Slowing Down for Joy By Cortney Donelson

Psalm 86:15
“But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.”

Psalm 103:8

“The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.”

Psalm 145:8

“The Lord is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.”

I tend to do everything fast. I eat fast. I walk fast. I drive fast. I also tend to get angry fast. Not good! I have become somewhat of a stalker on all things Bible. Take www.biblegateway.com, for example. I love this website! I can type in a word, a Scripture, or a phrase, and it will show me all the Bible passages that contain those key words. I use this resource often – especially while I am writing. So, imagine my naivety-inspired surprise when I typed in “slow anger” and three almost identical verses popped up. They all come from Psalms, and at least in the New Living Translation, all say the exact same thing. So, what is God up to when it comes to being slow to anger? I think I have one idea…

God created us in His image (Genesis 1:27). Ideally, we are to grow more Christ-like during our faith journeys. If that remains our goal, then we will be constantly changing, always improving. One area where I knew I needed to improve was in the area of anger management. As a teenager, I once hit someone’s car with my tennis racket because she said something rude to my younger brother. In college, I remember throwing a phone across the room during an argument with someone. My anger has always been quick to rise up, and the reactions that bleed from that rage are slow to heal anything.

When I invited Christ into my heart, I knew this was an area I needed to address. Over the years, I have been intentionally focused on reeling in those emotions that boil inside when I perceive injustices have occurred. I pray, seek God’s word, invite His peace, remember His justice, and even run out of a room if I believe I won’t be able to stop the boil over. Recently, I had a breakthrough.

I read a book called “Relationships” by Dr. Phillips and his wife. They are Christian counselors, and the book was recommended by a friend. The authors talk about “slowing down” when an argument is about to happen or when you feel anger rising up inside you. Easier said than done! But, it worked because slowing down allowed me to focus on the root of my anger and let God show me the truth of what was really happening. I began to understand that people are not purposely trying to make me mad. No one wants to hurt me. I have heart wounds that get stepped on, but no one knows about them but me. What are some of my wounds? The fear of being misunderstood, feeling abandoned, and believing others see me as unimportant or insignificant … but what is the truth? God understands me. God is here. God adores me with an unfailing love. God created me significant.

One night just a couple weeks ago, I felt the anger begin its boil during a conversation with my husband. I recognized it immediately and slowed myself down to ask God what wound of mine was being opened. “I am not important” was the lie I uncovered. Once I recognized it, God immediately began to impress upon me that I am beyond important. God whispered, “Your husband loves you. He cares about your opinion. More importantly, I love you. You are one of my cherished and beloved daughters. I care about you enough to choose you – every day. And, that is enough.” My anger vanished. My husband and I finished our conversation without the blowup, and I knew I had finally upset the enemy’s control over that particular heart wound. I was filled with the joy that always tends to follow His peace.

So, what is God up to when He describes Himself as being “slow to anger” three times within in the same book of the Bible – only a few verses apart? It helps us slow down. He wants us to read it – again, again, and again. The first time through, we may have been reading so fast that we would have missed it. God wants us to fill our wounds with this medicating truth: His compassion, His mercy, His love, and His faithfulness are enough to heal any broken heart and stop any anger in its tracks.

Slowing down my anger is not easy. It takes discovering what my old wounds are and trusting they can be sown up and healed with God’s mercies. Have I been successful? Not always. Am I changing? Yes! Am I becoming more Christ-like and learning to be slower to anger? Yes! Am I perfect? No – and that’s okay. God made each of us with the capacity to reflect His own characteristics. For me, this means reducing that white-hot anger that arises so quickly and instead, reflecting His peace while finding His joy.

Prayer – God, thank You for repeating Your message in Psalms so that we don’t miss it. Slowing down our anger allows us to find Your peace and joy. I am forever thankful for Your compassion – especially knowing we don’t deserve it at times. I will continue to work towards filling my wounds with Your medicating truths. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

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