they were. Jesus erased the lie that I could fix life’s potholes on my own. Jesus’ message was fresher – full of hope, mercy, and dependence on Him. The stress of my mess vanished. Shame and guilt fell away. Rather than fighting my battle alone, Jesus promised me that He would stand by me and fight for me, if I would just trust Him. I, the great I AM, will make even this good.

It was a scary proposition at first – to give up my independence and instead, rely on the Lord in all things and in all ways. But when I really thought about it, my old life of independence was just that – a life independent … of joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. My old life was a lonely and painful one, full of competition and doubts. It was a stress-filled, pressure-cooker, too-busy-to-enjoy kind of life. In the end, I realized I had nothing to lose.

So I jumped in, and I have never looked back.

What part of your life are you holding onto, wrestling with God to keep in your own corner? What is the area where you fear giving up control? Whether it is with your finances, relationships, career, or even your faith itself, I pray you jump in. Don’t let your heart be hardened by the lie that you can do it, fix it, solve it, or succeed by yourself. Trade your independent way of thinking for a life full of peace and joy. I promise you: it is worth it.

Prayer – Heavenly Father, thank You for never forsaking us. Thank You for filling our holes, mending our hurts, giving us strength, and forgiving our sins. You do it all, and for all, we give thanks. I pray for those who do not know a life in You. I pray that someday, their hearts melt and they finally invite You in to make things good. I am forever dependent on You. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

One Day at a Time By Cortney Donelson

In celebration of “As a Clay Jar’s” one-year anniversary, I thank God from the bottom of my heart for weekly devotion No. 52. He has been faithful and true, and I have enjoyed every minute of serving you and glorifying Him in this way. Thank you for reading!

  

Source: Unknown

James 4:13-14 (NIV)
Boasting About Tomorrow
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”

There are ultra runners. There are ultra light aircrafts, and there are ultra healthy foods.

I used to be an ultra planner. Not anymore. I no longer write out lists of things to do or items to buy. I have stopped thinking I have it all together and believing I can plan ahead for anything. I still dream and have goals, but they are no longer built on my own desires or objectives. And I love it!

There is something I want to share – a simple truth. There has not been a single week this past year when I have wondered or worried about a devotion not yet written for this blog. Most times, God has been so kind and has provided me with the words to write weeks beforehand. Some weeks, there were a few days left before the blog was to post when the content of a devotion slipped into my heart and the words came ever so easily. Yet even during those weeks when the deadline loomed, I have escaped any anxiety about whether God would come through and prove His faithfulness once again. Here’s why:

I take it one day at a time. For this season, God has me writing. Today, God is giving me the words to say – the message He wants me to convey. What about tomorrow?  In the Bible, James reminds us, “Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” I don’t know what the Lord’s plan is for tomorrow, and that must be okay. If God closes the door on my writing season and no more titles or content come, if God wraps up this gift and places the box back on His shelf, it must be okay. I have learned that His promises never change, but our lives do. He will forever shift the pieces of my life, opening and closing doors. That must be okay. I trust Him.

I used to take God’s door openings and run with them until I became exhausted or worse – had run down a wrong path. I would get a glimpse of God’s fingerprints on something only to make the mistake of taking His perfect gift or His perfect timing and adding my own human ambition to the mix. When I did this, things imploded. Plans fell through. People were not ready. It was not okay. Matthew Henry[i] writes in his commentary, “How vain a thing it is to look for anything good in futurity, without the concurrence of Providence.”

When we move ahead with plans for our future independent of God, we block the hand of God from moving in our favor. Lisa Bevere, a gifted Christian author and speaker, said, “God’s plan for your life is the enemy’s worst enemy.” I certainly don’t want to miss God’s plan and fall prey to the enemy’s scheming because I was too busy arranging my life on my own instead of following God’s lead.

If I wake up tomorrow and devotional writing is no longer in God’s will for me, that must be okay. The only way I can do this justice and give Him the glory is to ask Him each and every day whether writing is still a part of His plan. When I lean on God and follow Him, it eliminates all worry, all anxiety, all stress, and all fear.

