A Little Piece of Heaven By Cortney Donelson

Matthew 19:12 (MSG)

“… if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”

I don’t cry. Ok, maybe I cry during certain movies like “Beaches” and “There’s Something About Mary.” (chuckle, chuckle) And, maybe I cry when I feel people have hurt me in some way. I suppose I also cry when I see my children doing something difficult for the first time – and succeeding. I definitely cry over loss and tragedy. So, let me start over.

I cry.

I really cry at weddings. It wasn’t until I was married that this throat-constricting phenomenon started. Perhaps it took my own experience walking down the aisle with my dad and his ceremonial handing me over to my husband to realize the enormity of marriage. Before that white-carpeted walk, marriage was a fairy tale. It seemed to be all centerpieces, honeymoons, dresses, and parties. My prince charming and I were going to live happily ever after. However, shortly after we finished our vows, I moved far away from “home,” started a job, bought a house, and the fairy tale staled with the routines and responsibilities of life.

My prince charming and I celebrated 14 years of marriage a couple months ago. While there have been an immeasurable amount of happy times, thrilling adventures, and tiny moments of Heaven, there have been many difficult times as well. It takes a lot of ingredients to make the marriage cake rise, so to speak. Sometimes, we are short on a few of those critical ingredients – patience, selflessness, mercy. We decided early on in our marriage that divorce was just not an option. We witnessed too many couples give up too easily because the option to separate was on their table of solutions. So, we took it off the table.

The reality is there are difficult times in every marriage. It’s why Jesus explains that not everyone is marriage material. In Matthew 11-12 of “The Message Bible,” Jesus says, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked – or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”

In essence, Jesus is saying that marriage is extremely difficult. He doesn’t want us to sugarcoat it and be defeated by lofty expectations of never-ending happiness. In fact, He is saying that people have to grow into marriage. A marriage relationship is so complicated, so large, and so profound that no one is truly ready for it when they actually do get married. In his book “Sacred Marriage,” Gary Thomas writes, “Struggle makes us stronger; it builds us up and deepens our faith. But this result is achieved only when we face the struggle head-on, not when we run from it.” Those countless couples who give up before they have spent the time to grow into it have not given marriage a chance. Maybe they haven’t given God the chance to make their marriages beautiful. Gary Thomas continues, “Struggling successfully and profitably brings a deeper joy than even trouble-free living.” He is right. (And, there’s that word joy again…)

I met a wonderful example of the largeness and joyfulness of marriage just the other day. I never expected an elderly couple to brighten my entire outlook on marriage in a matter of minutes. I hope their story challenges you to keep growing in your marriages. If you are not married and hope to be someday, maybe you will remember this story and take divorce off the table of options when things get difficult.

I sat on a bench outside a department store at the mall waiting for the 10:00 chime that seems to open the doors of every retailer simultaneously. An elderly couple walked up and asked if I would share the bench with them. As soon as they sat down, the husband turned to me and admitted that they now needed to take rest breaks with every lap at the mall. “We used to be able to walk three laps without stopping, but my wife here is 92 years old.” I stared at the beautiful lady who was grinning from ear to ear. He proceeded to share that they have been married 70 years, walk every day, live in the same house they bought 64 years ago, raised three children, and continue to cook and mow the lawn on a regular basis. I sat in amazement. He continued to boast about his wife and her cooking skills. It was so sweet.

He mentioned they live to reach the following Sunday so they can attend church. Then, his wife asked me if I had any children. “Yes, a boy and a girl.”

“How old?” she inquired. “Eight and four.”

“Enjoy every moment with them. Pretty soon they will grow up, get married, and be gone.” I smiled thinking, “I try to, but it’s hard sometimes.”

“And, cherish every moment with your husband. There will be tough times, but they are worth it. You’ll go through a lot together … a lot of ups and downs.” “No kidding…”

 “Too many couples give up these days,” she finished and smiled again, almost knowingly…

Suddenly, the husband stood up, took his wife’s hand, and bid me farewell. “Thanks for listening to us,” he said as they slowly walked away hand-in-hand. “No, thank you,” I whispered.

Here was a couple who had fully grown into the largeness of marriage. God had just given me a little piece of Heaven.

I cried.

Prayer – Sometimes I am in awe with the moments You gift us with here on earth. They come in so many forms, such as an elderly couple giving marital advice, a child laughing uncontrollably, or even the birth of a new baby. Thank You for them. Thank You for reminding us that this home is temporary and with these little pieces of Heaven, we can rejoice in what is to come. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

© 2013 As A Clay Jar. All rights reserved.