An "Aha" Moment By Cortney Donelson

Source: Unknown

John 15:15 (NIV)

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

While reading “Hearing God” by Dallas Willard (not an easy read, but so worth it!), I was struck with a realization. I experienced one of those “aha moments.” I am still trying to wrap my head around it. Maybe you can relate…

Dallas Willard, while explaining that God is not a taskmaster, but that our communion with Him allows for greater communication between us and Him, wrote this: “… we demean God immeasurably by casting Him in the role of cosmic boss (aka Master)… Instead, we are to be God’s friends…” Immediately, God spoke to my heart. This was important for me.  After sitting with Mr. Willard’s sentence for a while, I realized its significance. I have no difficulty thinking of God as Father. I know some do. I have never struggled to call God my Master or Boss. I am sure others have. I rest in the knowledge that I am a child of God and do not shrink from my goal of being a servant in His mission. 

The relationship I struggle with is friend of God. The intimate relationship that comes after the Master-Servant relationship has run its course. The one God longs for more than any other because true friendship signifies genuine intimacy and community with God. Just as a not-so-great earthly father has caused some of you to struggle with the ability to go to God as your Heavenly Father, many of my childhood and young adulthood friendships have left me unable to fully understand God as Friend. I don’t blame anyone but myself.

S. Michael Houdmann, CEO of GotQuestions.org, wrote this: “The principle of friendship is found in Amos. ‘Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?’ (Amos 3:3) Friends are of like mind. The truth that comes from all of this is a friendship is a relationship that is entered into by individuals, and it is only as good or as close as those individuals choose to make it. Someone has said that if you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, you are blessed. A friend is one whom you can be yourself with and never fear that he or she will judge you. A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete trust. A friend is someone you respect and that respects you, not based upon worthiness but based upon a likeness of mind.”

After an abrupt and confusing end to a close friendship in my youth, I was left with the false idea that friends are those who betray you. The harsh abandonment from this trusted pal left me unable to “reboot” my understanding of true friendships. From that point forward, I became a terrible friend myself. Judgmental. Critical. Fearful. Jealous. My friendships were short-lived. I avoided being myself for fear I was unlikable. I refrained from confiding in others with complete trust. I lost respect for the relationship called “friend.” 

So, when Jesus calls me friend, I fight the label. It is not a positive concept for my friendship-torn heart. I do not feel I am a worthy friend. Worse, I do not want to call Jesus my friend. It seems demeaning and shallow. However, if I dare to look at Jesus as the model of a true friend, and not myself or my past friendships, I find something amazing.

Jesus defines true friendship: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:13-15). Jesus’ relationships – both past and present – are the purest illustrations of what a true friend will do, for He laid down His life for His "friends." 

My past relationships are not a good measuring tool for true friendships. Rather than surrender my fears, pride, and ego, I ran away. Rather than confront a problem and work out differences, others simply chose to abandon me. Jesus says, “not me.” He never ran, and He never will. 

In Proverbs 17:17 it states, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Adversity is not part of the true friendship model. Jesus loved. He rebuked. He did not judge or criticize. He corrected. He healed. He forgave. He did not betray, reject, or abandon His friends. In order to have a true friend, one must be a true friend. 

In accepting the label “friend of God,” I must run to Jesus in times of trouble, not run from Him. I must choose to share my whole self and hide nothing. I must trust Him without judgment or lack of faith. It’s what He does for me. Actually, He does more. Paul described true friendship as well: "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:7-8). And, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends" (John 15:13). Jesus will never betray me. He died for me.

Now, that is true friendship – one I can begin to use as my framework for all my current and future friendships.

Prayer – Friend, Thank You for stopping us in our tracks when You have something to teach us. I am so very thankful for Your true friendship. I pray I use Jesus’ model and not my own biased thoughts to come to You abandoned as friend, being like-minded and genuine at all times. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

© 2014 As a Clay Jar. All rights reserved.