Did you hear that, friends? If we choose to follow Jesus each day rather than each month or season of life (or rather than making one decision to follow Christ and then forgetting who we are in Jesus the moment the prayer, baptism, or decision is over), if we choose to follow Him no matter what He brings into our life for that particular day, we will live without worry, anxiety, stress and fear. How? Because if we trust God and know that He is working for our good as promised in the book of Romans, it does not matter what that day holds. Everything but Jesus dims to the knowledge you are living in His will. It doesn’t matter what He may ask us to do or what we might be required to endure – we can trust the end result will be amazing!

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

If we pray for our journey one day at a time and ask God what He has in store for us, we will never have the kind of tunnel vision about our future that causes us to miss God’s grace and gift for this day – grace and gifts that may come as surprises and change the courses of our lives for His kingdom’s cause.

Prayer – God, we pray against our vain ultra planning tendencies – ones the enemy surely uses to his advantage. Rather, I pray we look at each and every day as a clean slate. Today, we ask You to show us Your will. We want to follow You and Your plans only. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

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[i] Matthew Henry was an English commentary on the Bible and Presbyterian Minister. His commentaries are some of the most viewed in our day.

Finding Holiness ... by Choosing Meekness By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

Matthew 5:5 (NIV)

“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”

Psalm 37:11 (NIV)

“But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity.”

When you hear the word meek, what do you think? Does it conjure up images of a shy and quiet individual – perhaps one who is so submissive as to allow others to take advantage of him? Is meekness a sign of weakness?

I used to think so…

Then something happened. During a women’s retreat in the mountains of North Carolina at the Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove, I learned a few things about what God thinks of the meek. Matthew 5:5 and Psalm 37:11 both promise the meek an inheritance of the whole earth. “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” Then it gets better! The meek will enjoy two more conditions we all long for: peace and prosperity. “But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity.” While journaling at that retreat, I wrote this prayer on March 14, 2009: Lord, make me meek so that I can be strong for You. Take away my selfish ambitions and make me ambitious for You. Since that time, God has answered my prayer in an interesting (and extremely effective) way. God did not make me meek. Instead, He showers me with opportunities to choose meekness. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikes4yPulmI) And for the most part, I do…

The primary definition of meek in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “showing patience and humility; enduring injury with patience and without resentment.” Wow! That is the poster-description of Christ Jesus. Even though Pontius Pilate had found no legal grounds for death, Jesus, in a total display of meekness, picked up His cross and started up the hill past His accusers. Then while hanging on the cross, Jesus asked God for mercy on those who were crucifying Him. There was no resentment. There was no anger. There was certainly no selfish ambition or pride. There was no retribution or revenge. There was only patience, love, and forgiveness – a total display of holiness.

Haven’t we all been in a place where we've had the opportunity to choose how to respond to injustice? A trusted friend betrays us beyond what we think we can handle. Someone rejects or abandons us in such a painful and profound way that we are unsure of what to do or how to react. An unfair accusation or label is forced upon us without proof, remorse, or concern. For me, there is nothing harder on this earth than choosing to patiently endure an injustice, swallow my pride, forsake my reputation, or forgive the unforgivable. But I have done it.

You can too.

One of my “wound” buttons is the fear of being misunderstood. My insides rip apart if I believe someone has judged me without hearing my side of the story – my motives, my thought-processes, my prayers, or the reasons behind my decisions. So when an unfair and one-sided accusation from my personal world was shared with my boss in my professional world, I felt the weight of pride and reputation heavy on my shoulders. This is unfair! Her side of the story is so different from mine. She painted me in such a bad light. That was so inappropriate to share with my boss. What will he think of me? I need to tell him my perspective and set things straight! Anger tore. Peace was nowhere to be found during the heated battle within my heart.

However, I did what I have now learned is the only thing to do when expectations go unmet and emotions threaten to bubble over into regretful words and actions. I immediately started to pray. God reminded me that this was yet another opportunity to become strong for Him … by choosing to be meek like Christ. That IS what I asked for so many years ago – for Him to take away my selfish ambitions. He showed me that succumbing to the bickering and justifying my side of the story would only escalate the situation. My boss was not looking for answers, for drama, or for personal agendas. He wasn't looking for anything. God reminded me He is the God of justice too. This did not have to be my battle to fight. So I swallowed my pride, put on the cloak of meekness, and chose to let it go.

At times, I still struggle with finding my “inner meek”, and sometimes I am not successful. But guess what? When I let this specific slander go, as I gave it over to God and in return was filled with God’s grace, peace ensued. The weight of reputation and pride lifted and was replaced with God’s forgiveness. Through the work of the Holy Spirit, I became a little more like Christ – a little more holy.

