Finding Iron By Cortney Donelson

Source: www.itbcministry.com

Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Sharpened iron is better iron. It cuts faster and stronger. It remains useful. 

The Bible tells us we are like iron. Without sharpening, we lose strength and become weary. Without sharpening, we become less useful in God’s Kingdom. God can’t be more clear in Proverbs 27:17. Surrounding ourselves with others makes us better – spiritually, mentally, intellectually, and physically. We have a term for these people in our lives: accountability partners.

A few months ago, I was missing something. I couldn’t put my finger on it. There was a hole in my life. I prayed. I searched. I talked with God and with my husband, and I discovered the missing element. I did not have a group of accountability partners. I had friends, sisters in Christ, but we were not necessarily doing life together. There was no deliberate learning happening between us. In essence, we were not sharpening each other. 

The pastor at my church, Dr. James Emory White, talks about different types of Christian relationships. He teaches we need all three in our lives in order to grow spiritually. First, there is the peer relationship. Two people in roughly the same place spiritually who encourage one another and learn together. Then, there is the mentor relationship. We all benefit from having someone in our lives who is wiser and has gone through more of life’s experiences. They can help guide us as we strive to make Christianly decisions. Lastly, there is the mentee relationship. At some point, we all need to pour out to others, share with or teach someone less experienced than us, or perhaps even help them to find Christ in the first place.  

I was missing two of these relationships. My peer relationships were limited to social gatherings. I was great at being called friend, but not great at challenging my friends. None of us were gaining any spiritual wisdom with the lunch dates, emails, and phone calls. I was finding happiness but not joy. I felt like we were all lacking a crucial piece of the friendship puzzle. So we circled up – four of us in total. 

I felt excited about the amazing things God would accomplish within and through our new accountability group. We picked a book to study (intellectual accountability) and chose the Book of James to unpack together (spiritual accountability). We also talked about our needs for health and fitness accountability, parenting accountability, and relational accountability. I jumped in, extremely excited to get started with my reading.

What I did not anticipate was that only six days later, a poignant moment of sharpening would come through via text from one of these ladies. 

My iron friend sent this to me: This is why I ask for your advice. You’re so wise.

I replied with a joke, effectively negating the compliment and making fun of myself. My iron friend sent this back: Why are we so good at putting ourselves down?

I was jolted. The Spirit stirred me at my core. My iron friend was right. I had not accepted the compliment gracefully. I had diminished it. And, in doing so, I had poked fun at perhaps one of the gifts God blessed me with when He created me. As an accountability partner, she was not afraid to point out my weakness in order to boldly move me in a better direction. The Greek historian born in 46 A.D., Plutarch, said it this way: "I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better." She didn't just laugh off my ill-timed joke but held me accountable to accept the compliment gracefully. 

Her text sharpened me.  A few minutes later, I sent one back. What I meant to say was … Thank you.

You’re welcome.

Thank you, dear friend for calling me out in love. Iron sharpens iron. I will become a better wife, a better mom, a better friend … a better servant for Jesus through this accountability group. 

Now, I pray God will help me find the second iron relationship I am missing – the mentor relationship. I continue to ask God to introduce me to an older, wiser, and more experienced Christian woman. Gray hair preferred! One who has been through the stages of life I am about to enter. Someone who can help guide me, in love. I seek an iron mentor who will show me how to become better - more like the person God intended for me to be. 

Perhaps you could pray too – to ask God to help you fill one of these iron relationships that you may be missing…

Prayer – God, thank You for creating community. Thank You for all the ways we can sharpen each other. I pray for those who seek Christian friends and mentors. I pray for those who fill those roles. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.