Prayer –Thank You, God, for opportunities to become more Christ-like, more holy. I pray we choose to say yes to those opportunities every time. Yet even when we do fall, and when we chose pride, selfish ambition, or anger, You are there for us then too. For the life, work, death and resurrection of Jesus, we are eternally grateful. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.

Waiting Therapy By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

Lamentations 3:24 (NIV)

“I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.”

As a licensed physical therapist, I know the four stages of ice therapy forward and backward. First, there is the cold stage. The satisfying cold sensation soon turns to tingling and burning in the next stage. The third stage is the aching stage. Finally, the fourth and most important stage is numbness. Presto! Your pain is gone.

Recently, God asked me to wait on Him for something I had been pursuing for a long time. I agreed, keeping His Word in my heart. “I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.” As I spent countless months in that season of waiting, the Lord showed me that like my patients who experience those four stages of cold therapy, I would experience similar phases in this God-designed “waiting therapy.”

The Cold Stage: When a person in pain first places the ice pack on the offending body part, there is a moment of relief. The cold energizes the patient and leaves them feeling good. That’s what happened 18 months ago, when a kind of pain emerged in my life. The offender was my part-time job. The number of hours I worked for this remote role – one that allowed me flexibility and the opportunity to be home with my young children – started to dwindle as the client pool dried up. What had been 50 billable hours per month plummeted to an average of two. Money started to get tight. Yet from the start of the slide, I had a sense that it was God closing this door for me, not some trial or tribulation propelled by any worldly cause. So, I had a certain peace about it. Then, when God provided a glimpse of what was in my future, I became energized. As I waited for God to show me more and lead me onto my new path, I was able to remain eager and feeling good. There was no anxiety – only an energized waiting. I was in Stage One of waiting therapy.

The Tingling and Burning Stage: Several months into that excitement, I have to admit, I started to get edgy. My trust in God never waned, but my ability to understand His timing started to diminish. Just as with cold therapy, that initial pleasant feeling of energized waiting became less … nice. This was uncomfortable waiting. Just as my patients look at me with a question in their eyes as the tingling and burning increase, I looked up to God with a question of my own. This isn’t as fun, anymore, God. Why so much waiting? I had become nervously patient. I found myself in Stage Two of waiting therapy.

The Aching Stage:  This is gut-check time. During cold therapy, patients tend to reach toward their ice packs in anticipation of removing them. The aching seems unbearable – sometimes worse than the original pain. I always stop them. This is not because I am some mean-spirited physical therapist intent on proving the adage, “no pain, no gain.” It is because I know what is to come.

The wait in my life became agonizing, as well, as I entered a time of painful waiting. For more than a year, my spending had far outweighed my earning, and my bank account was showing signs of strain. My nervous patience turned into a frustrated and somewhat defeated IMpatience. I looked up to God as fear began to scratch at the outer walls of my heart. Had I missed something?

Then I did something for God that I have always urged my patients to do for me. I trusted God because I realized His timing and His plan were trustworthy. I was reminded that this is the stage that made Job famous. It is the stage about which Jesus and His disciples teach us throughout the New Testament. In 1 Peter 1:6-7, the apostle Peter praises the Lord and reminds God’s people of the living hope found in Jesus:“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold … may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”  I looked at all the past moments stamped with God’s faithfulness, and I let go of the fear creeping into my heart.  I wanted my faith proved genuine, so I said to God: Your will be done. I do trust You.

As it turns out, God was developing my perseverance during my waiting therapy. I could have reached out and attempted to move plans forward on my own. Just as my patients have the choice to remove that ice pack too early, I could have tried to make things happen independent of God and His timing. As the weeks went by, I instead chose to follow Scripture and keep waiting – leaving the aching and longing in place rather than going forward alone. As it turns out, I finally reached that sweet stage where all the pain disappears, where God makes things good as He unfolds His curiously awesome design. My wait ended with something spectacular – a dream job – one I could never have found or created on my own.

Are you waiting on the Lord? No matter what stage you are in, take heart. The wait is worth it!

Psalm 27:14

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 130:5

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Prayer –Thank You, Lord, for our waiting therapy. It builds character and perseverance … and trust in You. After all, trust is our primary task, and Your timing and plans have never ceased to amaze.  In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

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